Well my husband and I have been together off and on for about a year now. He used to live in the same state that I live in, but he got forced to move to another state. He has come back to visit me though but he has only been gone for about a month now. But anyways.. We have an off and on again relationship, and right now we are off again. He's up here visiting and he leaves tomorrow morning, but in the time that he was up here things between us were just kind of bad most of the time and it was mostly my fault. We are broken up right now and when I talked to him about it and getting back together he says that he really wants to still be committed to each other but wants to work everything out and just work on our relationship before we get back together again so everything can be close to perfect. Well the way he acts towards me just seems a bit different to me now, one second he'll be all over me and the next he won't. He used to be all over me all the time and all cute and lovely and stuff, but now he just seems so distant and I hate it. It sometimes seems like he's sending me mixed signals and stuff. But anyways his ex-girlfriend has always tried breaking us up and still loves him. Well before in our relationship I didn't really believe anything she told me and I always beloved my man. Well she's starting to try and get him back again and yeah her and him still talk, not that much, actually I don't even know how often they talk anymore. =/ Or what they talk about I mean I don't care if they are friends but now I really don't know anything. She tells me all this stuff on how much he loves her and he doesn't love just all this stuff and me anymore. I talked/asked my man about it and he just got all irritated because we go through this a lot and every time he has always been right, but now I don't know anymore. He told me that he loves me and only me and if he really wanted to be with her then he would and be strait up with me, but he says he doesn't. He says that she's always trying to text and call him and stuff and it's true, she is and when I'm there he doesn't answer anything from her, but how do I know that he doesn't call her back or anything when I leave? He is always usually strait up with me no matter what and he has never cheated on anyone before. But now I really don't know. It seems like everything is changing and I'm so scared. He tells me not to be scared and I have nothing to worry about and that nothing is changing between us because he still loves me. But how do I really know that when everything including him is changing? I mean he still sits down and talks with me and tells me some pretty deep stuff and I know with all my heart he loves me. I've already tried the whole leave him and if he comes back thing, There's been times where he's even cried. I love him so much! I'm in love with him. But with everything going on now, Who do I believe? How do I know if he's lying to me? I need help! I don't want to get hurt or be played.
Well, I don't know if it will help, but I'll try giving you my perspective on your (apparent) situation. First up; I think it is generally good advice to trust your husband ~ especially given that, as you say, he has never cheated before and tends not to lie to you. Certainly, you should trust him over his jealous ex, or your own irrational fears. For me, this is what it comes down to; is there any actual, objective reason to not trust him? You mentioned that he has changed; that he seems distant. You also mentioned that you were somehow responsible for the troubles you have both experienced in his most recent visit. Speaking for myself, and I am also a young guy in a long-term relationship, when I find myself becoming distant with my partner it almost always means one thing. She has offended or hurt me. I suspect (and I could be wrong) that your guy is of a similar emotional nature to myself ~ in that I, too, am usually very affectionate and forth-coming with my partner. This only changes when, as I said, I feel hurt and (as a result) unable or unwilling to 'lower my walls' to re-connect. This is, however, always a temporary state in our relationship, as it kills me to stay emotionally distant from someone I love so much. My advice? You must understand basic fabric of relationship. I had a similar mentality till I came across “A New Concept In Marriage Counseling” by Dr. Max Vogt , www.marriageblueprint.com It gave me in-depth understanding of relationship and now I hardly have any problem with my partner. PS: what did you mean about the "leave him and if he comes back..." thing? I hope I was able to help you in some way; good luck
