Unbelievable. Kids go to school until the afternoon. Then do after school activities. My Mother was a working Mom and did just fine. My fiance LOVES her job as a kindergarten teacher, and her two boys are magnificent, despite being "abandoned" by their Mother for a couple hours after school each day when Grandma watches them. Then she comes home, does homework, laundry, piano lessons, etc. All the same stuff you stay-at-home deadbeats put yourself on a pedestal for. You women that are on the warpath over this show need to get over your self-important selves, stop sponging off your hard working husbands, and do something during the day other than posting angry rants about women who are self-sufficient and truly contributing to the family, AND to the childrens' futures by contributing to the college fund. Why should a Dad bear all the weight financially when he's just as important in the kids' lives and upbringing as their Mother? Get a job.
Wow, lol! Glad I'm working after reading this post, lol. I never had the guts to stay at home while my S.O. did everything. My mother is the reason why I'm so successful and I thank her for drilling in my buns to be someone. She's been working since before I was born and I'm 27 now and doing fabulous as a "daycare kid", lol. Anyway, she had me at 18 and even though my grandmother was a SAHM, my mother never fell in her footsteps. Now as to some of her siblings, yes they've fell in my grandmother footsteps and most have regret it. My mother informed me very bluntly, if you want to be someone and be successful....get you azz out there and work hard for what you're trying or wanting to accomplish!! Very blunt coming from a mother, but my mother does not bite her tongue for anything or anyone. Those specific words stuck with me. So even though I'm not the Fashion Designer that I've always wanted to be....it's in the making as we speak
F4J: I have read most of these post on here, the good, the bad, and the ugly. While I will agree with you that most of them on here are full of whining women, trying to put themselves on pedestals, that's the only point I can agree with you on. I am a stay at home mother of three great kids, but I by no means think that I am any more important or any higher caliber of a mother any of my friends who have kids and work out of the home. In my opinion, for what it's worth, it is up to a husband and wife to choose what is best for their children. I don't know of any stay at home moms who's husbands don't support them fully in doing so. I believe you lumping all of us together and calling us stay at home dead beats was a bit harsh. Luckily I'm pretty thick skinned and could laugh at your ranting and raving. My husband practically begged me to stay at home after our first & second were born, but it wasn't until our last child that I felt the time was right. We felt that was the best choice for US. I quit my job as a hair stylist and began my new role as full time mommy, and I wouldn't change a thing and neither would my husband. I still do some hair from home and I dabble with selling things on EBay so as not to "sponge" my husband dry, and to contribute at least a little. I respect your fiance for all she does and I do not consider leaving your children to go to work every day abandonment, that is what she has chosen as the best choice for her, and God bless her for that. I couldn't be a kindergarten teacher, that takes a special kind of person. I guess my point is, not all stay at home moms fit the sterotypical, high and mighty stay at home image you are so intent on bashing. As far as "get a job", this is my job, this is the career path I have chosen at least for the time being. More power to any and all moms, no matter if they stay at home or work full time, because either way you cut it, the majority of moms are just doing what they think is best for their family.
P.S. To all of stay at home moms on here rambling about how disgusting this show is, don't watch it. It's not like they are dragging you out of your house to do it. Stop being so judgemental, that's not your job. Worry about your own family, the women on the show can deal with their's and whatever consequences may come from their decisions. It's really none of your business.
Hello to all just wanted to say that this show is terrible because it TEMPTS a mother who has been at home with her children to leave them for her dream job! Again they TEMPT her! For a Mom to be at home for so... long it is hard to say no to a job you have dream about because you feel you have lost most of yourself while staying home... THANK media for that crap. We should not attack each other. That is wrong. I was rasied by a single Mom she worked at the shipyard since I was a baby. Me and brother had horrible babysitters I was almost molested and he was abused often as was I by these people. If you don't think it could happen in a daycare your wrong as well. If you are going to work make sure you are VERY leary of who watchs your babies. I am 26 and I have 4 children me and my husband have been together since high school that is when I had my first so I understand that fact of not knowing who you are and all not being able to chase your dreams. But there is a wonderful thing I have learn from my children I have found myself my true self because of them I am now not a selfish person I have learn true forgiveness love and kindness and gentleness... :0) Which to me is everything I always wanted to be. I also like to write so I do that and I have sent a script to a company BUT my children will always ALWAYS come first above everything else. They don't need more toys or better toys they need me to get in the floor with them act like a big kid and love them, and give my undivided attention when they do the same flip 50 times and be just as excited to encourge them to try harder try again. I have but a few years with them before they are adults with their own ideas I don't want to waste those beautiful days working away from them. This is for F4J I am sadden by the fact you would call us SAHM deadbeats my husband loves to provide for us and I make it easier for him by not buying things that are not needed and still look good :0) Call me old fashion but he really likes the fact of having his wife meet him at the door and with dinner in the oven and you know what I enjoy doing that for him because it brings him happiness plus I am not too tired all the time LOL.... Don't be blind the family unit is being torn to pieces for what.... more money bigger house mor more more what?.... How about more unselfishness more kindness more LOVE...... Is it hard to stay at home and died to self OH YES but is it worth it an even bigger YES!!! Again be warned the family unit is being torn apart there for leaving broken children who grow to be broken adults....My Mom taught me indepence but I still hurt for the family I didn't have and prasie be to God almighty he has restored that to me through the family I have now loving husband and wonderful children who have taught me what being a beautiful person is.... MUCH LOVE to all.... SAHM let us stop attacking our sisters who work... One other thing did you know in Sweden the government pays their Moms to stay home because they know how important the family unit is... America has it backwards...
I cannot believe this debate is still such an issue. Everyone needs to grow up and get over it! Some moms work, some moms don't, other choose to, others have to. I commend the show for bringing this to light, not all moms want to be at home 24/7. We do not assume a dad should stay home? I am working mom, my kids are well mannered, happy, content, intelligent kids who love life and love their parents. The effort on our part (mine and my husbands) came with how we spend our free time with them, it is the little moments, the dinners, the bathtimes, the daily routine stuff that is still exciting to hear about their day, to do homework with them, to laugh and play, and the weekends are days of enjoyment and discovery. What ever happened to quality? I know alot of great working moms, teachers, lawyers, doctors, nurses, labourers, and more, without them our work force would be male dominated, should they stop having kids because of this? I have been home and I spent most of my day worrying about errands and what needed to be done at home than quality time with my kids, it is a job afterall as well is it not? And last time I checked most of our generation came from moms who did work and in my case my parents had to, shift work, family dinners during the week were out of the question, but because of that, my father played a greater role in our upbringing than most dads. That is the message here, balance. Everyone finds their balance. My husband and I are a team because of this, our parenting is shared, and this is what works for us.
My mother was a SAHM. My father wouldn't even let her get a job after all of us children moved out. She was a sad and unhappy woman all her life. I have had six children. I took the first year off from work for each child. Otherwise I have worked full time even when I was in college. All of my children are happy and well adjusted. My oldest is an accountant, the next is an attorney, the next is a nurse, the next owns his own construction business, the next is a priest, and the youngest is just finishing up her PhD. Because both of us worked all of my children were able to go to the college of their choice. Because both of us worked we both have our own retirement funds and if we choose we can both retire next year at age 60 to enjoy our grandchildren and travel as much or as little as we wish. Whether to stay at home or work is up to the individual. However I wonder how many stay at home moms have bothered to think about what they are going to do when retirement age comes around and they do not have Social Security because they don't have enough work quarters and no pension or 401K to keep them off food stamps?
Some of the mothers writing these posts should be ashamed of themselves! I failed to realize we were living in the 1950's.
The truth is your success or failure as a parent does not ride on whether or not you work outside the home, and it is nonsense to think otherwise. Some women happen to balance a work and home life successfully - others cannot. Plain and simple.
I grew up with a stay at home mother and she loved every minute of it, however, I look forward to a succesful career...does that make me any less capable of raising children? No.
I hope that all those "outraged" women are not stiffling the dreams of their own daughters...we need to send young women the right message : You want it all - ITS YOURS FOR THE TAKING!
Originally posted by ChasProf: Some of the mothers writing these posts should be ashamed of themselves! I failed to realize we were living in the 1950's.
The truth is your success or failure as a parent does not ride on whether or not you work outside the home, and it is nonsense to think otherwise. Some women happen to balance a work and home life successfully - others cannot. Plain and simple.
I grew up with a stay at home mother and she loved every minute of it, however, I look forward to a succesful career...does that make me any less capable of raising children? No.
I hope that all those "outraged" women are not stiffling the dreams of their own daughters...we need to send young women the right message : You want it all - ITS YOURS FOR THE TAKING!
Originally posted by Jess05: Hello to all just wanted to say that this show is terrible because it TEMPTS a mother who has been at home with her children to leave them for her dream job! Again they TEMPT her!
I love it, they TEMPT her. First of all, they didn't just knock on her door and say "Hey, what's your dream job? Here ya go!" She had to sign up to be on the show. Obviously that means she's interested in the possibility of doing something other than staying at home. Secondly, for someone who has stayed at home for so long, with a large gap in her resume, and/or maybe no experience in the career of her dreams, and who is interested in other possibilities, I think this show gives them a rare opportunity to experience their dream job.
Maybe your dream job is staying at home. Great, good for you. I know women who are SAHMs and they are "professional" volunteers: heading up the parents' club at the school, volunteering at local events, supervising their home remodel, taking their kids to every activity under the sun. And it works for them. But not every mother is THAT mother. Maybe some women need something they do to be "theirs", something that stimulates their brain and/or creativity, something else they contribute to that makes them feel happy and dare I say "complete"? There are some women out there who do choose to work because they love their careers, and they actually do still love their kids and in fact are better, more patient mommies when they've had adult interactions all day. Not every woman is cut out for Dora and The Wiggles every day, and being a caretaker 24/7. And if that's what works for those women, and their families, then great. Who are any of us to judge? I would love to stay home again. I love to putter around my house, and I am a homebody, but on the other hand I did get a bit stir crazy now and then, and I'm doing fine working full time. I am not one of those women who would choose to work if I didn't have to, I have to work. But I don't judge those women who do choose to work. That's their choice, and it kind of falls under "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy". Yes, cliche, but one can only give so much before completely collapsing or losing their minds.
Originally posted by F4J: Unbelievable. Kids go to school until the afternoon. Then do after school activities. My Mother was a working Mom and did just fine. My fiance LOVES her job as a kindergarten teacher, and her two boys are magnificent, despite being "abandoned" by their Mother for a couple hours after school each day when Grandma watches them. Then she comes home, does homework, laundry, piano lessons, etc. All the same stuff you stay-at-home deadbeats put yourself on a pedestal for. You women that are on the warpath over this show need to get over your self-important selves, stop sponging off your hard working husbands, and do something during the day other than posting angry rants about women who are self-sufficient and truly contributing to the family, AND to the childrens' futures by contributing to the college fund. Why should a Dad bear all the weight financially when he's just as important in the kids' lives and upbringing as their Mother? Get a job.
Dear Sir,
I'm assuming since you said Fiance' you are not married. I suggest before you walk down the aisle that you really look into what marriage, commitment and supporting one another is all about. It seems the only contribution you can think of to a family is Money. You suggest that if a woman is not working outside of the home she is not " truly contributing" to the family. You then went on to describe a laundry list of things your fiance' has to do AFTER she comes homw from work. Is she contributing to the family then? What pray tell do you think most RESPONSIBLE SAHM's do all the day? The house, children, groceries, doctor appoitments, cleaning cooking, teaching does not take care of itself? I'm going to attribute your nasty "tone" to your frustration with all the posts you have read, but for the record "responsible" SAHM's are not SPONGING off of their husbands. In a committed marriage decisions are made TOGETHER. When you get married there is no his money or her money it is "OUR" Money. As far as contributing to their childrens future and "College Fund" I recently heard one of the great financial advisers of our time say, your first prioroty should be to make sure your child can even make it INTO College and survivie the course work. You can save all the money you want but if you don't put thought time and resources into preparing them you won't need the "fund" As an aside, Your fiance's case is not even the scenerio in question. Grandma's are the best and every bit as good as Mommy and Daddy. Your fiance' also has the ideal job when you have school age kids, as her hours fit well with them plus summers off. Were I you, I'd think about how succesful marriages work, usually devaluing work in the home as not worthy of respect can spell trouble.
Helena sorry to hear that happened to you I know that it still hurts to this day...... Leftofcenter.... They tempt the Mom's by even coming up with this show period.... Ok chew on this for a while NOT all women are called to be MOMs and NO you can not have it both ways make a choice either you want kids or you don't. IF you chose to have children then understand it IS a sacrfice. And your dream needs to take back set to them.. Just know that you give yourself up to rasie these beautiful little people.... SO weigh the cost that is all I am saying.... Again being a MOM is a VERY high calling and requries much from you... For Mom's who HAVE to work that is totally different!!!! Not all can stay at home... I didn't have my children to be rasied by anyone but me.... And just because your children become drs lawyers and all these high paid people does not mean you did it right... What matters are they loving kind and gentle souls who love others more than themselves?? That's when you know you did it right....... DO for others what you would want them to do to you.... Don't reguard yourself higher than anyone else....
In this day in age it is all about you.... how sad when we think that steping on someone so we can feel better about ourselves is prasied.... NOT saying your steping on your kids!!! So don't attack what I said.... We are in a time when it is all about yourself and people are stepping stones to which we step to get ourselves somewhere...... May all of your eyes be open to the truth and not what you think is truth.... DID NOT mean to offend.... Peace...
Originally posted by Jess05: Ok chew on this for a while NOT all women are called to be MOMs and NO you can not have it both ways make a choice either you want kids or you don't. IF you chose to have children then understand it IS a sacrfice. And your dream needs to take back set to them..
Why?
I disagree that you have to make a choice between the two. You don't. You can. That's why it's called a CHOICE. You're free to make whatever choice you feel comfortable with. However, just because I CHOOSE to work outside the home does NOT in any way, shape, form, or fashion make me any less of a mother than a person who CHOOSES to stay at home.
When I was first born, my mother stayed home. My father ended up working 80+ hours a week to support the family. I never saw my father, and my mother was essentially a single parent.
So, when my brother and I were little, my mom went back to college. She then got a job, so that my father was able to cut back his hours and actually spend time with his children.
My mom working was the best thing to happen to my parents' marriage and to our family. My father was not a stressed out mess anymore, us kids grew up with a wonderful, strong role model as a mother, and we certainly did not "suffer" for her working.
Now that I'm married, I will NEVER EVER sit on my butt and expect my husband to support me. Should anything happen to him, I can support myself and our children. He is proud of me too - I'm educated with an excellent job, and I carry my own weight.
He and I work as a team, and neither one of us has to do all the cooking and cleaning around the house. Work schedules are staggered, so that the kids are not in daycare more then 6 hours a day. There are lot of careers out there that allow such flexibility.
When both partners work together as a team, it's not that hard balancing work and raising children.
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