I am 20 y.o and in my past relationships I have been cheated on. Well about 2 years ago I met a man who asked my to marry him. We are engaged and recently moved 2 states away from all my family and friends so that he could attend school. We recently got jobs, and have $, but havent gone out since we have been here b/c we havent had $. Well that was 4 mo. ago and we argue constantly. I am confused, depressed, I always mostly start the arguments about accusing him of cheating, cleaning up, helping around the house, and being more loveing towards me. But mostly its my insecurity. I stopped smoking when we met and gained a lot of weight. I feel that he doenst love me, care about me, and that he doesnt want me here. But he still says "I love you." Well last friday he went out for the 1st time with a friend. He got home at 4 am (left at 9) and lied to me about where he had been. Finally he told me sat. that he went to the club, had fun, then worried about what he was going to tell me when he got home. Then he went to work saturday told me he got off at 6:30 and for me to pick him up. Well I went to pick him up and his boss said that he left at 5. On my way home he called and said he was at home. When I got home I asked where he was and his reply was he left at 5:30 went to starbucks with a guy friend. Thats 2 lies in 1 day. He has never lied to me before. And I asked him if he felt bad for lying to me and he said NO. That HURT. Does he really feel bad but doesnt want to tell me he does? I know deep down he wont cheat but if I keep on accusing him I believe I will push him toward it. This is the 1st time he has gone out since we have moved, but he didnt have to lie. I love and care for him, but Im confused. I want to work things out, I need to trust him, and live day by day. Can anyone give my some advice? PLEASE

I've been with my husband 8 years he lied the first year we were together he promised he would never do it again. everyso often I find little things that he lies about and I told him if he lies about little things he will never be able to tell me if something big happens I told him if he lied again I couldn't stay. recently he didwhen I talked to him about it he lied 3 times during the one conversation. If you dont have kids I say leave him you can find better he will just keep lying. I wish you the best.

Honey you are 20 years old..Leave that loser go home, start exercising and lose the weight that you feel so bad about and live your life. You are too young to be wasting time on a man you can't include you in things that he does and he has no business at a club if he can't tell you about it...And at your age you have your whole life ahead of you...Go to school get a degree be proud of yourself and stop waiting for him....I am sure your family loves you and would be very supportive for you..All the best to you.

Hello~ (this is long...sorry)
I do not believe that you need to leave him right now. He loves you, wants to marry you. Yes you seem to be insecure about some things, which is understandable with gaining weight...but he still says he loves you. First thing you need to deal with is yourself ~ become more secure. since you are in a new town (i got from your message) go out and find something for yourself..a hobby of some sort...which will also help you loose weight maybe..and now that you have a new lung capacity from quitting smoking..good for you! Now about the guy...he only went out once...as long as he didnt' cheat on you, he should have no shame in going out and having fun..and you should encourage him to have his own life and have fun without you also. Why would he think he had to explain himself to you? Have you gotten mad in the past about him going out without you? This isn't healthy...so encourage him to do so, as long as he's not cheating. Confront him and tell him that the fights are not about him...more about you and being insecure, and your worried he is lying to you. As of now he doesn't sound like a loser...girl I have been through farrrr worse. Talk to him and get out yourself, and do not get mad at him for going out. But tell him you know he's lying and he needs to be honest. That's a lot for one reply!! haha good luck

It is not comfortable and you KNOW this relationship is not right! You will do both of you a favor when you leave. If not, it will eventually be him to leave. Not right and true is not right and true. Look in your heart, if you are in pain now with this relationship, you will be in the future. I know it hurts, but go , heal, and get yourself ready for something that can be wonderful!!!