Til Death Do Us Part Review

I picked up this book on our last trip to the library, interested in both the real-life case studies and analysis. I was heartily disappointed in the analyses and can only guess at what Robi Ludwig's doctorate degree is in. I myself have three college degrees and my husband has two. I gave up a six-figure income to educate our children at home, so our family roles are pretty traditional. I only say this because I am usually the last to use the term `sexist' when referring to anyone lest someone shoot down my own lifestyle choices. That being said, Dr. Ludwig's analysis at the end of each chapter is incredibly and terminally sexist. In the cases involving wives who killed their husbands, husbands who cheated on them and took everything from them including their homes and children, she blames the wife. In the cases involving husbands who raped, beat, and then murdered their wives, she also blames the wife. In fact, at the end of each chapter, she finds ways to blame the wives. It's a frightening prospect that every woman on the planet seems to have the `borderline personality disorder' she speaks of and drive any man to murder her or drive her to kill her man. In fact, borderline personality disorder is much rarer than Dr. Ludwig proposes and, does not necessarily result in spousal death.

If you're interested in checking out the real-life cases of spousal murder, I suggest you search online or borrow this book from the library, read the cases, and ignore the analyses at the end of each chapter. In this century, it is truly sad when a woman blames women for all the ills of the world. I can't imagine anything that Laci Petersen could possibly have done to deserve to have her life and the life of her unborn child taken so violently by her narcissistic husband, but Dr. Ludwig would have you think otherwise. Any woman, including Dr. Ludwig, who proposes that these women `had it coming to them', is perpetuating the ideal that it's okay to kill your wife and if your wife kills you in self-defense, she's to blame for that too. Dr. Ludwig sees all through the sexist eyes of a man.

One of the cases that fascinated me most was made into a TV episode of `Law and Order: Criminal Intent'--the case of Robert and Gail Bierenbaum. This man completely controlled his wife's life until he finally killed her and dumped her remains from a plane he piloted over the Atlantic Ocean. Dr. Ludwig again blames the wife: "Robert became the unfortunate target of Gail's chronic and persistent upset and inability to feel good about herself." Well Dr. Ludwig, of course she was upset, her husband controlled every penny, whether she was allowed to leave their home, what color her hair was, and every other minute detail of her life. That's a horrible way to live. When she tried to leave, he killed her. According to Dr. Ludwig, though: "Gail stepped over the line when she threatened Robert's professional existence...He knew Gail wanted to leave him...Gail had embarked on an unconscious suicide mission." It is utterly stupid of Dr. Ludwig to pin this on the poor wife. It's also disturbing that she absolves men of the crimes they commit, blaming the mother/child relationship they experienced as children, this time blaming the mother: "Abusive husbands need to feel good about themselves...The origins for this need lie in the mother/infant or young child relationship." What's more disturbing is that Dr. Ludwig herself maintains two full-time jobs as a psychotherapist and journalist, leaving her children in the care of strangers, then claims she has the ultimate marriage. Apparently, she didn't read her own book or she'd know that, according to her own theories, each of her children is already forming into a spousal killer based on their lack of a strong mother/child relationship. Personally, I'm wondering how much she paid for her degree--she should get a refund.

Another review from Amazon.com:

SHE DOESN'T HAVE A CLUE, April 20, 2006 Reviewer:G. Davidson "A Big Fan" (San Francisco, CA)

This book is an example of how desperate publishers can be if they think they can make a sale. I am friends with Betty Broderick, a subject of the book, and I know a lot about her personality and her history. To claim that Betty was "stalking" her former husband is a clear indication that Ludwig doesn't have a CLUE what she's talking about -- she never met Betty or interviewed her, even long-distance! Don't waste your money on this piece of trash (or the book, either). Some people in prison were the victims of AWFUL circumstances, and to minimize the suffering that lead to their incarceration only adds to the suffering. Shame on everyone connected with this waste of otherwise good paper!

Another review from Amazon.com:

Wannabe, April 8, 2006 Reviewer: Rick K

Probably the only person who was thrilled that the Minister was killed by his wife was Ludwig, as it coincided with the release of this book. This of course led to more TV time to promote it. That sales are stil dismal, despite that good luck, tells you just how awful this book is. Ludwig is a wannabe expert with pulled from the sky theories and makes no effort to explain how she reached them. Whatever Ludwig pays her agent it isnt enough as no one with such mediocre talent gets on more shows than her. I want my money back.

Another review from Amazon.com:

Disappointing, April 5, 2006 Reviewer:Josh K

First of all I cant help thinking whenever I hear Ludwig on TV that she logged off the internet 5 mins before airtime and is now telling us her newly learned theories. I get the same feeling from reading this book. Alot of her writing seems like guesswork and speculation and I have to wonder how many spousal murderers she has actually spoken with. High powered friends King and Grace add some name recognition to help sell some copies. It would be interesting to see what someone more qualified, like a psychiatrist, would write on this subject instead of a cable TV hack like Ludwig.