Originally posted by MsCaine:
quote:
Originally posted by JumpmastersWifey137:
I am lucky tho, my husband is military and we can fourtunatley afford for me to stay at home, I feel horrible for those people who don't have everything quite figured out yet and HAVE to leave their children to go back to work a month later. Don't judge them for what they do, it's not your place.
Hi Jumpmasters
I haven't heard any contempt from at-home-moms towards working women that have no alternative but to return to work after giving birth.
It sounds like the grub from these women is with a woman who CHOOSES to work after she's given birth to her first child. That somehow, a mother with career ambition has lost sight of what's really important if she can't devote 100% of her waking hours to her children.
Stay-at-home-moms: correct me if I'm wrong here. I think this is what some of you are saying..
I am also concerned about the message being sent to the young women of our next generation. My 13 yo niece believes she wants to be a vet, and she's very athletic.
Her *grandmother* told her just last week that she needs to put these animal and sport "hobbies" away and start wearing more dresses or no man would marry here.
That is... unnacceptable. I, for one, hope that she will secure her future first so that she can marry someday if she chooses to without fear of what will happen to her or her family in a tragedy, or even if she someday chooses to leave. And this discussion board has only firmed up my decision.
Admitedly, I'm a computer programmer who finds great fulfillment in my career *and* in my family. You can filter my comments in this light. My husband never approached me about making a decision to pick one. Why? He doesn't want to do this either. Instead, he cooks and I clean the kitchen. He does laundry and I wash our cars. We moved to a new state last year for my career. Some here may say that I should feel guilty about not wanting to quit my job after the birth of our son, since we are more than financially able to do so.
Why? Quitting my job doesn't make any practical sense: 1) we will have wasted all this time and sacrifice for a career I was just going to walk out on, 2) we're raising our 1 just fine, 3) in my field it will be harder to keep my skills up without continuous employment since the industry changes so quickly and 4) I don't want to quit. I honestly don't even know if I could - if I stayed at home I probably would still be coding in my idle hours (I'm sure there would be a lot of these), submitting to open-source projects or something.
What I *don't* think is sending the wrong message to our daughters is sitting down to think about a debate as impactful to our lives as this one and sorting it out in our own minds. Even if we disagree - lots of people disagree on how to raise their children.
Even, having the courage to judge/condemn a side *if* it's our own honest conclusion.
Even if we disagree. Many people will disagree on how to raise their children. It shouldn't stop us from instilling our own moral values to the next generation.
This topic will have a significant impact on the lives of our daughters. And clearly, there are some of us in two, probably three, very different camps on the subject: to work, not to work, or to each his own (my cheesy Shakespeare reference). Seems to me to be a very worthy item to discuss.
My two cents - apologies for the book - thanks
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