I'm starting to see some sad trends in this family and I feel for little Jake, who seems to be torn.

The obvious solution to this "dilemma" of the family vacation was for Amy to postpone her speaking engagement in Wisconsin. Why was that never explored as a possible solution? The entire family could have then gone on the trip. But, no, she had to stick to her guns and stubbornly do her thing, meanwhile causing a huge divide in the family.

Or at the very least she should have encouraged the kids to go and have a good time, despite her not choosing to be there. To allow Zach, an adullt (numerically, anyway, if not due to maturity) to back out is one thing, but to allow him to manipulate wishy-washy Molly into not going is going way, way overboard.

Of course Jeremy (who is proving to be more mature than his same-age brother and whose personality is more daring and adventuresome as well) would go on this trip. He and Matt have proven to be a lot alike.

But where does little Jacob fit in? The poor kid was torn. Seeing how bad he felt--and knowing how difficult it is for him to verbalize his emotions (although his body language spoke volumes)--Amy should have talked Zach into going, for his brother's sake. And she should have told Molly that not going is not an option. Since when should a 15- or 16-year-old make such decisions? Ironically, Molly and Zach are the ones who enjoy geography and Molly has said in the past that she wants to travel around the world. Zach knew she wanted to go, but persuaded her--GUILTED HER--into not going.

Rorie, I enjoy your analytical posts, and often agree with all your points.
However, in this case, and as mentioned in another thread..if Amy had just refused to honor her committment to show up and speak, how ethical would that be?
Or if she'd signed a contract to appear, how legally correct?
How can she garner speaking engagements..for which she is paid..with a history of "can't be there, Matt has planned a vacation"?
Dubbing her schedule as 'choosing' not to be there is a stretch.

If...and it would be a big 'if', not going is not an option, Matt has scheduled the trip, why shouldn't HE order Molly to go..why must Amy do that? Why must Amy talk Zach into going..why not Matt? Matt rarely communicates with the kids, he's spinning every moment, and all three of the older ones know it.
And, I do agree Jacob is conflicted when tensions arise.
However, it seems to have been fine for those who did go, and perhaps also fine for those who did not.

Speaking engagements are cancelled or postponed all the time. It's not an unusual occurrence. I doubt there would have been legal ramifications, especially if she simply postponed the speech instead of flat out cancelling.
Her cancelling needn't be considered as her giving in to her husband, but rather keeping the family united. The least she could have done was be mature and encourage all the kids to go. She knew that Zach and Molly wanted to go. Who wouldn't? She certainly did. And they're the ones with a love of geography and an interest in traveling. She chose to allow them to side with her--to give herself a boost of self-esteem--instead of encouraging them to go. It was very manipulative on her part.

And I'm not sure everything turned out hunky-dory. There arose a "divide" (in Zach's words) that I don't think can be completely mended. It's become obvious as to what could happen if the family is split up--Jer will side with Matt; Molly and Zach will side with Amy; and Jake will be left floundering.

Rorie
First of all speaking engagements are usually canceled for good reasons like health, family emergencies or conflicting work issues. What kind of example would Amy be to the kids if she blew off work for yet another trip? Amy may be looking for a career after the show. She needs to be reliable if she expects to be able to pull in a decent income.

How do you teach kids to make decisions if you don't let 19 year old's make their own? Right or wrong Zach made a decision and stuck to it.

Rorie - I totally agree with you. You said exactly how I feel about the whole situation. I think the speaking engagement could have/should have been postponed. I think FAMILY TIME is the most important time of all. You never know when a loved family member may not always be there, so you should take advantage of time spent together. Soon those kids will all be gone, and another opportunity like this may never come up again! There will always be speaking engagements!!

Agreed, Treespryt. The concepts that Amy should just cancel her committment is sexist and dishonorable, and financially, a loss.

If all the kids HAVE to attend a trip Matt has planned, without checking his wife's schedule, then let him deliver that order (not that it is one I agree with).

A male viewer friend of mine said recently that, altho he can find Amy negative, if he had a wife who had been doing the grocery shopping since Adam was a pup, he would not go out and buy 10 bags of groceries, without asking "what do we need" and then expect a pat on the back for it. Matt gets into this "poor me" a lot when he does such as that.

Who needs angry, sullen teenagers on a trip? It's just as well they stayed home. Too bad Molly allowed herself to be influenced by her bitter brother.

Doesn't Zach have any friends of his own?

quote:

Originally posted by sideliner:
Who needs angry, sullen teenagers on a trip? It's just as well they stayed home. Too bad Molly allowed herself to be influenced by her bitter brother.

Doesn't Zach have any friends of his own?

He seems to have friends of his own when he attends LP conventions, and has had them to visit in Oregon from time to time.
I may be mistaken, but a LP in the very small
school where he's been all his life might have difficulty finding a lot of friends..Jeremy is friends with a group..and he's been tagging along with them like forever, it seems. It would appear that he doesn't feel as much 'a part' now that school's about to end.

IMHO, Amy should have kept her engagement and told the kids to go on without her and to have a good time with their dad. Amy just can't bring herself to support her husband; she chose to encourage a rift instead of unity. Way to go Amy! Even though it would have been best to have scheduled the trip when Amy was available, I was glad Matt went on ahead. His time for travel is nearing its end. Its a shame this family is not supportive.

quote:

Originally posted by Hisown:
IMHO, Amy should have kept her engagement and told the kids to go on without her and to have a good time with their dad. Amy just can't bring herself to support her husband; she chose to encourage a rift instead of unity. Way to go Amy! Even though it would have been best to have scheduled the trip when Amy was available, I was glad Matt went on ahead. His time for travel is nearing its end. Its a shame this family is not supportive.

I agree. Amy will end up destroying her kids if this doesn't stop. I grew up in this kind of household.

I don't understand why Amy made this worse than it had to be. Yes, it was unfortunate, but plans had been made and paid for, and there was no going back. I've seen Matt be very supportive of Amy when she took a vacation without him, so I don't understand why Amy could not show Matt the same support. It ended with the family being divided and Matt, Jeremy and Jacob going on a vacation when they knew the rest of the family was home feeling upset. It didn't have to be this way.

It appears that Matt is the supportive and affectionate one. Amy is... well, seemingly more needful of her children's affection and the admiration of others than a harmonious, supportive marriage. ( not that Matt doesn't have room for improvement LOL, but then again, don't we all? )