HELP! My 3.5 year old son has suddenly started waking up several times during the night. We kind of went through this a few months ago. It has gotten better, but now it is worse than before. Every night this week, he has woken up at least three times. Last night he woke up at 12am and didn't fall back asleep until almost 3am. He usually says that he has had a bad dream, but then when I put him back to bed, he is up in 20 minutes with a "bad dream" again.

He does sleep in his own room. It is across the hall from Dad and I's room. We leave both doors open, and the light on in the kitchen. Last night I thought it might be too dark, so I turned on his night light, well, then the night light was too bright and he couldn't fall back asleep. So I moved the night light to the hall. Much better. Put him down again, 15 minutes later he is back next to my bed. I finally ended up letting him get in bed with me and when he fell asleep, put him back in his own bed.

I don't sleep well when he is in bed with us. So I usually wait until he is asleep and then bring him back to his own bed, but that means that I have to stay awake until he passes out. We have been living in this house since he was 6 months old, and he has always slept in his own room. We do stay at my parent's house quite often, and he and I sleep in the same room so I don't know if this is affecting him.

I just don't know what to do. I'm tired. I started to make him a pallet on the floor and let him sleep in our room, but I don't want to start that. Any ideas would be great! I don't really know that he is actually having bad dreams or if he is just saying this because he knows that I will cuddle.

Sorry that this is so long. I just don't know how much longer I can do this. It isn't like when he was a baby and needed to eat...I am just frustrated!

Hi,

Does he wake up crying, or just comes into your room and says he had a bad dream? Does he nap during the day?

When you take him back to his room, does he give you a hard time, like crying and stuff like that.. Or has his life style or routine changed much in the past few months... Sorry this wasn't much help, just trying to get a better understanding!!

He doesn't wake up crying. He just appears next to my bed saying that he has had a bad dream. Sometimes I bring him right back to bed and sometimes I let him climb in a fall asleep with us then move him.

He does take an afternoon nap usually between 1:30 and 2:30pm depending upon which time he wakes up in the morning. He usually sleeps 1.5-2 hours. I have tried not letting him take a nap thinking that he might be a little restless at night because he isn't tired. But he will just fall asleep playing so that doesn't work either.

If he is asleep when I bring him back to his own bed, he usually doesn't give me a hard time. If he stirs I just tell him that it is time for him to go back to his own bed, but that he can back if he wakes up again. If I bring him straight back to bed, he will give me a hard time. Not really crying, just saying that he doesn't want to sleep in his room alone.

The only thing that has changed is his bedtime routine. We have extended it so that he can have a little bit more time with Dad at night. About 30 minutes before he goes to sleep, he and Dad lay down together in our bed, then we put him to bed. Sometimes he falls asleep with Dad. Then he and Dad both go to sleep, in their respective rooms of course. I usually stay awake a little longer because it is the only time that I really get to relax.

I don't know that he is really having bad dreams because in the morning he usually says that he didn't have any. But maybe he just doesn't remember.

Here's a few suggestions be ped gave me for Jake (obviously he's older...but it should still work).

Make or buy them a stuff animal to "protect" them at night. All four of my kids have little bears my mil made them with armor and swords. (It's soft so it won't hurt them, but scary enough looking that it would "kill" in monsters in thier dreams.)

For boys, let them pick out pajamas with thier favorite super hero, then talk about how the super hero on thier pjs is going to protect them from all the bad dreams.

Place family photos on thier dresser where they can see them. Sometimes just being reminded that Mom and Dad are close by helps.

Try an Native American Dream Catcher, explain to your child what the Indians believe about these items, how they "catch" all the bad dreams and allow the good dreams to slip through. Then hang it above thier bed.

Limit sweets and cafene about 5 hours before bed. I don't allow my kids to have sweets after lunch...we might have cookies or something in the morning...but not at night.

Limit TV/video games right before bed. Sometimes the over-stimulations causes the dreams.

And my favorite....have them tell you about thier bad dream and then help them rewrite the ending so they "kill" or "defeat" the monster or bad guy at the end of the dream. For example if the boogie man is chasing my 7 yr old, we pretend that he set a trap and captured the boogie man and taught him how to be nice to little kids instead of scaring them.

I hope this helps. I know what it feels like to be up every night with a child. Hopefully some of these ideas will help.

You may be making the problem worse by allowing him to fall asleep completely in your bed, then carrying him to his own bed while he's sleeping. It's normal to wake lightly between sleep cycles and something unexpected (like finding yourself in a different place than where you fell asleep) is enough to jar you awake.

Try to set a limit for snuggle time in your bed and then take him (awake) back to his and help him fall asleep there.

Since he's old enough to comprehend, you may also want to try to add some positive reinforcement for falling asleep in his own bed. Find something that motivates him like a brand of cereal you wouldn't normally buy. Decide on a goal (maybe falling asleep in his own bed to start and eventually working your way up to staying in his bed all night and not waking you up) and then each morning, if he met his nighttime goal, give him the special cereal.

Jefreckle: Thanks for the suggestions. I'm going to try a few of them and see what happens. I like the idea of rewriting the dream, I know I used to do that as a kid, so I do think that will work.

Cekack: I never thought about that, but you are probably right. But it definitely makes sense, I mean when he was a baby, we never let him fall asleep in bed with us. I am going to limit the snuggle time so that he is awake.

This weekend was better. We stayed at my parents house (I worked the day shift) and he slept in my room with me. He did get up and climb in bed with me, but he didn't wake me up and he didn't have any bad dreams. I wasn't sure if he has really been having bad dreams, but he told me yesterday morning "the hand didn't come and get me" so I think he really is.

My Dad told him the scripture that we used to say when we were kids. "Fear Not! For God is with me." And that helped too. Last night he only woke up once, and he didn't have any bad dreams. He just woke up and climbed in bed. I did move him back to his bed when he was almost asleep and he told me "good night" when I put him down.

I am really going to pay attention to the sugar that he is getting in the afternoon. He usually has juice with supper, but it is only 4ozs. BUT Dad tends to slip him a snack after supper (like fruit snacks or a cookie) so we are going to work on that.

Thanks you guys. I know that is isn't unsual for a toddler to suddenly start waking up during the night, but it is still hard. I appreciate the suggestion, sometimes it is hard to think up solutions when you are the one losing sleep. Thanks again.