The divorce rate for women who work outside of marriage is TWICE that of women who stay at home.
What Makes Women Happy in Their Marriages?
W. Bradford Wilcox and Steven Nock recently tackled this question in an article, “What’s Love Got To Do With It?,” published in the March 2006 issue of Social Forces, one of the leading journals of sociology in the U.S.
The top predictors of women’s marital happiness, in order of importance:
1. A husband’s emotional engagement. Women who are married to men who make an effort to listen to them, who express affection and appreciation on a regular basis, and who share quality time with them on a regular basis (date nights, frequent conversations focusing on mutual interests and one another) are much happier in their marriages than women who do not have emotionally-engaged husbands. 2. Fairness. Women who think that housework (and other family responsibilities) are divided fairly are significantly happier than women who think that their husband does not do his fair share. Note, however, that most wives do not equate fairness with a 50-50 model of equality. Only 30% of wives in this study think their marriage is unfair, even though the vast majority of wives do the bulk of childcare and housework. Why is this? In the average marriage, husbands devote significantly more hours to paid labor than do wives—especially when children come along. So, in the average marriage, husbands and wives devote about the same amount of total hours to the paid and unpaid work associated with caring for a family. 3. A breadwinning husband. American wives, even wives who hold more feminist views about working women and the division of household tasks, are typically happier when their husband earns 68% or more of the household income. Husbands who are successful breadwinners probably give their wives the opportunity to make choices about work and family—e.g., working part-time, staying home, or pursuing a meaningful but not particularly remunerative job—that allow them to best respond to their own needs, and the needs of their children. 4. A commitment to marriage. Wives who share a strong commitment to the norm of lifelong marriage with their husband—e.g., who both believe that even unhappily married couples should stay together for the sake of their children—are more likely to have a happy marriage than couples who do not share this commitment to marriage. Shared commitment seems to generate a sense of trust, emotional security, and a willingness to sacrifice for one’s spouse—all of which lead to happier marriages for women. This shared commitment also provides women with a long-term view of their marriage that helps them negotiate the inevitable difficulties that confront any marriage. 5. Staying at home. Wives who stay at home tend to be happier in their marriages than wives who work outside the home. This is particularly true for women who have children in the home. Women often find it difficult to juggle kids, a career, and a marriage all at the same time. In fact, the study finds that working women are less likely to spend quality time with their husbands. They are also more likely to report that the division of housework is unfair. So time pressures and role overload help to explain why working wives are typically less happy in their marriages. 6. Shared religious attendance. Wives who attend church or some other worship service with their husbands tend to be happier than wives who do not share religious attendance with their husbands. Religious attendance may give wives a sense that God is present in their marriage, a sense that their husband seeks to please them by attending church with them, and/or access to other married couples who value marriage and can provide them with guidance and moral support for their marriages. 7. Traditional gender attitudes. Wives who hold more traditional gender attitudes—e.g., who believe that wives should focus more on nurturing/homemaking and husbands should focus more on breadwinning—are happier than wives who hold more feminist attitudes. One reason this may be the case is that traditional-minded wives probably have lower expectations of what their husbands can and should do for them emotionally and practically. We also find that more traditional-minded wives spend more quality time with their husbands, perhaps because they are less likely to argue with their husbands about housework and childcare.
Originally posted by taraj: The divorce rate for women who work outside of marriage is TWICE that of women who stay at home.
What Makes Women Happy in Their Marriages?
W. Bradford Wilcox and Steven Nock recently tackled this question in an article, “What’s Love Got To Do With It?,” published in the March 2006 issue of Social Forces, one of the leading journals of sociology in the U.S.
The top predictors of women’s marital happiness, in order of importance:
1. A husband’s emotional engagement. Women who are married to men who make an effort to listen to them, who express affection and appreciation on a regular basis, and who share quality time with them on a regular basis (date nights, frequent conversations focusing on mutual interests and one another) are much happier in their marriages than women who do not have emotionally-engaged husbands. 2. Fairness. Women who think that housework (and other family responsibilities) are divided fairly are significantly happier than women who think that their husband does not do his fair share. Note, however, that most wives do not equate fairness with a 50-50 model of equality. Only 30% of wives in this study think their marriage is unfair, even though the vast majority of wives do the bulk of childcare and housework. Why is this? In the average marriage, husbands devote significantly more hours to paid labor than do wives—especially when children come along. So, in the average marriage, husbands and wives devote about the same amount of total hours to the paid and unpaid work associated with caring for a family. 3. A breadwinning husband. American wives, even wives who hold more feminist views about working women and the division of household tasks, are typically happier when their husband earns 68% or more of the household income. Husbands who are successful breadwinners probably give their wives the opportunity to make choices about work and family—e.g., working part-time, staying home, or pursuing a meaningful but not particularly remunerative job—that allow them to best respond to their own needs, and the needs of their children. 4. A commitment to marriage. Wives who share a strong commitment to the norm of lifelong marriage with their husband—e.g., who both believe that even unhappily married couples should stay together for the sake of their children—are more likely to have a happy marriage than couples who do not share this commitment to marriage. Shared commitment seems to generate a sense of trust, emotional security, and a willingness to sacrifice for one’s spouse—all of which lead to happier marriages for women. This shared commitment also provides women with a long-term view of their marriage that helps them negotiate the inevitable difficulties that confront any marriage. 5. Staying at home. Wives who stay at home tend to be happier in their marriages than wives who work outside the home. This is particularly true for women who have children in the home. Women often find it difficult to juggle kids, a career, and a marriage all at the same time. In fact, the study finds that working women are less likely to spend quality time with their husbands. They are also more likely to report that the division of housework is unfair. So time pressures and role overload help to explain why working wives are typically less happy in their marriages. 6. Shared religious attendance. Wives who attend church or some other worship service with their husbands tend to be happier than wives who do not share religious attendance with their husbands. Religious attendance may give wives a sense that God is present in their marriage, a sense that their husband seeks to please them by attending church with them, and/or access to other married couples who value marriage and can provide them with guidance and moral support for their marriages. 7. Traditional gender attitudes. Wives who hold more traditional gender attitudes—e.g., who believe that wives should focus more on nurturing/homemaking and husbands should focus more on breadwinning—are happier than wives who hold more feminist attitudes. One reason this may be the case is that traditional-minded wives probably have lower expectations of what their husbands can and should do for them emotionally and practically. We also find that more traditional-minded wives spend more quality time with their husbands, perhaps because they are less likely to argue with their husbands about housework and childcare.
Well, I guess my family, both my mom's and dad's were against the grain where #5 and 7 were involved. Dad had 10 siblings - 6 sisters and 4 brothers. All 6 sisters worked outside the home AND all but 1 were mothers (that' one could not have any). All 5 brothers had wives who worked outside the home and ALL had families. Of my mother's family (1 girl, 2 boys), Mom worked outside the home, as did her sisters-in-laws. Both sides had marriages that lasted >40 years and no divorces.
Both grandmothers and great-grandmothers worked and all had marriages >40 to 50 years and all had children as well.
Guess the socialogists don't know everything.
Also, the research quoted was done in the early 1990s, more than 15 years ago. Now, most of what you quote I'd totally agree with, but some I don't and it's because of a LONG family history of just the opposite to what they say, as well as personal knowledge of other families where both partners work.
Besides, I've really got to be skeptical of any man making an assumption here re: women. After all, it was male researchers at NIMH who gave us the warning signs for heart attacks without putting women into the test studies. And lo and behold, women have different signs than men.
Who would've thunk? But then again...the male researchers didn't seem to think it was important to include the majority gender in the studies.
I will totally agree with the premise that if I'm not happy...ain't NOBODY gonna be happy in my house.
taraj, The author you referenced, W. Bradford Wilcox,is an extreme right-wing, fundamentalist Christian zealot. And I doubt his babbling would withstand any measurable scrutiny. Read between the lines, sister, - this wing-nut is preaching to keep women "in their place" i.e. barefoot and pregnant. These good "christian" manipulators would just a soon have women drinking cool-aid in Guyana, or becoming one of the teenage brides to Warren Jeffs.
Men like Wilcox have their appeal to women who don't want to think for themselves. Frankly, I think these guys are afraid of women and that's why they want to suppress them.
It's totally your perogative to live a life of complaceny and dependency, much like the family dog. I just hope you never hit the wall of reality and crack your rose-colored glasses.
Originally posted by Dawn King: taraj, The author you referenced, W. Bradford Wilcox,is an extreme right-wing, fundamentalist Christian zealot. And I doubt his babbling would withstand any measurable scrutiny. Read between the lines, sister, - this wing-nut is preaching to keep women "in their place" i.e. barefoot and pregnant. These good "christian" manipulators would just a soon have women drinking cool-aid in Guyana, or becoming one of the teenage brides to Warren Jeffs.
Men like Wilcox have their appeal to women who don't want to think for themselves. Frankly, I think these guys are afraid of women and that's why they want to suppress them.
It's totally your perogative to live a life of complaceny and dependency, much like the family dog. I just hope you never hit the wall of reality and crack your rose-colored glasses.
I was wondering why this article sounded a tad bit skewed. Now I know why. The research has not been conducted with neutrality in mind. It's been skewed to obtain the desired results.
I'd LOVE to see the questions asked. That in and of itself would tell the tale. Just as in political polls, if you design or ask a question to certain way to NOT accept neutral or unbiased questions/answers, the research will be unreliable because it's been skewed. And after I just googled his name in a bit more in-depth and found this among many of his evengical authorings, "Bartkowski, John P., W. Bradford Wilcox, and Christopher G. Ellison. "Charting the Paradoxes of Evangelical Family Life." Family Ministry
Again, the research was skewed and from what I'm also reading, is being highly questioned as biased anyway. Ergo, since the research was not performed in an unbiased manner, how can it be deemd valid and acceptable?
It's totally your perogative to live a life of complaceny and dependency, much like the family dog. I just hope you never hit the wall of reality and crack your rose-colored glasses.
WOW, Dawn King, you are so smart and classy. I wish I could be just like you but I'm just a dog. Oh well....
clearly you have a happy marriage, not only is your husband earning well, he is probably an affectionate and appreciative husband. This really has NOTHING to do with being stay at home or not but more about your husband respecting you while you are at home.
I am a stay at home mum, and my husband would like me to be at home but unfortunately he does not respect me. I am little more than a maid. Even though he earns well, he is immature and does not value the sacrifice that I have made. So I am returning to work. I am not going to spend my life polishing the floor to participate in a cold and unaffectionate home environment. It comes from the fact that he hated his domineering mother who was a dictatorial super mom, who has a chip on her shoulder. she orders everyone around in her self righteous super mom self.
So stay at home is not by itself a formula for success it is what two people can agree on and actually respect and appreciate each other.
Too often the woman makes the sacrifice.. gets some low paying job sometimes to occupy herself and the husband walks. I have a friend who took some part time job to occupy herself. Her husband is bored with her housewifey ignorant state and says he is looking at younger women. she is attractive and slim. He plans to leave her and their three kids!
So clearly the debate should not be about stay at home vs not stay at home. Some children do better in day cares and others do worse, some husbands appreciate their wives and others treat them like servants, some over protect their children and others dont, some children are constantly testing boundaries and others are moldable.
Each family has very different stats and so while something may be true generally, it may not apply in your particular home.
PERSONALLY SPENDING MY LIFE WALKING THE DOG AND TAKING CHILDREN TO THE DOCTOR, just won't be satisfying. Probably for many a career defending criminals may not cut it but another career such as an environmental lawyer could. So it is obviously not just WORKING AND SAHM but also what work and what type of stay at home mum.
Clearly you are well off with 200,000 in taxes and the weekend vacations must be expensive.
I hope all the people who have been writing will stop taking pot shots. Devious people are devious whether at home or at work, and bad relationships are about both parthers expectations falling short and not about whether one person is a SAHM.
