It's really disturbing that some of the moms on here seem to suggest that just because a woman goes to work after having kids then she must not love her children, is selfish, is putting her career above her family, etc. etc. Here's a newsflash, SAHM are not the end all and be all of motherhood. You ARE NOT a better mother simply because you decided to stay home. The decision to go to work or not should be one that is made by the woman and her family. No one on here or anywhere else for that matter has any right in the world to judge. Just because someone is not doing things the way you did, doesn't mean they are doing them wrong. YOU ARE NOT THAT SPECIAL that you have all the answers to motherhood and are on the right track and women who go to work aren't. I am a SAHM mom, because I CHOSE to be a SAHM, not because of being guilt tripped into it. If a woman wants to go to work and can do that while having a family (millions of them can) then that is their RIGHT. Nobody calls men bad fathers or selfish because they go to work after having a family. That is a disgusting double standard you guys are putting on women everywhere. Live and let live people.
Amen, sister katiebeth. Amen. Honestly, the woman who find themselves the most offended are most often the women who are the most miserable with what they're doing. They need to get out of the house a bit and interact with adults. There is nothing wrong with being a SAHM or a WOHM.
Some of these SAHM seems so horribly unhappy, bitter and angry that I feel sorry for their children who spend all day around them.
Right on girl, I mean what century are we living in? Last time I checked, women were allowed to work outside the home if they choose too. I do daycare in my home and have sent my children to daycare when I worked in a pharmacy and you know what, they are the best kids in the world. Some of these woman apparently have never had dreams.
GO KAR!!! Wow, I was kinda getting that vibe too. I think whatever you want to do is kewl as long as you do it with a passion. My son knows I love him even if I'm working. Not sure why SAHM's see that as me abandoning him. Raised by a single mom, I'm fine and a damn good mother to him.
I do think we should all be able to do what we want, but I was taught by my parents that having children was a big decision and a bigger responsibility. Whether we like it or not, our dreams should take a back seat to our children's needs and I don't think there is an expert out there that would not agree that the idela growth environment for a child is one where one of the parents is at home. It can be the man or the woman. I stayed at home when my wife wanted to pursue her career. All of these postings talk about the adults wants and needs. Becoming a parent means putting your child's needs before your own.
My mother was a SAHM. My father wouldn't even let her get a job after all of us children moved out. She was a sad and unhappy woman all her life. I have had six children. I took the first year off from work for each child. Otherwise I have worked full time even when I was in college. All of my children are happy and well adjusted. My oldest is an accountant, the next is an attorney, the next is a nurse, the next owns his own construction business, the next is a priest, and the youngest is just finishing up her PhD. Because both of us worked all of my children were able to go to the college of their choice. Because both of us worked we both have our own retirement funds and if we choose we can both retire next year at age 60 to enjoy our grandchildren and travel as much or as little as we wish. Whether to stay at home or work is up to the individual. However I wonder how many stay at home moms have bothered to think about what they are going to do when retirement age comes around and they do not have Social Security because they don't have enough work quarters and no pension or 401K to keep them off food stamps
I am also disappointed in some of the harsh words used here by some of the SAHM. I work. My son goes to pre-k at one of the best day care facilities in the area. We pay alot (almost too much) but it's worth it because he is learning how to read, write his letters and even spanish. He knows more spanish than I do! I know that he will be ready for kindergarten next year, which is good because they are requiring more and more from children now than they did when I was his age.
And I don't feel guilty because he goes to daycare. We call it "school". He thinks of it as a school. And he loves being with his other friends.
He was watched by my mother for his first two years, then I stayed home for a while, and he is a very shy kid. This past year, being at the day care has really brought him out of his shell.
I don't ever feel guilty for having these women (who are educated in child development, btw) help me raise my child. They do very good work.
I have a question to some of you SAHM's who think that working is "abandonment". Do you consider taking your child to school abandonment too?
I think it is really ridiculous to sit here and judge women for working or staying at home. What happened to freedom of choice? Good grief, people have sacrificed their lives so others can choose how the want to live their lives. It amazes me that people can be so petty and judgmental.
I have been on both sides of the fence. I have six children. I had to work outside of the home when my oldest three children were babies. All of them are well adjusted. I stay at home with my youngest three and they adjusted to school just as well as the older three.
Maybe the success of our children has more to do with the example that we set for them and what we teach as parents not whether we work inside or outside of the home.
Originally posted by rsw: I don't think there is an expert out there that would not agree that the idela growth environment for a child is one where one of the parents is at home.
Actually that's not really true. Many leading experts will tell you that whether a parent is home or not (provided the child has a safe environment away from home) is not as important as the type of interaction the parents have when they are with their children. There have been several studies by major universities to back this up, the two that best come to mind was a study done by the UNiversity of Texas stating that children of working moms did just as well developmentally and socially as children of SAHM. The other study was from the University of Massachusettes that said there was no measurable negative impact on children of mothers who worked outside the home. Amazing what a little research and an open mind can bring you in terms of perspective.
I do think we should all be able to do what we want, but I was taught by my parents that having children was a big decision and a bigger responsibility. Whether we like it or not, our dreams should take a back seat to our children's needs and I don't think there is an expert out there that would not agree that the idela growth environment for a child is one where one of the parents is at home. It can be the man or the woman. I stayed at home when my wife wanted to pursue her career. All of these postings talk about the adults wants and needs. Becoming a parent means putting your child's needs before your own.
You know... maybe that's what is wrong with some of the children that I see out in public. Their parents have put them first in every possible situation and they have no idea what the real world is all about. Needs and wants are completely different things. Certainly every child should have their needs met. Unfortunately, many parents are meeting their children's wants... which translates to... they are raising spoiled little brats.
