I probably should have posted this in the "multiples" forum, but I figured more people probably read these threads. I have two year old twin girls...who are almost completely out of control. They do not listen to anybody...they throw their food, scream at the top of their lungs for no reason, take off their diapers, throw tantrums constantly, hit, bite, climb out of their cribs, and just repeatedly do things that they know good and well they're not supposed to do. I know some of you are probably thinking..."welcome to motherhood"...but it is just so frustrating because it seems as though other couples we know who have children the same age do not have these problems. I don't know if its just a twin thing or if I need to change something I'm doing. There's nothing "weird" going on in their lives...they have a great family and there's so much love in our home. Some people say that maybe we aren't being consistent with our rules...but we've had the same rules for 2 and a half years now...when are they supposed to finally understand them? They know when they are doing something wrong...because they'll go hide when they do it or look at us like "haha look what i'm doing." We've tried spanking, which doesn't work...and frankly I'm glad cause I'm totally uncomfortable with spanking my children. I don't believe that any child should be hit by anyone...especially their parents. They are just being children, and there are equally effective ways of getting through to them in my opinion. Time out did not work for them...they are up and out of the chair before I can even turn around. The most frustrating part of it all is the fact that the other children we are around seem to never act like they're even in a bad mood...let alone throwing temper tantrums or biting. It seems as though my girls are constantly crying about something...kicking, screaming, the whole nine yards. While other 2 yr olds just sit quietly and look at them like they're weird or something. I have a niece who is around 2 yrs old, and it's almost abnormal how well behaved she is. If she is told "no don't do that" or "no no don't touch"....she just stops whatever she was doing like "oh i'm sorry I forgot." And forgets about it. While with mine, they will keep doing it and keep doing it until someone has to go and pull them away, kicking and screaming. I am so frustrated!! It wouldnt' be so frustrating if the other kids in our circle of friends acted like normal 2 yr olds and threw a fit once in a while!! We have actually not been invited to certain things because of the way they act. It's almost impossible to take them to anyone else's house...we have to follow them around the whole time making sure they don't terrorize everything. They CANNOT keep their hands off of ANYTHING. I've had to postpone potty training because every time we go into the bathroom all they want to do is start ripping off all the toilet paper, get into the garbage can, put their hands in the toilet water (yuck), squeeze all the shampoo out of the bottles...I could go on and on. I can't even allow them to go into the bathroom period much less potty train them. I know I should not compare them to other children as all kids are different, but couldn't there be something I could do to help them calm down just a little??

Bless your heart. I have to say that I smiled when I read your post. I know that this doesn't make you smile though. Our 16 1/2 month old son likes to throw him food on the floor. He'll play a game w/ food or his spoon/fork. He'll act like he's going to drop it, to get a reaction from us. He'll smile after we shake our head no, he he puts his food back on his tray, we'll shake our head yes, & he laughs.

I would think by 2+ years they would be able to understand an award system. I would try putting up a star award system & let them put their stars up, ask them to help w/n reason determine their prize. I don't believe in spanking either, but if it's necessary I'll do it. I have a nephew now age 10 & he was like your daughters...NOTHING worked. But once he saw a star chart for good behavior, things started changing for my sister.

I used to counsel mostly children & "star" charts really seem to work. Good luck. I'm sure it will get better.

Thanks! I'll have to give it a try!!

Have you spoken to their pediatrician? You might want to rule out things like food allergies or sensory issues.

I just wanted to say I realy fell for you, I have a 2 1/2 year old son who is a lot like that that to he has a bad problem with hiting and kicking us. We are still trying to find solutions also. So don't think you are all alone out there. If I find any thing that works I will sure let you know and if you find any thing that workes then if you could please let me know that would be great.

yes that would be great...and i'll definitely let you know also

As a mother of two small children myself(ages 3 1/2 and 1 1/2) I definatley feel your pain.

My oldest is extremley stubborn and argumentative. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that a lot the time he does the things that he does purley for a reaction. I'm not saying that this makes his undesirable behavior and less annoying or even acceptable. There have been MANY days where I have wanted to curl into a ball and cry because of it.

That being said I'll just share a little of what has worked with him in the hopes that it will help your situation. I wouldn't stress the fact that your little ones won't stay in a time out. They are still really young and since children develop at different rates I think it would be unfair to just assume that they can understand the point the naughty chair is supposed to make. I believe that you need to learn what your children value and go from there. Do they have a favorite toy? Well if they are doing something bad, take the toy away , tell them why you took it away (in terms they can understand) and don't give it back until you feel that it's appropriate. That may mean 5 minutes or 5 hours. This always gets my son's attention and works.

Another thing that I do instead of spanking is get down on my knees in front of my child and hold both of his wrists in front of him and tell him calmly and firmly what I am upset about and my expectations of him. I do not let him go until he has listened and appologized. Let me stress that I DO NOT hurt him at all, I just force him to pay attention to me and what I am saying and this always works. It usually last no more than a minute and it's definatly better than getting angry and striking your child, which I have done and it made me feel so terrible about myself.

I hope this helps! Good luck and know you are not alone.