Hi, I have been married to a great man for the past twenty years, he has worked hard for us, mainly nights. I also worked long hours outside the home with four children we were raising. As you can imagine things were hectic raising them and we have had little alone time together. 3 years ago our 16-year-old son died in a car accident. My husband and I have been grieving intensely, while still trying to take care of the younger three. We have both been dealing with depression and I felt that my husband has totally withdrawn from me. I really forced the issue this summer because I was so lonely. Recently he told me that he didn't know if he wanted our relationship to continue. He told me he has no feelings for anything at all. I know I have hurt him and am trying to show him how important he is to me. I don't want him to be unhappy and I don't know what to do. We have had our ups and downs but I always thought he loved me. Please help me, us. Thanks

Have you both been in grief counseling these last three years? Any marital counseling (MC)? Sounds like you both put your children in the first priority spot and then your marriage in your second one...would that be accurate?

How do you know you've hurt him?

Have you read all the articles here on this website? About The Love Bank (which can run empty like we have no feelings at all...when we do), Emotional Needs (ENs), Love Busters (LBs) which make withdrawals from the love bank to the tune of about one LB wiping out 20 EN deposits...and The Four Rules of Marriage? But, the best is Dr. Max's Marriage Blueprint It’s the only marriage counseling method that includes men in the counseling as equal partners in the marriage.

I know you can do it.

You're not alone.