Secret Life of a Soccer Mom
Go  |
New |
Find |
|
Reply |
|
Admin |
New PM! |
Member
|
quote: Originally posted by pr0m0m: quote: l
Just want to weigh in on a few points. 1.Yes there are bad SAHM's as well as bad WOHM's however all things being equal a good SAHM is better than a "good" WOHM. When the child is YOURS you LOVE them more. NOWAY does a childcare provider LOVE your child more than you. NO WAY does a childcare provider care more about that child's future than you. NO WAY will that Childcare provider willing throw their body in front of a bus for YOUR child. When you work extremely hard for something you are more invested in the outcome. It is more precious to you and you value and respect it more. 2.I've always wondered how anyone can get ahead financially by both parents working outside of the home and paying for Daycare. Good quality Day care costs a fortune. Isn't one parent basically paying for daycare? Unless one is lucky to have a loving Grandparent or close relative "raise" the child I don't see it. I'd think the Daycares that were "cheap" are basically in the "You get what you pay for" category. If that is where the child will spend the better part of their day, then that is most certainly not equal to staying home with a loving parent.
Well, I guess on what you do and what your salary is... If you work at McDonalds or WalMart as a cashier, you are better off staying at home... But if you spent the time, went to college and got a good job, it is very possible to afford day care... How funny of you to say that a good SAHM is better than a good working mother. Let's start rating ourselves against each other... That is what we do nowadays, I guess? By the way, are you going to homeschool? Because that teacher is not going to teach your children the way you would.  |
| |
|
Member
|
I dont know who is more out of touch the OP or her friend taraj. Please, all this "should" talk is bs and you know it is. I hear it all the time, "wait till you are financially able", um looking at the current times, how does one determine that? And then this comment that made me almost want to lose my lunch " dont say you wont be a SAHM until you looked into your firstborn eyes" (yawn) yeah right, I did look into my firstborn eyes, and you know what I saw a child that needed to have a future, not all this drama club bs some of you are on. The world is changing ladies, its time to get with it or get left behind. How many of you SAHM's have a plan if your man leaves?
|
| |
|
Member
|
quote: Originally posted by taraj:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by silveretta:
I would love to be able to stay home with a child if I could. I would love to be able to be there every step of the way. However, it will never happen for me. It will never be an option, and that is something that I am fully aware of. I didn't say that I wouldn't stay home to raise my children, I said that I wouldn't be able to.
Also, so maybe you can understand, I don't know anyone who has ever been able to have one parent stay home with the children. Even the "richest" and most financially stable people I know... both parents go to work, and always have. Maybe it's just life around where I live... I have no idea. That's what I see around here.
WHAT in the world are you talking about? You are right, I do not understand. What do you mean when you say it will never be an option to be able to stay home with your kids? What do you mean that you know people who could stay home and just don't? I think you are making my point for me....that people who have the means to stay home and raise their own flesh and blood CHOOSE to work instead. WORK IS MORE IMPORTANT. How sad is that, Siveretta?? Seriously. I don't mean to talk down to you. I just want you to realize how important it is to raise your own kids, not have grandma do it. It will all become very clear to you the day you hold your firstborn child. I hope you remember this conversation on that day and make it a priority in your life to move in a direction where you can spend as much time with your babies.
You're the sad one tara. Not becuase you choose to stay at home but because you even have an opinion on what other mothers should do. |
| |
|
Junior Member
|
Some of you out there need to take a chill pill!!! That's fine that some of you have chosen to stay home with your children, but you can't judge others on the decisions that they have made for their own lives.
My mom was a working mother and she raised 4 wonderful children who are now adults and building families of their own. I feel sad for anyone who reads these posts and feels judged because for some reason or another they have to work outside their home to take care of their families. I think those women are the true heroes who deserve our respect!
Also...I read past posts about advice Dr. Laura gave. Anyone listening to Dr. Laura and following her advice should NOT be giving advice to anyone else. She is the most unethical "therapist" I have ever heard and she doesn't even have a real degree!
|
| |
|
Junior Member
|
Im honestly repulsed and disgusted by those who don't think women can't have careers and a family. I may not yet be a mother but i do have one and she has always worked full-time. So has my dad. And them working has never taken away from my childhood nor that of my brothers. They have always been there and even coached our baseball teams and soccer teams....they found time for all of it. I figure skated for 8 years and my mother never missed one of my shows and always was there to watch me practice. Skiing on the weekends all together, family vacations...hell im 23 and we just all went on vacation together in July 07.
Because they both have worked so hard it allowed my dad to retire at 40. After a year he couldn't take being at home 24/7. So he went out and found himself another job.
Both my grandmother and grandfather worked while my dad was growing up......and he became a sucessful business owner and family man. My other grandmother raised her 3 children (my mom being one of then) all by herself while working full-time because her ex husband left her. My mom now has a career and has raised 3 children that are now between the ages of 14 and 23.
You can have you cake and eat it too. I plan to just like my mother and grandmothers did.
And for those to ignorant to believe otherwise you can stay under your rock.
|
| |
|
Member
|
quote: Originally posted by Kim78:
I don't believe we should have it all. At what expense? I fully support women in the workforce but, if that is the decision you make don't have kids that YOU or a partner can't raise.....
And just WHO are you to tell any woman that just because they have children, they shouldn't work? Are you going to tell that to your daughter? Are you seriously going to look her in the eye and tell her, "Sorry, dear, you have your children, so you can't work?" Or your daughter in law (if you have a son)? Personally, I'd laugh in your face. And imho, you'd be the MIL from hell that I'd tell go jump somewhere. I'm a 4th generation working mom and proud of it!! BTW, did it EVER occur to you that your chidren's teachers may well be WORKING MOTHERS? Mine was...for 43 YEARS!!! There is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON why a mother has to give up herself OR her profession. It's a matter of CHOICE, m'dear. And thank GOD! that we've got it. |
| |
|
Member
|
I think the subject of this post is pretty harsh. We are all different. We have different lives, we've made different choices, and what's good for me may not be good for you. My mom was a SAHM and SHE should have invested in birth control because she was a terrible mother. She was actually better when she was working. But hey, she got to stay home with my brothers and completely smother them and make them completely incapable of proper interaction with the outside world and unable to do things for themselves. But she did the right thing by staying home, right?
Being a WOHM does not automatically make someone a bad mother, just like being a SAHM does not automatically make someone a good mother. I have done both, and they are both hard. I was able to stay home from when my oldest was 2 until he was about 4 1/2, when I had to go back to work. At that time, my youngest was almost 2 and it broke my heart to have to take him to daycare because I had been with him his whole life. But I had to do what was best for my family and that was going back to work. Do I regret my decision? Absolutely not. And I still feel that I am a good mom, and that is reinforced every time someone (stranger or relative) compliments my boys on their good behavior and manners, and every time I get an unexpected hug or kiss from one of my sons.
Right after my youngest turned 2, he was old enough to go to the center where his big brother was in pre-k. Let me tell you, they LOVE going to school. My youngest is now 3 and is in the 3's class at the same center, and his big brother is 6, in kindergarten, and at the center in the "mega kids" class after school. They get to experience different ways of doing things, and they get to practice interacting with all different kinds of people, and they are incredibly adaptable. Sure, I wish I could stay home with them more, but we need the money. And yes, a lot of what I make goes to daycare and gas, but the remainder that doesn't is money that we wouldn't have if I stayed at home, and right now that is a necessity. My boys are loved, very much, and they are also getting the chance to grow and experience life away from mom and dad.
I have SAHM friends and I have WOHM friends, and there is nothing but acceptance among us. I mean, really, what's the point of bashing each other? Does it do any good? No, it's a waste of energy. Seriously, it's as pointless as the whole "breast vs bottle" debate. Who cares as long as the baby is getting fed and thriving? And who cares if a mom goes to work or stays home, as long as the kids' needs are met and they are well cared for. My kids are happy and healthy. They are clean, well fed, and they get the freedom to be little boys. I don't feel like SAHMs should "get a job". That is their own personal choice. I know that it's hard to stay home. It's still work, and I know that it can be tedious and isolating. And I know that it can be very rewarding. Having to get up and go to work is no picnic, but I do like the routine we have at home, and my friends at work. It's nice to have grown up conversation. And I've been fortunate to get a really early shift. I leave before the boys are awake, but I get to pick them up early and have lots of time with them in the afternoons and evenings.
But this whole militant SAHM/WOHM stance is ridiculous. And frankly, I don't appreciate the insinuations that because I work out of the home that I am somehow less of a mom, less loving, less caring, less committed. I have no problem with "live and let live" until someone who doesn't even know me judges my life and my choices and tells me that I'm wrong and I'm bad. That's crap. I don't tell you to "cut the apron strings" or whatever. How you raise your kids is your business. Maybe some of the WOHM bashers think that I'm just not trying hard enough to make staying at home a possibility. They'd probably also be ticked that I'm also about to go back to school. Yes, I am doing that to finish my degree and further my career. Is it because work is more important to me than my kids? No, it's because my kids are so important to me that I want to be able to provide more for them, instead of struggling like we have been. Frankly, kids or not, if I didn't have to work I wouldn't. I don't like it much. But since I have to work, I might as well be happy at my job and make a good living. Also, I don't feel like I can insist (or at least strongly encourage) my boys to go to college if I haven't finished it myself.
Anyway, I know the SAHMs who think WOHMs shouldn't be moms are going to pick apart everything I've said and try to turn it against me. Have you noticed it's kind of like religion in that fashion? NOBODY IS RIGHT, NOBODY IS WRONG, and with this debate NOBODY WINS. I know I am a good mom, my friends and family know I'm a good mom, and my kids think I'm a good mom. And really, that's what's most important.
|
| |
|
Senior Member
|
quote: Originally posted by proudworkingmom: quote: Originally posted by pr0m0m: quote: l
Just want to weigh in on a few points. 1.Yes there are bad SAHM's as well as bad WOHM's however all things being equal a good SAHM is better than a "good" WOHM. When the child is YOURS you LOVE them more. NOWAY does a childcare provider LOVE your child more than you. NO WAY does a childcare provider care more about that child's future than you. NO WAY will that Childcare provider willing throw their body in front of a bus for YOUR child. When you work extremely hard for something you are more invested in the outcome. It is more precious to you and you value and respect it more. 2.I've always wondered how anyone can get ahead financially by both parents working outside of the home and paying for Daycare. Good quality Day care costs a fortune. Isn't one parent basically paying for daycare? Unless one is lucky to have a loving Grandparent or close relative "raise" the child I don't see it. I'd think the Daycares that were "cheap" are basically in the "You get what you pay for" category. If that is where the child will spend the better part of their day, then that is most certainly not equal to staying home with a loving parent.
Well, I guess on what you do and what your salary is... If you work at McDonalds or WalMart as a cashier, you are better off staying at home... But if you spent the time, went to college and got a good job, it is very possible to afford day care... How funny of you to say that a good SAHM is better than a good working mother. Let's start rating ourselves against each other... That is what we do nowadays, I guess? By the way, are you going to homeschool? Because that teacher is not going to teach your children the way you would.
Since you mention it I have 3 children and only one in school. The needs of a school age child is not like an infant or a preschooler . Said child was taught extensively at home before entering school. I am not all knowing when it comes to every single academic subject required to expound her knowledge therefore she is in school, and during the summer she is at home. She is not at schoool to be mothered. I stand by my statement however, Mommy and or daddy like breast, is best.It does not mean formula is evil it is the next best thing, but If a daycare provider loves ones child better than Mommy or Daddy does, some reevaluation needs to take place. |
| |
|
Junior Member
|
Wow is right. I always have to wonder why these SAHMs are so angry towards those of us that can do it all.....maybe they just can't function w/o feeling in control of EVERY aspect of their child's life.....who knows. But you all really need to get a life. And why all this HER family, HER kids, HER this and that...........is there a HIM in your life? Does he not hold any responsibility? What year is this anyways? W-O-W, you are all taking us back decades. So much for the women't movement. So, should we be able to vote or should we just defer to our 'master'....oh sorry, I mean husbands?
|
| |
|
Junior Member
|
quote: Originally posted by Cookie1921:
I am a working mom and loving it. I know myself, and I would never be able be SAHM, I would go crazy. Props to all the SAHM who can do it. I enjoy going to work and not have to talk about formulas or potty training, etc…. My husband and I work two different shifts. My 2 1/2 year old daughter is taken care of by my husband in the morning, by my grandmother in the afternoon, and by me at night. And two days a week she goes to daycare. She gets more education outside the house. At my grandmother's she learns Russian and at the daycare she has been taught sign language, all her number and letters. And in regards to how a child feels about her mother, well it depends. My daughter adores her father, when we are both in the room, she could careless about me.
COOKIE1921 I'm sure your daughter gets enough time from you when you're both sleeping. I'm glad to hear that she's learning so much from her dad, grandma and daycare but where are you in this picture? and you are being very honest when you say that your daughter can careless about YOU when her father is around, it just seems that the only person you're concern and worry about pleasing is yourself. I have nothing against working moms, but your example is the reason why I think so many families do. |
| |
|
Member
|
quote: My daughter adores her father, when we are both in the room, she could careless about me.
quote: I enjoy going to work and not have to talk about formulas or potty training, etc
Regardless of ones position on this topic, this is hardly a glaring endorsement for the working mom. And to be fair, SAHM's reacted not because they look down on working moms, rather they felt this show trivialized the importance of motherhood by alluding to what a huge sacrifice it is for a woman to not be a part of the workforce. I think this is what made them react so strongly and rightly so. Let us not forget, it is the SAHM who has been made to feel they are somehow not liberated, not strong, not independent, not successful because they have chosen to stay home. Will any of you working moms who are now lashing out care to address that issue? |
| |
|
Member
|
quote: The world is changing ladies, its time to get with it or get left behind. How many of you SAHM's have a plan if your man leaves?
And you wonder why this show and these comments have ignited the ire of the SAHM. |
| |
|
Member
|
quote: Wow is right. I always have to wonder why these SAHMs are so angry towards those of us that can do it all.....maybe they just can't function w/o feeling in control of EVERY aspect of their child's life.....who knows. But you all really need to get a life. And why all this HER family, HER kids, HER this and that...........is there a HIM in your life? Does he not hold any responsibility? What year is this anyways? W-O-W, you are all taking us back decades. So much for the women't movement. So, should we be able to vote or should we just defer to our 'master'....oh sorry, I mean husbands?
Funny how I have been yelled at for implying that working women have marginalized and looked down upon the SAHM for years and years Where on earth would I get an idea like that? |
| |
|
Member
|
Stay at homers are lazy people - plain and simple, spitting out babies like a soda machine. More babies = more excuses not to work.
|
| |
|
Member
|
quote: Stay at homers are lazy people - plain and simple, spitting out babies like a soda machine. More babies = more excuses not to work.
quote: Stay at homers are lazy people - plain and simple, spitting out babies like a soda machine. More babies = more excuses not to work.
|
| |
|
 | Please Wait. Your request is being processed... |
|
|
advertisement
|
