This is why mother guilt is so prevalant. No one berates a father for choosing to work. I am a stay at home mom right now but have been on both sides and I don't think either choice is the right one for everyone and the terrible judgemental attitude of many sahm's is appalling. If we all minded our own business as we mind others we might get somewhere.
She is going to work! She is not feeding her children to the wolves! People who are not overwhelmed by it can do both you know. It is possible to work AND be a great mom (or dad). Part of teaching our children means that we nurture ourselves and provide a role model to them that is capable of balance. Don't be so dramatic!
Wow. Look at all the 'burb hookers, angry that the curtain is being pulled back. Pull your weight and stop pretending that your "job" can't be done at the same time as contributing financially to your families.
I hope that you aren't teaching your children to judge as harshly as you are judging these women. Dreams are different for everyone. Making choices is a reality that every man AND woman has to make about their family and their career. Don't assume they are making the wrong one simply becasue you chose differently.
I am troubled by this show - and by the harsh reactions I have seen here. I am a SAHM and I also have a Master's Degree. I know both sides - worked full time until our second child was born. The show is offensive to my senses, I think mostly because of the lack of attention it gives to the weight of the decision to stay at home and it seems to avoid discussion about the importance of that job. I believe that some moms are better moms because they work. I don't, however, believe that SAHMs have to sacrifice their dreams to stay at home. I still work part-time, and I still engage in those things that I find fulfillment in. But there is no dream job that tops raising my children. I just think the show needs to give more attention to what brought those moms home in the first place and to what it means to them to be a mom. There is just too much attention given to those moms abandoning their dreams or missing out on something more, or being unfulfilled. It's biased.
If every woman with children opted to stay at home with her family, the world would be devoid of a great wealth of of intellectual and creative talent.
Don't be scared, ladies. Throw yourselves out there! Your kids will probably thank you for it some day
Got here via Babble - couldn't believe they were serious about what some people were saying about working women with children. Yep, they were.
I'm a mother and I work full-time. We have a close-knit group of friends and every single family has chosen a different path; one family has a stay-at-home dad who works from the home while the mom works close to full time, one family has a mom who works from home and a dad who works full time, one family has two working parents like us but the mom is a teacher so she gets off at the same time as her son on most days now that he's in school (he was in day care when he was younger), and one family has a traditional stay-at-home mom with no outside work. All of the kids are smart, all are doing great, and I defy anyone not knowing which family made which choices to pick out the day care kids from the dad-care kids from the mom-care kids.
I don't look down on my friends who stay home with their children, and I hope they don't look down on me. Those of you who think day care is equivalent to abandonment or abuse are frankly nuts. It's good that you're happy with your choices, but the idea of a show which lets mothers re-examine their own choices isn't a threat to that.
Wow. What I love about our great nation is that we can all share our opinions. I am a SAHM with a 6 yr old disabled child. Interestly people will automatically think that my day is filled with caring for him. But in reality, he goes to school (which I'm not there), then he goes to physical therapy for an hour( which I'm not a part of), then he comes home for Behavioral Therapy for 2 hrs (which I am also not a part of). I basically get my son back at 4pm. I would jump at the chance to pursue my dreams. B/c in my situation, my sons' needs are being taken care of until the afternoon which then becomes my time with him. The point I am making is that everyone's situation is different and unless you know the whole story, which obviously isn't presented in the show....stop being so harsh.
Originally posted by mover11: ...such as parenting. I am assuming that you forgot to mention parenting as a job to which one needs to dedicate themselves in order to fulfill. Hmm...part-time parent...no overtime (it might cut into my carreer)...but, no benefits.
sorry i forgot to add an opinion of yours. i consider being a stay at home mom as a great opportunity to be with my kids all day, everyday.
and to the comment you made, "I hope my kids will pick a facility full of highly qualified professionals when I get too old to take care of myself. Do they have sensory tables at Geezer Village? Will they come to visit me and sign me out once in a while?" with that kind of attitude, i'd stick you in a home if i were your kid.
to taraj: not having to work, but wanting to, is a choice some people make. kids need to develop socially, and not all stay at home moms have neighbors with kids the same age (or at all) to some and have playdates. i understand why you're upset. i like the concept of the show, just not how they make us perceive how everything happens.
i think there was another post by someone, saying there are parts we do not see. i believe that too. that's why they're always asking us to log online to see more.
bottom line, it's just a show. there are worse ones out there. why should we all be shocked & appauled over this one?
this log is my last. most of you need to get over yourselves and stop over-reacting. go pay more attention to your kids rather than yelling at other moms & their opinions.
what has the world turned into?
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Originally posted by taraj: I will never turn this show on again. We're supposed to be excited about a mom being taken away from her 3 young girls so she can be a fashion designer? How selfish. Let's show the other side of the story...how the kids' world is going to be turned upside down by having to go to daycare. I am appalled. There is something seriously wrong with our society. Obviously, if mom has to work that's one thing. But the mom did not have to work and she has two babies. Sick show.
OK- It's cool not to want to watch the show anymore. That's free choice. But free choice also entails letting people make the decisions they want to make. These women obviously DON'T want to be stay-at-home mothers. You and others who have posted here obviously DID. Good for you guys. In my opinion, I really don't care about this whole situation. I think people should make the choices that suit them if it doesn't negatively affect me and my household. I also doubt that choosing to work outside the home will negatively affect the children of these women. I mean, you can stay at home and still be a negligent parent- I've seen it done. My mother and father both have jobs and have raised me and my siblings quite well. I am a well-adjusted college graduate and I am quite happy with the way things have turned out in my life. I'm not ragging on you or anything- that's really not my intention. What I'm saying is that this is a matter of choice and free will. Don't we all just wish we could make other people act/think/speak/raise families/etc. just the way we do? The problem is, we can't. I plan on having a job all my life, even while I have kids and I plan on also being a kick--- mother. That is my choice because that is where I feel most productive. Your choice was different, and kudos to you. But live and let live, guys. It's not the end of the world.
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Wow. I am really very surprised by the animosity shown on both sides. When I first rad the article about this show, I didn't believe it, but now that I see it, I'm not surprised. This show was MADE to spark animosity and create more debate, but it was also made to give mothers a second chance to re-evaluate their lives.
To have a chance to experience what a job would be like without having to go through all of the tedious job searching and the like is handing it over on a platter. I can support both sides, but I do have something to say about those who feel a mother should "not leave their child to be raised by a stranger".
I am a military brat. I've had many different caretakers and been to many different day-cares. Both of my parents were the best at their jobs, therefore they would work 60-80 work weeks sometimes. I probably spent more time at day-care when I was younger than I did at home, but those experiences are what have shaped me into what I am today. I have often wondered how kids who spend all of their time with their mothers when they are younger get much social interaction. I know I looked forward to playing with all of the different kids at day care.
I don't think that a mother or father has to be around all of the time to raise their children right, it's the actual time that they do spend with their children that actually count. My mother and father both instilled into me and my brother what is right and what is wrong.
My parents both made a lot of money, and because of that, I was able to get a good education and all of the toys, tools, anything I wanted to make me happy, and It's the fact that they were able to provide me with all of these luxuries that I am such a determined student.
I am currently 18, graduated from high school with high honors, am enrolled in an engineering program at my community college, about transfer into the engineering program at the University of Arizona, and I work 30+ hours a week. I know that my success and motivation in my school work and for my future come from the example that my parents have set for me, and I would not have my childhood changed in any way. So for those who think that a child is being "neglected" because their mother choose not stay at home with them all day, all I have to say is that there are two sides to the same coin. You stay at home to support your kids, and others go to work even when they don't have to in order to help secure a bright future for theirs.
I believe the whole premise of the show is that life doesn't begin or end when you have children. You're mistaking hope, and displacing values. It's irrational to think that because one parental figure or another is absent for forty hours a week the welfare of their children is sacrificed. Parenting doesn't begin 9-5.
I, myself was a "latch-key kid". I asked my mother why she worked. "Because I love you."
Different parents handle situations differently.
Good mothers can work.
Bad mothers can stay at home.
Just because you stay at home doesn't mean you're a good mother.
Just because both parents work doesn't mean you don't have a solid family unit.
Children grow up.
School takes over.
You can't end your life because you have children. Plenty of stay at home mother's I'm acquainted with don't parent their children, instead rely on Barney and Sesame Street to instill the values and morals that should be coming from them. And there's some awesome stay at home mothers I know too. Plenty of amazing mothers that work.
There are many forms of abuse, but I think a mother working, isn't one of them.
Wow...all I can really say is...wow! What year is this?? I cannot believe in 2008 we are still having this discussion. How dare any of you admonish another woman for having to work. Not everyone has a husband with a good job...or a husband at all. Some people NEED to work and some of you are making them out to be criminals. I have one child and I have always worked. Now, I am a teacher so I do have wonderful hours and all summer off with my son and it's a blessing. Do I NEED to work? Yes, actually I do. In order to live comfortably, we need two incomes. I have seen other posters say that you should wait until you are financially stable to have children. Well, to BE financially stable a lot of couples both need to work. I don't know a lot of people who can survive with one income. I think everyone needs to step off of thier soapbox for a second and realize that their way of life is not always right for everyone else. I applaude SAHM's and think they are just as valuable as every other woman. I do feel that working women need to be give that same respect by SAHM's.
