One of the SAHMs that I know tied the kids shoes till they were about 10 years old! I no longer associate with this person. These kids don't know how to make decisions, have no sense of accomplishment, responsibility, and independence. I'm not saying all SAHMs are like this but this is how this person was raised and is passing it on to her children. It's absurd.
I have so so much respect for working moms. What a great thing to show your child that you are a strong contributing member of society. The lessons they learn from their parents are so vital to their development. It teaches respect for women, validation of themselves and how to reach for goals. There are so many awesome program out there to children of working parents that those who do stay home are often times left behind when they reach school age. And lets not forget the dad, he has just as much responsibility at home as the mom, shouldn't she have just as much responsibility outside the home? I applaud all you working moms and want to tell you that your children will grow up to respect you and your decision to have a life outside the home.
Originally posted by workingmom123: One of the SAHMs that I know tied the kids shoes till they were about 10 years old! I no longer associate with this person. These kids don't know how to make decisions, have no sense of accomplishment, responsibility, and independence. I'm not saying all SAHMs are like this but this is how this person was raised and is passing it on to her children. It's absurd.
Can we say "helicopter parent"? And most likely one of the worst kind of that species as well.
I really feel sorry for those kids. That mother will be a millstone around their necks for a LONG, LONG time.
Originally posted by mlw119: I have so so much respect for working moms. What a great thing to show your child that you are a strong contributing member of society. The lessons they learn from their parents are so vital to their development. It teaches respect for women, validation of themselves and how to reach for goals. There are so many awesome program out there to children of working parents that those who do stay home are often times left behind when they reach school age. And lets not forget the dad, he has just as much responsibility at home as the mom, shouldn't she have just as much responsibility outside the home? I applaud all you working moms and want to tell you that your children will grow up to respect you and your decision to have a life outside the home.
Wow. Loving, respecting and caring enough about being involved in RAISING a child by staying at home and parenting them rather than paying most often a stranger to do it is a bad example? For me Staying at home with my babies gives them the message that they are WORTH, my time they are WORTH, my sacrifice, they are WORTH my being there to do all the dirty work that some feel is not important and anyone can do it. How in the world does that make me LESS of a contributing memeber of society? Talk about logic turned on it's head. What I'm about to say is not meant to brag, but your idea that a Stay at home child will be left behind in school is laughable in my case. My now 11 year old read at 2! I was and still am VERY involved in my children's education. When she entered school they couldn't keep up with HER. She is now 2 grades ahead and recently took the ACT through the Duke University TIP program she scored in the top 95% of all HIGHSCHOOLERS who took the test. She is only 11! That's the tip of the iceburg. My 3 year old reads fluently as well. Nature vs nurture applied or not I'm quite sure my staying at home and being involved in nurturing and teaching them had a "tinsy" bit to do with it. Pooh Poo it if you will I'm sure if she as behind you'd be willing to call it nurture and exploit that. My Mom was a SAHM. No woman is more respected in the world than she is. I NEVER looked at her and thought "Mom is such a lazy unconributing member of society I wish she'd get a real job"
I am no longer a stay at home mother. My son started reading at the age of 4. He knew what a parallelogram was at the age of 2. He could name trapezoids rhombus all sorts of things at the age of 2. He was writing his name out by age of 3. He knows all sounds that letters make. He can count very well. He is starting math. He's 5 now. Just because you're not a stay at home mom doesn't meant that you child will be not be intelligent.
My mother worked. In second grade I was reading at a college level. I've had my IQ tested and I am well above average. Don't tell mother's that their children will be stupid because they don't stay at home. You didn't say it directly but you were implying it.
I've read through a few of your posts pr0m0m. It seems to me like sometimes you are trying to justify the reason you stay at home by putting other mother's down.
Get over yourself. The economy is going down the crapper and soon you may have to go to work.. I know that some SAHMs take naps during the day. I know of SHAMs that don't even do housework! It is ridiculous of you to think that you are a perfect mother because you stay at home.
You say that you want your children to know that they are WORTH staying home for? What about worthy of a good college education. A nest egg for them when you die. You may think that right now your child will have a good college education on one income, but the prices of college tuition continue to grow year after year. Some scholarships are not enough to pay for the entire 4 years NOT INCLUDING post graduate schooling. Think about the things your child could be worthy of if you had a two income household.
Originally posted by Lillyanya: I am no longer a stay at home mother. My son started reading at the age of 4. He knew what a parallelogram was at the age of 2. He could name trapezoids rhombus all sorts of things at the age of 2. He was writing his name out by age of 3. He knows all sounds that letters make. He can count very well. He is starting math. He's 5 now. Just because you're not a stay at home mom doesn't meant that you child will be not be intelligent.
My mother worked. In second grade I was reading at a college level. I've had my IQ tested and I am well above average. Don't tell mother's that their children will be stupid because they don't stay at home. You didn't say it directly but you were implying it.
I've read through a few of your posts pr0m0m. It seems to me like sometimes you are trying to justify the reason you stay at home by putting other mother's down.
Get over yourself. The economy is going down the crapper and soon you may have to go to work.. I know that some SAHMs take naps during the day. I know of SHAMs that don't even do housework! It is ridiculous of you to think that you are a perfect mother because you stay at home.
You say that you want your children to know that they are WORTH staying home for? What about worthy of a good college education. A nest egg for them when you die. You may think that right now your child will have a good college education on one income, but the prices of college tuition continue to grow year after year. Some scholarships are not enough to pay for the entire 4 years NOT INCLUDING post graduate schooling. Think about the things your child could be worthy of if you had a two income household.
EDIT: For a typo.
Unfortunately you have not "read" my posts in context. The fact that you cannot stick to the issues within the topics and the posts and resort to trying to psychoanalyzie my reason for responding to posts is quite an over reach. It's strange because instead of you attacking the ORIGINAL idea that I responded to that DIRECTLY said SAH children could be behind in school because their Moms stay at home. You make a gargantuan leap and accuse me of saying WOH children would be behind. I was giving the original poster a clear cut example as to why her statement did not hold up. Pure and simple. I never said nor IMPLIED that anyones child would be stupid, the original poster DID. PLEASE read what I responded to before you jump down my throat. I'm not trying to "justify" anything. This is a message board where people are bantering ideas surrounding this issue back and forth I'm am well within my rights to contribute my thoughts and Ideas. It's strange that you are all over me for "supposedly" putting others down. Have you NOT read the posts I was responding to????????? Many assert that SAHM's are lazy non contributing members of society and should get a job. Talk about justification and putting others down. Did you write a post to them and reprimand that kind of rhetoric? Your "get overyourself" phrase is not needed in an adult exchange of ideas. You also do not need to give me a lesson in economics. You have no idea what our financial situation is and what we (my HUSBAND) and I have done to take care of our children, quite an assumption on your part. Your next rant on SAHM's taking naps , and having messy houses etc applies both way's there are WOTH Moms with the same situation I NEVER implied any different. I don't know where you are going with that one. In fact if I'm not mistaken the post I RESPONDED to IMPLIED THAT sahm'S take naps and don't work during the day. I responded that RESPONSIBLE SAHM's WORK during the day. I don't think I need to expand on what we are doing for my children's education, the proof is already in the pudding. Again you don't know anything about our personal finances. Your last statement is very intriguing "Think about what your child could be WORTHY of if you had a two income household?" This again is logic turned on it's head. You first assume that we're scraping the bottom of the barrel with one income. More importantly, the things that I feel my children are worthy of cannot be achieved with a "two income household".
The reason I said WORTHY was because the way you said WORTHY... I'm trying to say there are other things children are worthy of then just a SAHM.. Remember I was one.
I apologize for misunderstanding your post about children being ahead. The reason I said it the way I did was because you made it sound like your child was only intelligent because you stay at home. My point was that just because I don't stay at home doesn't mean my child can't be as intellegent as your child.
I am not trying to point out YOUR financial situation.
My point about dirty houses with SAHM is because a lot of SAHMs on this forum seem to think that their house is clean just because they stay at home.
The get over yourself post is because, as a citizen of the United States, I can say whatever I feel like saying, and in my humble opinion you seem to put yourself on a soapbox trying to tell others that your beliefs are better then theirs. That's my OPINION. Which I am as equally entitled to as you.
Originally posted by Lillyanya: The reason I said WORTHY was because the way you said WORTHY... I'm trying to say there are other things children are worthy of then just a SAHM.. Remember I was one.
I apologize for misunderstanding your post about children being ahead. The reason I said it the way I did was because you made it sound like your child was only intelligent because you stay at home. My point was that just because I don't stay at home doesn't mean my child can't be as intellegent as your child.
I am not trying to point out YOUR financial situation.
My point about dirty houses with SAHM is because a lot of SAHMs on this forum seem to think that their house is clean just because they stay at home.
The get over yourself post is because, as a citizen of the United States, I can say whatever I feel like saying, and in my humble opinion you seem to put yourself on a soapbox trying to tell others that your beliefs are better then theirs. That's my OPINION. Which I am as equally entitled to as you.
The use of the word "worthy" was not why I found the statement interesting it was the irony of it.
as far as the "school" issue you took it the way you did not because of the way I may it sound, but because you were probably so worked up that you didn't comprehend the post in the first place and jumped the gun.
while you say you are not pointing out MY financial situation you specifically said the economy is going down the crapper and I (meaning me) may have to go to work. Sounds specific to me.
The house cleaning issue had nothing to do with my post here, I guess it was thrown in from frustration because I didn't discuss it in my post in this thread at all
As far as the saying whatever you want. There are posting guidelines here, so we actually can't say whatever we want. As far as being on any kind of soapbox I've responded to a few inflamitory posts to give a view from the other side. I've not been on any crusade in fact I've not started ONE post in this forum.
It doesn't matter if you haven't started a post. You've posted quite a bit here on this forum.
Who cares, besides you of course, if I make a comment about ANYONE'S financial situation.
I was well within my rights regarding the forums rules to say 'get over yourself.'
You may not think you do, but you stand on a soap box preaching about how you're better for staying at home. Once again, my opinion.
Now, you really are trying to say someone is stupid by saying I probably couldn't comprehend your post. Unless, you're writing in a foreign language that I can't speak or read, then I probably comprehended your post. Just because I don't take it in the same context that it was meant to have doesn't mean I didn't comprehend it.
Yes, the economy is going down the crapper, I can tell because as a server (Getting ready to look for a new job in an office.) I can see the economy going way down. I especially see it in people who seem to be financially stable. A member of my family (who was a SAHM) recently had to go back to work because of the economy. They were doing VERY VERY well too. Her husband owned his own business.
Do I get worked up? Yes, I do especially when there are people out there judging me. I've been on both sides of the debate. I've been a SAHM and a WOHM. I enjoy working more then staying at home, but when you read TONS of posts first about saying that WOHMs are dropping their kids off at a day orphanage and blah blah blah. It does tend to get you a bit worked up.
Originally posted by Lillyanya: It doesn't matter if you haven't started a post. You've posted quite a bit here on this forum.
Do I get worked up? Yes, I do especially when there are people out there judging me. I've been on both sides of the debate. I've been a SAHM and a WOHM. I enjoy working more then staying at home, but when you read TONS of posts first about saying that WOHMs are dropping their kids off at a day orphanage and blah blah blah. It does tend to get you a bit worked up.
I've noticed you have posted almost as much is there a soapbox involved in your case?
Since you have also been a SAHM did you get upset at posts that said SAHM'S are lazy, don't contribute to the family, are uninteresting and their husbands are cheating on them, are selfish, are sponging off their husbands, their children are socially stunted? etc etc The mud is slinging both ways. Actually just by a general observation the WOTH presence on this board seems to outweigh the SAHM one.
Actually, the reason I don't defend the stay at home mom's is because as a stay at home mom I did feel like I was contributing. Not to society, but to my family. I knew that if I was out there getting a paycheck that I was helping my family.
I did feel lazy as a stay at home mother. Most of my friends with kids work, so there wasn't really the whole play date thing. I'm also not one to sit around with other moms discussing my child's bowel habits. In fact that annoys me. It took me one hour to clean the house because I cleaned it every day. Is that really a job? No. My son and I would read stories, or we'd hop on the computer and find something fun and educational to print out and do. He'd take a nap and I'd watch TV or take a nap.
The whole time I'm just laying around because the laundry is caught up and the house is clean and my son has finally gotten sick of me and is off playing by himself. His father is still at work missing his family because he has to work a lot of overtime to compensate for me being at home, and not having the extra income.
Originally posted by Lillyanya: Actually, the reason I don't defend the stay at home mom's is because as a stay at home mom I did feel like I was contributing. Not to society, but to my family. I knew that if I was out there getting a paycheck that I was helping my family.
I did feel lazy as a stay at home mother. Most of my friends with kids work, so there wasn't really the whole play date thing. I'm also not one to sit around with other moms discussing my child's bowel habits. In fact that annoys me. It took me one hour to clean the house because I cleaned it every day. Is that really a job? No. My son and I would read stories, or we'd hop on the computer and find something fun and educational to print out and do. He'd take a nap and I'd watch TV or take a nap.
The whole time I'm just laying around because the laundry is caught up and the house is clean and my son has finally gotten sick of me and is off playing by himself. His father is still at work missing his family because he has to work a lot of overtime to compensate for me being at home, and not having the extra income.
That is why I don't defend stay at home mothers.
That's interesting. You base every SAHM's day on your days as a SAHM. Since you laid around all other SAHM's must lay around as well? Don't you find that kind of logic erroneous? My life isn't anything like you described. My husband works outside the home, and I work inside the home. We are contributing equally to our family, just in different ways. We both respect the hard work that goes into what we do to keep our family afloat. I have 3 children including an infant so my days are full. My oldest was an only child for almost 8 years, even then I don't ever remember napping, there was always something to do, but I did far more with my daughter than what you described perhaps that was the difference.
You asked me why I don't stand up for SAHMs. I answered. Now who is doing the assuming though? How exactly do you know what I did with my son during the day? I simply stated that my son finally got sick of me. Does that mean that I didn't do things with him? Sorry if I raised my son to not be a clingy little thing that can't be away from Mommy for 2 minutes. My son is independent and enjoys playing by himself. He still does to this day. We do things together. I'm not going to list them off for your approval though. Unless you feel it absolutely necessary. He still will get sick of me. He enjoys building things by himself or with friends. Not with Mom.
BTW when I said clingy children I wasn't implying your children are. There now we can't go into your little discussion about me assuming things.
Originally posted by Lillyanya: You asked me why I don't stand up for SAHMs. I answered. Now who is doing the assuming though? How exactly do you know what I did with my son during the day? I simply stated that my son finally got sick of me. Does that mean that I didn't do things with him? Sorry if I raised my son to not be a clingy little thing that can't be away from Mommy for 2 minutes. My son is independent and enjoys playing by himself. He still does to this day. We do things together. I'm not going to list them off for your approval though. Unless you feel it absolutely necessary. He still will get sick of me. He enjoys building things by himself or with friends. Not with Mom.
BTW when I said clingy children I wasn't implying your children are. There now we can't go into your little discussion about me assuming things.
Heh, the pot calling the kettle black isn't it?
I'm not assuming anything. You volunteered the information. In your effort to downplay your role as a SAHM and emphasize how bored you were, you passed off your daily life at that time as not much to do. It's interesting though, you actually disprove a point that I've seen insinuated by WOTH Moms of SAH children, that they are not independent. My children are also great at entertaining theirselves if need be. Ironically I find that as a benefit to SAH because if you do have a child that wants some alone time or likes to play by himself they have that option. In a Daycare setting that's far more difficult.In my college years before I was married or had children I taught Preschool in a Daycare/Preschool setting. It was quite the eye opener. I had some independent children, and I had some that were literally glued to my hip and had meltdowns when my shift ended and I had to leave. My belief is temperament has more to do with that behavior than parental influence. I'm actually going to give you the last word. My reason for responding in the first place was to defend my original statements that were attacked in this thread, beyond that I don't see a point in bantering back and forth.
I find it odd that so many feminist groups go on and on and on about how it makes no difference if the mom stays home with child and sending kids to daycare has absolutely no negative impact on children. I find this odd because at the same time they fight for longer maternity leaves, longer paternity leaves because it is apparently absolutely essential that the mother be given every opportunity to be at home with the little one.
Which is it ladies? You can't have it both ways.
Well, maybe you can and will but that doesn't make it right.
My son is independent and enjoys playing by himself. He still does to this day. We do things together. I'm not going to list them off for your approval though. Unless you feel it absolutely necessary. He still will get sick of me. He enjoys building things by himself or with friends. Not with Mom.
