My wife and I have been together for 12 years and married for 5. Apparently she fell out of love for me even before we got married, but we are such good friends and have such a wonderful relationship aside from that, that she though it would be enough. Wrong. She has been having an affair for the last two months! I found out a month ago and we are in counseling, but she has not cut things off with him completely. She says that she loves him and that she has not felt the love for me for years. She has no hope that she can love me again. Does anyone know how I can convince her or help to realize that love can be re-built? If she had some hope she might be motivated to try. For now, she is not sure what to do, but I believe she is heading his way...not mine. Please give me any pointers/ideas you might have. Thank you

Hi there,
I really feel for both of you. I am 46 years old, have been married for 23. We both had difficult times in the past and because we both come from divorced family's we decided to work on every problem we have. It is too easy to get divorced these days, and the only advice I could think is to hang in..........some times it's a phase and it might go away. Maybe tell your spouse that they can go ahead and be free to make up their minds. Sometimes after living with another person they find all things that they do not agree with. There's a difference in having an affair and living with that person. They might come to their senses and realize that the grass is only greener on the other side because there is more sh....t there. Same thing happened to my parent’s years ago and my mom said that she should have hung in for a little longer. So may be do not push for the relationship to work, but give them space to realize what it is that they want. I suggest you to go for Marriage Counseling and the best option : Dr. Max's Marriage Blueprint www.marriageblueprint.com Dr. Max Vogt Ph.D. in Psychology and Expert Couples Counselor. I really hope both of you will find peace in whatever the outcome might be. I will follow the conversations.
Good luck!!!!!