Please don't take offense....just a question for a SAHM.
So what happens if your husband or S.O. lost his job and couldnt find another one for a few months, years, bills piling up, funds are getting low, etc.....then what?
This is why I feel SAHM are actually acting irresponsibly for their families if they have the ability to gain a skill and refuse to do it.
200 years ago, women stayed home with their children. Absolutely, I understand - they didn't have a choice.
This leaves me quite puzzled for today when women stay home by choice, without a degree, and feel they are being good mothers.
Our #1 responsibility to our children is to make sure they are fed and safe. If we fail at this, it doesn't matter how much we tell them we love them anymore.
Women that make sure they can step up to the financial plate should something happen to their husbands can do what they want - stay at home, work, whatever.
If we can't do this, I don't know how we can call ourselves responsible parents...
You sound a bit upset, lol. I was just wondering because if I wasnt working and my S.O. losses his job, then we're basically a$$ed out! The income that we make together keeps our family happy and content. A raise here and there makes it even better. But I wouldnt know where to start, what to do, I'll be an emotional and sensitive wreck if I was a SAHM and this happened to us. Yes, I can get a job, but having that Bachelor's degree may not get you the job you want and/or need. I know some people that have 2 and 3 degrees and I'm more successful than they are...that I will NEVER understand. I dont think all or majority of the SAHMs are irresponsible, lazy, or whatever. But when it comes to my family which we have a few SAHMs....yes they aren't up-to-par, but knock me down when I tell them the things I want to accomplish. One day I'll be a top fashion designer and they just may despise me. But who cares, I'm doing this for my immediate family and myself. I love making my immediate family proud of me.
Oh and I also want my son to know that all women are great in their own little way. But his mom is the greatest because she's making herself and her immediate family happy in the process of it all.
Some of the SAHM on here do have degrees. Unfortunately, I dont have one (by choice for now, I didnt really know what I wanted to do, but now I do...so that's in the making as we speak). But I do have the job experience to get what I want and/or need.
I am a SAHM and I think this is the first that I know of that SAHMs have been referred to as irresposible--that's deffinately a new one. In order to stay at home with my beloved children responsible steps have been taken. First of all, before we got pregnant and decided to bring a child into this world, we made sure that we could support that child on one income. Secondly, should anything happen to my Hubby, heaven forebid, we a have plenty of food storage to last us, and also savings, investments, and other fincial avenues, including employment and disablity insurance. So we would be very well taken care. If the worst happen and my husband died he has set up plenty of insurance for that as well. These steps we have taken in order to ensure are children are taken care responsibily. The piont I want to make is that we should all be careful before we make assumptions that include all SAHMs.
I'm saying: I don't see an issue with a woman (or man) choosing to stay at home, so long as they ensure they are employable.
Some women stay home and have a degree so they can stand on their two feet should anything happen. When people live in a situation that affords them this luxury, I don't see how anyone can argue with it.
The matter that makes me question a person's judgement is when a very intelligent and capable woman *counts* on her husband's income alone *so that* she can stay home and somehow think she is helping her family.
In my opinion, life insurance usually isn't enough.
That's not caring for our family -- not when we have the option to do better. And I don't presume to guess what a person's faith is on here, but it certainly isn't Biblical.
I should have been more specific before. It sounds like you are doing well and making sure you have the skills to keep yourself employable. This world is a better place because of level-headed women like you!
Love the show EXCEPT, why does the choice have to be All or Nothing? I've been a SAHM since 1986 & for the last several years I've been a WAHM (work at home mom). I feel I have the Best of both worlds!
luvmy2 - I understand very well where you're coming from. I respect that your family is well taken care of through insurance, food stock, stocks & bonds, etc, if something happens tragic. I do apologize that I didnt make it as clear as I should have, but I really was referring to those SAHM who is not as fortunate as you and your family are.
MsCaine - THANKS A MILLION hun! I try my best! I also brought up this subject because my mother always told me to work for yourself instead of depending on a man, husband, S.O., boyfriend, or whatever. And if I can hug her now for pushing me to be someone, I would...but she's at work right now, lol. I also love the system that my parents have with my sister and brother. In the mornings my mother drop my brother off at school (school's right across the street) before she heads off to work, while my sister is older enough to wait and catch the school bus. In the evenings my stepfather pick up my brother and the bus drops my sister off at their house. My stepfather starts dinner, help the kids with homework until my mother comes home. Or if mom have school that night, he'll handle it, he loves it. And he loves it even more because my mother is getting more education to bring in more money. It's a system and I loved that factor about them. I'm heading in their direction, but doing it my way But I do understand your feelings. It just so happens that not every SAHM is a soccer mom and was just wondering if they're not as fortunate as "LUVMY2", do they have other options or plan B, C, D, etc.??? You cant appear on Who wants to date or marry a millionaire because you're already involved, so do you have future plans for the worse?!?!
JDixie0105 - Yes, I asked the same questions, but if you look at it, it's not really all or nothing. Some High-top professional person will see the show and grab the person quick to come work for them. I guarantee it. Look at half of these shows out here. One minute you see someone on tv, they're eliminated, then the next show is that they own it, lol. So, I strongly believe someone will grab that person later on down the line if the mom does not want to work right now if the field that she's always dreamed of. She'll probably just need more time than some hours to make her decision.
That must some good insurance you got!!! How many millions is he worth to last you a lifetime? and don't forget college tuition? Now, what happens if you go away first? Who will take care of the kids? Does he have enough insurance on you to make sure he can pay daycare? Sorry to be so crude... I am just being realistic... Life can go either way.
This is why I feel SAHM are actually acting irresponsibly for their families if they have the ability to gain a skill and refuse to do it.
You are no better than the SAHM's that criticize the working moms.
It never ceases to amaze me how quickly women attack one another. ------------------------------------------------ A couples decision is their decision. My wife and I have agreed she wants to go back to work after we have children. She has no desire to be a stay at home mom. But on the flip side, we cannot criticize couples that choose to have one parent stay at home.
Tell me this...if you are working and your husband died tomorrow can you afford to pay all the bills on just your salary? If not then you are being pretty damn irresponsible (according to your flawed logic).
I really try to be open minded but MsCaine that was really off. Women are not irresponsible for staying at home with their children. As most working mothers say it takes two incomes to make it. So if you or your husband dies, lose job or whatever then your family will fall apart financially according to your reasoning.
The mom that said earlier they have savings, insurance, etc. as a back up if something happens to her husband. That is very realistic especially if the family isn't sunk in thousands of dollars of debt.
Originally posted by Pryceless: And just wondering...
Please don't take offense....just a question for a SAHM.
So what happens if your husband or S.O. lost his job and couldnt find another one for a few months, years, bills piling up, funds are getting low, etc.....then what?
Pryceless
Ah yes, the 5 million dollar question that I have yet to get an answer to
RE: "So what happens if your husband or S.O. lost his job"
1. Make sure you have enough to survive 6 months before making such a move. You WILL find something within 6 months. If not then don't say you can't find a job, say you can't find a job YOU WANT.
2. Don't live above your means. Anticipate a worst case employment scenario and plan accordingly.
As long as you're prepared you can handle situations like that easily enough. The same goes for the woman with abandonment issues. Plan and be prepared for your worst fears and you no longer have to fear them.
To blindly strike out with no plan or lifeboat whatsoever is just foolish.
Actually, on the flip side, I wonder how many SAHMs have life insurance policies for themselves? Because what if one of them suddenly died and left hubby to work and take care of the kids? He would suddenly be paying for daycare. When I stayed home for a couple of years, the first thing we did was get a life insurance policy for me (since I no longer had one through work), just in case. Now I have that AND one through work.
Just trying to be very clear.
But I do understand your feelings. It just so happens that not every SAHM is a soccer mom and was just wondering if they're not as fortunate as "LUVMY2", do they have other options or plan B, C, D, etc.??? You cant appear on Who wants to date or marry a millionaire because you're already involved, so do you have future plans for the worse?!?!
