Ok The civil discourse going on in this forum is ubsurd.From what I can see about 95% percent of the posters are women. Well maybe some more men need to post their opinions like I am about to. This show is doing only one thing--making the divorce rate continue to climb. Believe it or not but your average working father is not the most enlightened person he could be. I even recognize that I'm one of those guys. I am a 37 year old father of two (girl 11, boy 7) and it would cause a significant strain on the relationship I have with my wife if she were to start "dumping" the kids off at day-care. Me and my wife never had a conversation about what the working arrangements would be when we had kids it was just assumed, by me, that my wife would stay at home. Wrong assumption, my wife wanted to continue to work it was a terrible argument that lasted almost the entire 1st pregnancy. The word divorce was thrown around quite abit in those arguments. I was raised in a broken home, mom wanted a career dad wanted a SAHM, divorced when i was seven, every other man who came into my mothers life was a leech because she had a good job and mades lots of money. And I can honestly say I would do anything to avoid divorcing my wife simply because I don't want my children to ever have to deal with those problems. With that said I would strongly consider divorcing my wife if she went back into the work place before both the kids have turned 16 and then I would want her to be at all normal family functions (supper every night, cheerleading, church, Cub Scouts, etc...).
But why get divorced just because your wife wants to work? It's not fair for you to make her stay home. It's not fair for you to make her feel bad for wanting to stay home.
Why don't you stay home instead? And as a child of a working mother and being a working mother, day care is not the worst thing you can do to your child.
However, berating your wife because she doesn't want to quit her job after your child is born is definately a way to hurt your child.
Please seek counseling, either couples therapy or by yourself. It's not fair for you to put the burden on your wife. Marriage is a partnership, and the decision to stay home, or not falls on both parents, not just the wife.
And it's not fair to your child to get divorced over something so trivial. That would hurt your child WAY more than having a wife who works.
Wow, I sure am glad I am married to an enlightened guy, who supports and DISCUSSES family choices with me, rather than making assumptions that I will do as he demands.
Good grief. I expect that she meets you at the front door when you get home from work with a kiss, and dinner on the table?
Well I'm one of the few dads here and I encourage my wife to work. Once the kids are in school there's no reason not to at least have a part time job and contribute some income. Is it going to be a job as some high powered exec or fashion designer like what's on TV? No, it'll be one of those garden variety "real" jobs that suck but at least brings in some cash. By then the kids wouldn't know the difference anyway. Of course if it was up to me I'd say "Sure, go be a high powered whatchamacallit, I'll stay home and hold down the fort." I have 3 kids and I've done it before. Trust me, being a SAHM/SAHD beats working by a mile.
Does your wife "dump" the kids off at school or does she home school them?
I love it when tools like you use the word 'dump'. When I was kid my mom raised me by herself because my dad died when I was 4yo. She 'dumped' me off at day care at the YMCA after I got out school. It was such a horrible experience. I got to go hiking, canoeing, I was able to play sports with other kids while under adult supervision. I was able to do arts & crafts with other kids that were 'dumped' at daycare. It's a wonder we all didnt grow up to become sociopaths.
I’ll be blunt with you MADDAD. You’re a nimrod. Not because you want a stay at home wife for the kids but because you in your own words just “assumed” she would not want to work after having kids. When I read that I almost fell out of my chair laughing. I can’t believe you and your wife didn’t discuss that before hand. Doing so might have saved you both a lot of heartache. That is something you talk about BEFORE getting married, not after. Common sense. You’re 37? You seem like someone who is 47 in the year 1955.
To add my 2 cents - maybe things like this is why the Divorce rate is so high! He's thinking of divorcing just because she doesn't want to do what he tells her to do. (in a nut shell) Isn't having kids and staying home/working something you discuss before you get married? Having not gone through that myself... just wondering.
Originally posted by MADDAD: This show is doing only one thing--making the divorce rate continue to climb. Believe it or not but your average working father is not the most enlightened person he could be. I even recognize that I'm one of those guys. MadDad
No what is making the divorce rate climb are such as yourself that marry someone without having the most basic discussions about life.
Like if you want to have kids. If one spouse will stay at home, etc.
You just assumed she would stay at home? Why in the world did you assume that?
Its common sense...
Further...you even state you would consider divorcing her if she went back to work?! I feel sorry for your wife.
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Wait, I am still laughing... What??? Are you serious? Why don't you stay at home? You are the one with the problem of "dumping" the kids at a daycare? Do you want this for the kids or you are just so insecure that you need to feel powerful by keeping your wife at home? You are sooooo lucky you are not my husband.
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I must be on a different planet than you guys. Seriously.
All the women say they want to work yet I know none who either aren't already home and loving it or wish they could quit their job to stay home.
You read about men like MadDad who insist their wife stay home yet all the dads I know with SAHMs tell me they would prefer that their wife worked ($$$) but they wife felt it necessary to stay at home with the kid.
You read about these men who feel threatened by a woman who makes more than him. I wish my wife made more than me so I could go back home and be a SAHD. All my dad friends are right there with me.
I've stayed home watching multiple kids and I loved it. It's the easiest, most fullfiling job I ever had and it's beats the corporate rat race any day of the week.
I am so glad my husband respects my wishes to work. My ex husband was like you. He felt threatened every time I got a raise or promotion evidently that feeling sent him to some other , I told him to pack and get out, I dont need him telling me what to do. My husband tells me he will gladly stay home and take care of the kids while I work and continue to go up the corporate ladder. Of course, I want him to keep his job, but if he lost it today at least he knows I got his back.
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MADDAD, What you want is a slave, not a wife (partner). Last time I looked, slavery was illegal. Maybe your wife needs to dump YOU for a better MAN and your childern a better role model for a father!
HAHAHA YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND. IT IS MEN LIKE YOU THAT HOLD WOMEN LIKE ME BACK. BUT SOUNDS LIKE TO ME YOUR WIFE COULD DO BETTER THAN YOU EASILY I FEEL SORRY FOR HER. YOU REALLY NEED TO SEE THAT WE ARE IN THE AGE WHERE WOMEN CAN WORK AND HAVE A GREAT FAMILY ITS CALLED BALANCE.
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