I can't believe that no one has touched on this so far........ I have only watched one episode of the show and it was the mom that attended the Police Academy. Dads body language and facial expression in this show should have been a slap in the face for the wife. He was so arrogant, he practically snorted when they announced that she attended the Academy and preformed quite well. He was so unsupportive and it was clear that the whole matter was not even open for discussion.
She was so proud and he didn't even give her any satisfaction in that. He was way arrogant. (ok I will give that the show is edited but his body language and facial expression said it all)It is not so much that she made the decision to stay home............he acted as if he couldn't gie her moment to be proud in something she accomplished.
I agree. From watching this episode it appeared that the man was chauvanistic. He wanted to be THE MAN with the happy little house wife at home. He did not want his wife to a police officer. It was almost like he didn't want the competition. There was no way that he was going to ALLOW his little woman to enter his work world.
This was the 1st episode of this new show that I watched...and it was a huge turn-off because of the husband's attitude....
It was like at the end he said NO and that was it...no discussion, her opinion doesn't matter, what he said was the rule and that was it.
I tried to watch the episode last night, and I don't think I can stomach any more episodes....the mothers/wives never chose to take the opportunity that's presented to them, and okay, but then why have a whole show giving a chance to relive their dreams when in the end nothing is going to change? Especially when Mr. Man says so LOL!
I only caught the last few minutes of the police officer episode, and the husband made my skin crawl. His disrespect for his wife was glaringly obvious, and I'm sure he's teaching his boys to be equally dismissive of women. When they asked if he wanted to see the footage of her working, he acted as if he couldn't wait to laugh, rather than having any genuine interest in seeing what she'd been doing. Their "discussion" about whether she should take the job told me all I needed to know about their marriage.
I fully expected to see this attitude here. I was even waiting for it.
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She was so proud and he didn't even give her any satisfaction in that.
That is absolutely not true. He told her on two separate occasions that he knew that she could do it. He also agreed with the female police officer when she said that his wife had the potential to become a great police officer and tried to convince him to support her. He even complimented her in the truck after watching her video that it looked like she was doing a good job.
His decision had nothing to do with him being a chauvinist or being jealous of the competition. Nor did it have anything to do with him doubting her abilities and just wanting the happy little wifey at home (although there is nothing wrong with a husband being happy that someone is tending to the home and family.)
Let's first start with the premise that men are different from women in that it is natural for most men who take on the noble profession of a law enforcement officer to make it their life's mission to preserve and protect NOT JUST their community BUT ALSO their family. It is their purpose on this planet.
So given the above, how could he in good conscience give his blessing and allow his one-an-only life partner and mother of his children to expose herself to all of the ugliness and evil out there- the one whom he is charged with the duty of protecting? It would be tantamount to throwing her to the wolves. It would go totally against the grain of his beliefs. Now, we are all for one standing up for one's beliefs, right?
In addition, he would not be able to fully focus on his duties to be the best police officer that he could be when he would be worrying about his wife, aware every second of the day that she was also out there placing herself in danger. When he is out there day after day facing the world's most evil thugs and stupid low-lifes, he is also responsible for his own safety and that of his colleagues, and the mere knowledge that his wife was doing the same thing would not only take his focus off of his job but it could possibly jeopardize his safety and the safety of those around him.
So before you JUDGE the husband, try looking at it from his point of view.
Originally posted by Velveeta: I fully expected to see this attitude here. I was even waiting for it.
[QUOTE] His decision had nothing to do with him being a chauvinist or being jealous of the competition. Nor did it have anything to do with him doubting her abilities and just wanting the happy little wifey at home (although there is nothing wrong with a husband being happy that someone is tending to the home and family.)
Pray tell, how do you know this? If you're not the husband in question, you are making some gigantic assumptions about his motives. I didn't see him say any of the things you assume he was thinking. I saw him say "no" with essentially no discussion about his reasons for not wanting her to pursue the career. Based on what I heard him say and the way he behaved, he came across as a macho male who wanted his little woman in her place.
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So given the above, how could he in good conscience give his blessing and allow his one-an-only life partner and mother of his children to expose herself to all of the ugliness and evil out there- the one whom he is charged with the duty of protecting?o before you JUDGE the husband, try looking at it from his point of view.
How could he "allow" his partner? She's not a child. It is not his job to protect her from the cruel, cruel world. Somehow, I'm guessing if it were the woman who was already a police officer and her husband were interested in pursuing the same career, you wouldn't be asking how the woman could "allow" her husband to do such a thing.
My best friends, a married couple, identify. He is a cop and she is a sahm. We had dinner with them the other night and this show came up. She and I both had seen this show, and we asked him what he would do. He explained to me everything that I explained here about this guy's attitude.
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If you're not the husband in question, you are making some gigantic assumptions about his motives.
As are you making assumptions about him being nothing more than macho or chauvinistic.
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I saw him say "no" with essentially no discussion about his reasons for not wanting her to pursue the career.
While I agree that there was very little discussion, perhaps you should watch the show again, if you can. He said several times that while he knew that his wife was very capable of doing it, he did not want her to see the things that he sees everyday.
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How could he "allow" his partner?
Excuse me. Perhaps "allow" was a poor choice of words. Perhaps I should have said, "How could he give her his blessing?"
What needs to be remembered here is that a marriage is a partnership. If one party is not in agreement, then it is destructive to the marriage for the other party to proceed without regard. The mom in this episode knows this, and that is why she turned down the offer, however begrudgingly.
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She's not a child. It is not his job to protect her from the cruel, cruel world.
Apparently you didn't read anything that I posted above. It most certainly is his job to protect her. It is what he does. It is who he is. He is a cop. It is his life's mission to PROTECT innocent people and get them out of harm's way. That includes his wife, his life partner.
I'm going to make a reply to your statement of What needs to be remembered here is that a marriage is a partnership. If one party is not in agreement, then it is destructive to the marriage for the other party to proceed without regard.
If the wife wants to do something and the husband doesn't, and she turns it down it is JUST AS DESTRUCTIVE to the marriage. Just because she is the wife doesn't mean she has to agree with what her husband says. It could be more destructive because in the end she might just resent her husband.
Apparently you didn't read anything that I posted above. It most certainly is his job to protect her. It is what he does. It is who he is. He is a cop. It is his life's mission to PROTECT innocent people and get them out of harm's way. That includes his wife, his life partner.
Oh, I read it. I just don't happen to agree with it. I also don't agree with your concept of what a partnership entails. My idea of a partnership is not the man saying "no" without further discussion. I'll leave it at that.
Some strong words towards a man who just had his wife lie to him for a week and not include him in a process that could change their lives forever.
A man who I am sure has been spit on, punched, attacked, perhaps shot at, assaulted, verbally abused, over worked, underpaid, stressed beyond belief does not want his wife to go through the same thing and he is a bad guy?
Throw in the fact she did this behind his back, lied to him and then ambushed him in the back of trailer and told him he had to decide NOW, with not time to consider or talk or discuss it....and he is the bad guy?
"How could he "allow" his partner? She's not a child. It is not his job to protect her from the cruel, cruel world. Somehow, I'm guessing if it were the woman who was already a police officer and her husband were interested in pursuing the same career, you wouldn't be asking how the woman could "allow" her husband to do such a thing."
And I am willing to bet that if a man had lied to his wife for a week and then asked her to make a decision that would be life changing, you wouldn't be so quick to defend him.
I guess honesty and respect through communication is no longer a crucial component of a healthy relationship.
I never thought I would see the day when this kind of dishonesty and disrespect by a spouse would be supported and defended by people.
I am sure you would love it if hubby came home and said "honey, I know we made a decision to live our lives this way but I am not happy, this is not enough for me and I am going to explore a change without involving you and then I will tell you what it is and you will have 5 minutes to decide to support me or not"
Not sure how one can defend that, but hey, this is North America where we look out for number one and to hell with the rest.
