I think that Mady has Kate wrapped around all 10 of her fingers. Mady has absolutely no consequences to her actions most of the time when Kate is dealing with her. Mady's behavior is progressivley getting worse. Mady has some anger and jealousy issues with all of her siblings. Yet Kate continually makes excuese for Mady's disrespectful, rude and violent behavior. Kate enables Mady's behavior by not disciplining her when she is disrespectful, rude and violent. Mady is setting a horrible example for her siblings. She continually hits her sibling on a daily basis. The other 7 children see that there are no consequences for Mady's actions so they do not learn appropriate behaviors.

On one show Mady came home from school the day of her birthday and kicked balloons out of the way and Kate said "she just needs to come home from and school, get some quiet time and she will be fine; I know deep down she really appreciates it" and did not say one word to her. Ignoring Mady may have eventually calmed her down but did not teach her appropriate behavior or get rid of the inappropriate behaviors. Her behavior is getting worse in public. Cara always has to back down to Mady's desires. Like the time Jon and Kate took Mady and Cara to the American Girl store for their birthdays. When Mady was ranting and raving in the store and was struggling with the event, Kate should have taken her off to the side and explained that her behavior was inappropriate and if she did not want to behave she would not get to participate. If Mady continued the disrespectful and rude behavior one of them should have taken her home immediately while the other parent stayed with Cara. Kate is definitely the enabler in these situations.

Unfortunately, time-outs are used only to calm the situation not get rid of the problems. Time-outs are supposed to be used to get rid of the inappopriate behaviors. But in Jon and Kate's household lessons are not learned and the inappropriate behaviors continue all day long.

I agree with Jon when he says Kate does not discipline her children. She is so busy organizing things that she does not have time to deal with the kids on a higher level. So much of her time is spent organizing and preparing for the day. The camera crew has become her babysitter for the day. I think that Kate should seek the help of Nanny 911. Nanny 911 will get rid of Mady's disrespectul, rude and violent behavior before it escalates way out of control and their house will be peaceful.

I am a firm believer of removing a child who is not behaving from the event or situation once they have been warned and given the "choice" to behave or not to behave. Once the child has been warned of the consequences if he/she continues the inappropriate behavior there should be no 2nd chances. The child will learn real quick how to behave and what is acceptable behavior and what is not acceptable behavior. Kate you need to raise the standard bar for behavior.

Good Luck !

First of all, I will agree that Mady could use a bit more discipline, in whatever way works for her. Each child is different, and may require a different form of punishment that works for them. I won't go into what is and isn't right in regards to punishment, that's up to the parent to decide if they choose to use logic, reason, confiscation of priviledges, spanking, etc. Each parent has different convictions as to what is right and wrong.

At the very least, you have to pull a child aside EVERY single time they exhibit that behavior and let them know that it is NOT acceptable. You can't let it go untended to.

But...let's get real here. This isn't an "easy" family. I have 2 children ages 4 months and 13 years (big gap!), and sometimes I let stuff slide if I'm tired or busy, even though I try my hardest not to. I could NOT imagine being on top of it 24 hours a day with 8 children!

Give her a break! If she had 2 kids then it would be easier to pick apart everything she does...but she doesn't. She has 8. There is NO way to do everything right all the time when you are that busy. Even with help. There's always cooking, laundry, house cleaning, time with the husband, etc. to have to deal with on top of watching 8 kids all of the time. It's a wonder she doesn't fall over from exhaustion!

Oh and I forgot to sum up what I meant to say in all of that.

Yes, Mady is difficult and needs someone to get firm with her.

That doesn't make Kate any less of a parent. She's a very good and loving parent.

quote:

Originally posted by destasage:
Oh and I forgot to sum up what I meant to say in all of that.

Yes, Mady is difficult and needs someone to get firm with her.

That doesn't make Kate any less of a parent. She's a very good and loving parent.

You totally missed my point. I was merely pointing out that Kate punishes her other children for misbehavior, but lets Mady get away with quite a bit which is going to lead to major problems if she doesn't do something quickly. You say that "someone" needs to be firm with her, but that "someone" is Kate since she is the enabler of Mady's disrespectful, rude and violent behavior. I did not say at any point in my message that she does not love her children. I did not say she was a "less" of a parent. I was not telling her how to parent her children, just making some suggestions and giving her some advice. I do not think Kate sees anything wrong with Mady's behavior because as Jon said the other night on one of the episodes "Mady is just like you Kate" which is totally true.

Jon and Kate are on national television and many people make comments and give suggestions. Children like Mady who have no boundaries usually end up with lots of problems as they get older. Mady behaves worse than her six 3 year old siblings and her behavior is getting worse. It is kind of hard to watch the program when Mady is very disruptive on every episode and nothing is done about it.

I have to agree with aek about Mady's attitude. She is a drama queen and the way she talk is not like a primary grade kids'. In the show, mostly she looks unhappy. The only time she looked happy was when they visited the zoo.
I don't know why Mady seeks attention more than everybody else in their family.
If Mady is Kate (which I agree), she will be okay when she gets older. I think Kate is a drama queen as well. But I have say that Kate is very likable and she attracts people (not only she is pretty cute looking girl). If Jon & Kate love Mady, Mady will be okay unless a wrong attention from public will distroy her later years. I mean, she gets gifts after gifts from strangers just because they are on TV whether she acts badly or what.
Yes, Mady's behavior is not acceptable if I were her mother, but we can't forget she has somewhat unusual family and a situation (being on TV) and she may need to explore how to express her feelings. I believe she will get it sometimes in a future. As we see Kate on TV, Mady will be like her and she will be okay.

<quote>I don't know why Mady seeks attention more than everybody else in their family.</quote>

She probably feels like she gets lost in the shuffle. If you watch the episode in which she had the day "alone" with her parents, she was in hog heaven. She went on and on about how she got to do what she wanted, eat something that she could have because the little ones weren't around to covet it, etc.

Kate has mentioned that she feels bad for the older girls because the younger children take so much of her time. Maybe she lets things slide with Mady out of guilt that she can't do as much with her.

Do I think that they need to toughen up on Mady? Yes. Absolutely. Unfortunately, they probably don't have time to also deal with getting to the root of her insecurity as well, and helping her to feel better about herself so she doesn't need to act up as much.

If we're going to mention that Kate seems to play favorites, I'd tend to agree that she tends to favor all of the girls over the boys. Not sure why, she just seems to. Maybe it's just because she relates to them better...who knows?

I remember the episode when Mady kicked the balloons.

I am sure it is hard being in a family with so many siblings. But, that doesn't give a kid a 'free pass' to act out.

I think the parents do a good job with their kids. But, I agree, Mady needs to be reigned in a bit.

Whew--Maddy is a handful. But she'll probably be fine. She's wanting some attention and she's getting however she can. There are times when I think they excuse her behavior too much, but I have to cut them some slack. It's a tough job they're doing. I think any of us would probably be criticized on some level if we were being filmed that much with our children. Nobody's perfect every minute.

Mady is a child. Alomost every child I know is like this. The only children I know that don't act like Mady, are the only child. Mady has to share her parents with 7 other siblings. 6 of those siblings are all under the age of 5 and require extra attention in my opinion. When she had her "special day" and it was only her, Jon & Kate, she was a totally different kid in my opinion.

Mady does need a firm hand. She needs to be taught to recognize that life does not revolve around her. When she kicked those balloons I thought that she should have been diciplined rather than being allowed to go off and watch tv. Now she thinks that kind of behavior is okay. If it were me I would have given her a time out and if she continued to act up I would not have allowed her to part take of the birthday celebration until her attitude was more appropriate. Children need boundries and she doesn't appear to have many because her bad behavior is constant.

quote:

Originally posted by aghlfwh:
Mady does need a firm hand. She needs to be taught to recognize that life does not revolve around her. When she kicked those balloons I thought that she should have been diciplined rather than being allowed to go off and watch tv. Now she thinks that kind of behavior is okay. If it were me I would have given her a time out and if she continued to act up I would not have allowed her to part take of the birthday celebration until her attitude was more appropriate. Children need boundries and she doesn't appear to have many because her bad behavior is constant.

Well, like mother like daughter...Kate is an adult and her behavior at times is akin to Maddy's. JMO

I think kate is a terrible mother. She isnt' running an army, although you would think she is. The other thing is she is so sexist. She does absolutely nothing with the boys, she didn't even go along when it was their day out. Just because she doesnt' like something doesn't mean as a mother you don't have to enjoy it for your children. She pigeon holes these kids, because they are girls they are like this, and enjoy this, and if they are boys they are this way, and will enjoy this??? How sexist can you get? Jon doesn't help either but at least he is willing to enjoy all of the children's activities. Thank goodness Madam Curry, Margaret Thatcher,and Nancy Pelosi to name a few, didn't have Kate Gosselin for their mother.

I think Kate is a loving mother just trying to do the best she can with 8 vibrant, constantly active kids. Yes, Mady needs to be reigned in - but maybe it would be a good idea for Mady to pursue some form of after-school activity where she can shine, without the other kids? If violin did not work out ... maybe more cooking classes or some form of sports, gymnastics, etc? And I love the idea Jon & Kate have of giving each child a "special day" when they can, more of those might help all the kids (even Mady) feel more appreciated. Positive reinforcement for her good qualities & redirection of her negative attitudes would be the route I would take to help Mady better adjust to her role as the years get on. In any case, Mady is a handful, & her behavior will not be improved overnight & certainly not with regular negative parental reactions.

Just my $0.02 worth.

I feel that Kate is doing the best she can under the circumstances which she has been dealt. Yes, Mady is a handful, but I don't really think that a bunch of people on a forum can say how she needs to be dealt with. Raising children is probably the most stressful, most difficult, and least thanking job there is, and until anyone is in her shoes, I don't really think anyone can preach.

I've watched this show plenty (but not obsessively, just here and there) and have NEVER noticed Mady to stand out as such a problem as I have seen here. I guess I missed a couple of episodes where she acted up, but you would think it was EVERY episode, and I have not seen anything like what is described here. Every time I watch, I see both twins as very mature and intelligent, and helpful, while still behaving like children, and of course no child is perfect. It really is concerning to me that people would take the time to criticize a child and her mother to the extent I see here.

Yes, they agreed to be on the show, but if any of our families were filmed and shown on TV, how distorted might any random day be? If one of our kids decided to throw a fit that day, I guess people would have to comment that the child needed therapy, medication, and/or we were bad parents because of it. I wonder if everyone making the negative comments is a perfect parent with perfect children? Just wondering. . .

Mady has had numerous meltdowns and my advice would be to calm her down. Her behavior is unacceptable and allowed to continue she will only get more frustrated. Sometimes kids are just trying to push the boundaries and/or gain attention in whatever way they can. I know it's hard but each kid needs to have as much attention as possible. All of the hitting is inappropriate as well. A kid needs to feel safe and not have to worry about getting clobbered.

Why is such a big deal made about the fact that Kate has to "deal" with all this stuff...she has nannies, house helpers, and various other people helping with lots of the aspects of her life that the rest of us dont have. I would have gotten my hiney beaten if I every dared to act like that.

Has anyone thought that part of it may be the fact that her friends at school probably see all this junk? That they see her parents calling them stupid, that the see their parents mocking them? That can't be easy.

I think Kate's a great parent.. I wish my mom would've been more like her. She obviously loves all of her children and I think she knows them best out of everyone here and knows how to handle them. Everyone has different parenting skills and different ways of handling situations, one is not necessarily worse than another. After reading some of these topics on this forum.. I think a lot of people don't keep in mind that we do not see all of their life and can't accurately judge them in their life... not that we should even be judging in the first place though.

I'm not the type to post on any website but when I saw that AOL had a site voting on Kate's parental and spousal skills - that made me mad! No parent is perfect ... kids (nor husbands) come with a manual. Everyone works out the way that works best for their family. Being the youngest of eight (not multiples,) I think Kate and Jon are both doing a great job. I congratulate them and admire them for their fortitude and courage! And I was tickled to see that Jon shares my b-day! (He's many years younger!) We April Fools kids are the most fabulous!

Im gonna say it but Mady is the brat out of the punch. She thinks the world revolves are her and she needs to be the center of attention. That kind of behavior should be stopped before, she gets older. Should Kate up the discipline on her? Sure.

quote:

Originally posted by Skyesmom76:
Im gonna say it but Mady is the brat out of the punch. She thinks the world revolves are her and she needs to be the center of attention.

I am sure she is learning that behavior from somewhere...

I have tried so hard to be a champion for Kate's behavior and try to understand why she does what she does but yesterday I just couldn't do it anymore. She left Collin(and we all know the feelings for him) sitting on the potty for who knows how long and then turned the lights out and left him sitting there. First of all that was unconsionable. I cannot understand that to save my life. I just wondered had she forgotten him. These children are so obedient, he did not even try to get up. It reminded me of Jon,(even though Jon can stand up for himself if he would man up and do it) just broken down and not even trying to say hey, I just don't have to go yet. She gives the boys a drink and then waits for them to go, DUH!!! I also wonder what is up with the cameramen. This is a 3 year old child. Give him a little privacy and let him have a little dignity. Sorry, I didn't realize just how upset I was. Okay, the next thing Kate is sitting right in the middle of all of the kids and Mady just whomps (I think it was Alexis) and she cries and goes to Kate who is right there and she just says blah, blah, same old thing. Da, da, da, if that had been a 3 year old no discussion straight to time out. Kate and Jon are in for a big, big suprise as the years go by... little kids grow up and become adults who are able to think for themselves and watch dvds and ask mom and dad why did such and such happen this way. The dynamics in this family are the reasons parents and children fall out and never see each other again. Like at the birthday party for wee ones when Mady starts no I don't like it blah, blah. Instead of talking in her ear and trying to get her to shut up why not put her in time out with a bible to read about begating and letting her see the lord meant for these children to be here by whatever means it took. These children were supposed to be here or they wouldn't be. Wow, Mady is a trip. Her behavior is what her mother and father have made it to be. So sad. She can be a lovely little girl. Mom and dad please wake up.

I'm curious about how all of this is affecting Mady's interpersonal skills. I am NOT a professional, nor am I even a parent, but there are a few things that have caught my attention recently.

One of the episodes...where the girls were just getting out of school (maybe the one with the window coverings fiasco??? idk), they mentioned that Mady was a math whiz, but couldn't wait to leave school. Yet Cara didn't want to leave school because of her friends. Mady is, uhhmmmm, maybe a bit of the 'black sheep', per se, of the family...though I hate putting it that way! So, she doesn't have close friendships at school either, away from the mayhem and cameras??? Maybe one of you who are knowledgeable can shed light on this for me...

Also, That episode last night where they visited the hospital the tups were born in, I noticed another incident where Mady's poor behavior was ignored. She pushed or pulled hair of one of the lil girls and J/K yelled at the little one about babies sleeping...no reprimand for Mady! I adore Mady, I think she is wonderful...I just hope they save some of their money to pay for her therapy.....