HERES WHAT HE IS LIKE IN THE HOUSE WHEN MY MOM IS NOT HOME AND IT IS JUST ME.
-calm -quiet -well behaved -content in is Kong toy -listens to me extremly well
HERE IS WHAT HE IS LIKE ON THE DOG RUN WHEN MY MOM IS NOT HOME AND ONLY I AM IN THE HOUSE.
-quiet -content on his other toys or digging in his sand pit -calm
HERE IS WHAT HE IS LIKE IN THE HOUSE WHEN MY MOM IS HOME WITH ME.
-nerotic(paceing from one room to the other) -NOT well behaved -does not listen to me -whines somtimes -Doesnt care about his toys -doesnt care about me and only wants atention from her or guests
HERE IS WHAT HE IS LIKE ON THE DOG RUN WHEN MY MOM IS IN THE HOUSE WITH ME.
-barks CONSTENTLY! -whines -paces -pulls on the cord as far as he can stretch out twords the house
He is the best dog you could ever imagin when it is only me home, but he is a whole diffrent dog when my mom comes home.
this is what she does to him,
-spoils him-not just, a spoiled dog with lots of toys and stuff, she spoils him ROTTEN!
-everytime he whines or makes any sort of noise she goes "oh whats the matter baby" then go over and give him a big pet, hug+kisses.
-whenever he is anxious or excited about somthing she will go over to him and tell him"oh buddy, whats the matter babby! calm down calm down-calm down baby, its ok"
-lets him pull on the leash all he wants until her arm basicly almost falls off.(well, not realy but it just makes her arm hurt)
-gives him attention 24/7
-lets him get away with whatever he wants
-if she tells him to come and he doesnt, she doesnt correct him she just lets it go and thats why i am having so much problems makeing him come when i tell him because she is sending him a diffrent message.
-she treats him like a kid not a dog.
-if he looks at her, alot of time she will say"oh he is hugry going to give him "real" dog food.after he eats. he is on a raw diet, i have told her before, a raw diet is BETTER for them than dog food. and you cant just have them a raw and then 2 minutes after he eats it give him a totaly diffrent.
i keep telling her that she needs to treat him diffrent and not like a kid and actuly give him some rules and make him listen to what we say or he is never going to be the dog we want him to be. and her reaspons everytime is " your the one that wanted the dog! he is yours, you train him!!!"
she was been doing this more and more lately.
and he is acting worse and worse. i dont know how to convinse her to stop and that he is not a kid but a dog, and she cant keep treating him like she is or he is going to get worse and worse.
does anyone know what i can do to make her listen to what i have to say insted of always going with what she thinks as she usualy does?
This message has been edited. Last edited by: mypoundpup00133,
mypoundpup, It sounds like you've got some people training as well as dog training to do.
You've got to convince your mom that by spoiling him she is undoing all the good you're doing with your training.
Sit her down and explain to her in a nice way that dogs need (translate to--must have) consistency in their lives or they become confused and unsure of their place in the family. Her constant babying of him is just as unhealthy for him as constant yelling would be.
Be sure you have the discussion as just a casual conversation and not as a confrontation.
Statistics show that parents and kids don't hear past the first 10 words when spoken in anger, but calm conversations are productive and enjoyable to both.
Whenever the opportunity arises; show her the differences in behavior by example. That's sort of a play on the old saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words".
Be sure you have the discussion as just a casual conversation and not as a confrontation.
Statistics show that parents and kids don't hear past the first 10 words when spoken in anger, but calm conversations are productive and enjoyable to both.
realy, well that explains alot. i can never realy talk to my mom. she always asums just because she is the "adult", that everything she says is always right and everything i say always has somthing wrong with it. she never realy wants to listen to any ideas i have or just basicly anything i have to say, espescialy when she has her friends over(alot) and have some of that "soda" for adults.(budwiser) and then i wont even let her walk the dog because she will let go of the leash, she has before, she left the door open right in front of him! if i wasnt there he would have gotten out!
i cant even talk to my mom without ending up yelling.i cant say a word without her finding somthing wrong with it even if she has no idea what i was starting to talk about. nothing is never good enough for her, she thinks that i should know everything at this age. no way no wounder i am getting worse in school is because she pushes me too hard to be the best and somtimes i just crack in the presure. she once treatend to throw my dog out of the house with no collars or leahes just because for the first time i forgot to turn off the computer, thats when i go over to my dads house(yes parents devorced, but they live next door to eachother strange, i know) but when it is just me and her, no friends of hers, she is great and listens to me, but if we agree on somthing, the next day, she argues that we never had the conversation about it!
he is realy bad now. he wont stop crying and whineing in the house and wont listen at all. basicly right now, as you said, everythng i have done with him and all the progrss me and him have made is coming apart. i am going to have to stop it sime how before it all falls apart.
Have you tried starting the conversation with something like "Mom, I need to talk to you. Will you please listen for a moment?". Also, try explaining how you feel. Print out that post and show it to her. You don't have to say anything, just give her the paper. If she still won't listen, try explaining to your dad your problem and what needs to be done. My only other suggestion is to print out a whole bunch of dog training care sheets, and highlight the rules and tips that your mom needs to work on. Then leave them in various places around the house. I still have one more idea, try using the "I have a friend and she has this problem with her Mom" story. Explain your situation but in your point of view on your "friend's" problem. Then ask for suggestions you can give to your friend. When she gives you those suggestions, use them! It might give her a hint.
Parents seem to do that for some reason. That's why so many parent's have problems with "rebellious teenagers". No wonder they're rebellious! Their parent's don't listen to them and still treat them like little kids that can't think for themselves.
And I thought I'd mention that I almost have the same problem. I know way more about dog training and dog psychology than my dad does. So when I try to explain something to him and why his methods don't work, he just says fine, you do it the "right" way then. And I do, and of course it works and then he gets mad because his dog listens to me and not him. Also, my dad thinks of me more than I am. I am not a veterninarian, but my Dad acts and treats me like I am. If one of the dogs or animals get sick, he expects me to diagnosis and treat the animal myself. But I can't, I'm not a vet. Any diagnosis I make could be wrong, and I can't always use people medicine on dogs. you should see my "animal medicine cabinet". It's stocked full of vitamins, calorie and protein supplements, KMR, Sulfodene, medicated shampoos and conditioners, flea and parasite medications, septic powder, anything else that I might have to use. I've even had to give the dog a shot once !
I know exactly what you're talking about. My mom does the same thing with us (even though I'm married and moved out now). Don't know why, but she could say something one day and the next swear she never said it. Hopefully she'll get over it soon. And luckily you have your dad right next door if things get bad. Is he better to talk to?
Well, I could see the problem with your dog. You are the one training, feeding, taking care of him. You are the one setting the rules and correcting him if he disobeys. That puts you as the leader of the pack. Of course he does not say anything when you are around because he wants to act good around the leader. Now..what your mom is doing, spoiling him, not correcting him, giving him attention, grooming him, etc. they are all things that lower ranking dogs do. They are the ones you run up to the higher ranking dogs. The higher ranking dog only needs to "ask" for attention and the lower ranking ones give it to them. That's why you always read about dog behavior and they say to never give in and pet your dog when they come over and nudge your arm. You should pet them when you want to, not when they do.
THen, if he sees your mom as lower ranking in the pack, then of course he would go nuts if he was out in the dog run and she was in the house. The house is the nice place, where the higher ranking dogs should be. Also, he should be taking care of her (like a little sibling I guess you could say), so he freaks out when he can't be by her and watching her. Especially if he knows she's home. Then all of her attention for bad behavior (barking and whining) just encourages him to do it more.
As for making your mom understand this, it's going to be tough. Maybe you could get a video or watch animal planet when they have dogs really behaving and doing good things. Then you can say something like, "doesn't that look good. That dog is so well behaved. Our dog could be like that too." If your mom is also impressed by the dog, she may ask how they got it to be like that and you could explain how everyone in the house has the same rules for the dog, etc. You could also try getting your mom a special present for no reason A dog behavior book like "The Dog Listener" by Jan Fennell. That is the first one talking about why dogs do what they do and how important a pack is to them. Then there is another called "The Practical Dog Listener" which gives you step-by-step methods to use for a month. Maybe giving her a present like that for her own might get her interested. She might see the stories and results as interesting and true.
And like the others have said...maybe you could try talking with her again calmly. Most moms, like mine are quite stressed out and also if you are her only child she might still treat you like you are quite young. But if you pick a good day, where she is in a good mood. Maybe you'll make breakfast for her and then while eating you could begin with something like "I would like to talk seriously with you." or "I have something important I would like to discuss with you." If she starts "complaining" or getting mad or whatever then you should just think about your dog and do whatever you can to stay calm. Then just say to your mom calmly, there's no need to get worked up, or whatever. Hopefully your calmness will rub off on her. Also, showing that you can stay calm and not start yelling like a "rebellious teenager" will help her see that you are more mature and that you are growing and know things.
Maybe you could also convince your dad or something to help you get a dog behaviorist to come over and help with your "issue" about the dog. Make sure your mom is there. Sometimes when they hear it from other people they will listen more...unfortunately.
im glad to see im not the only one with parent problems. i am very lucky to have my dad live right next door, he understands alot more than my mom and will listen if you have somthing to say.
i tried to talk to my mom, this is what she said. that i am the cause of baileys(my dog) behavior. she says that because i correct him when he is bad and i MAKE him listen to what i tell him if he doesnt when i say it, and because i dont let him go and jump all over everone and as she put it "just be a dog".
she is also saying- that bailey being fed raw meat is the other cause of his bad behavior, correct me if im wrong, but a animals diet have nothing to do with its behavior!!!! the buggest way it effects him is it gives him gas! behavior problems do NOT come from his food! she says, that the raw meat s makeing him "wild" and "mis behaved" and "nerotic"
Well, actually diet can affect a dog's behavior. But in your case, no. A raw diet won't affect behavior. My dad has thinks the same way. He doesn't correct trina when she misbehaves and then wonders why she doesn't listen to him! Many adults who lived during the era when dogs were treated like "dogs", like they were kept outside and didn't have toys and stuff like that, don't understand the newer ways of training and the new advances in canine psychology.
Mypoundpup, in order to prove your point in a rational and non-confrontational manner, why not put Bailey back on a good dog food for a while and let her see for herself if his behavior changes? If his behavior doesn't change, you'll have made your point without saying a word.
Changing his food for a month or so won't hurt him in the least; and it's a small price to pay to improve your credibility with your mom!
!
A dog behavior book like "The Dog Listener" by Jan Fennell. That is the first one talking about why dogs do what they do and how important a pack is to them. Then there is another called "The Practical Dog Listener" which gives you step-by-step methods to use for a month. Maybe giving her a present like that for her own might get her interested. She might see the stories and results as interesting and true. 
