I make all of the money in the house. I have for 12 years! My man is a free loader and he is a controlling person!I buy everything for him. I have always been tolerant of his domestic role but now that our youngest is 8 yrs old, he still won't go out and work!
well, as i see it, you need to give the man an ultimatum--get a job or get out. as much as you may love him, im sure it drives you crazy to have to do all the work. ya gotta use tough love with this one.
--m
[QUOTE]Originally posted by msgotcha: I make all of the money in the house. I have for 12 years! My man is a free loader and he is a controlling person!I buy everything for him. I have always been tolerant of his domestic role but now that our youngest is 8 yrs old, he still won't go out and work![/QUOTE]
You said a 'lesser man'. Are you meaning he has a job and makes money, but you just have a better job so make more money? It was also like this before you've known him and such? All those reasons you gave for the poll are all true. If he is trying to work and not just sitting around while you make the money, then it's fine.
I'm pretty sure that the poll used the expression "man of lesser means" instead of "lesser man."
With that being said, once upon a time, I refused to date any man that didn't make 100K + per year and I even told them so. I wanted to be a stay at home mom and wanted a man who wanted that too and could afford it. Most guys were understanding of my reasoning and didn't think I was being materialistic.
But recently, I came to a realization that his earning less money than me is fine provided that he's aggreeable to contributing to the household as much as he can (both financially & as a partner) and as long as he's okay with the possibility of role reversal should we decide to have a family.
As for his "potential", I learned a long time ago that falling in love with someone's potential is a big mistake because it implies that you want them to change and can't accept them as they are.
Since many divorces are caused by financial disagreements, I do not believe that "Money has nothing to do with love."
I do however believe that beliefs concerning money, childrearing beliefs, relationship strategies should be discussed and agreed upon prior to making a lifelong commitment like marriage.
When I get married,which won't be for a while since I'm only 14, but when I do I don't care if my man or I make more money than each other and hopefully my future husband won't either! Money has nothing to do with love, if you love that person then why does it even matter who makes more?????
Hi all~ I have been married to my dh for 12 years. For the first 8 of those years he worked as a truck driver (both long haul and local). Then he got a DUI. His carreer of over 20 years was over, and he gave up. He did work in a warehouse for a short time, and worked constuction for a few months right after that... and then he just quit. For the last four years he has sat around this house and did NOTHING. Wouldn't even do stuff around here...and there is quite a bit of stuff that could have been done. We lived on peanuts compared to what we used to. It has been terrible, we owe almost everyone. He has been drinking like a fish, being very depressed and making me crazy. We have a 7 year old and she has been witnessing all this... I finally looked at her about a month ago and thought to myself "she is learning that when you are unhappy it is okay to put up with things" and his actions were plainly unacceptable. So... I packed a bag for him with almost all of his clothes put it in the car myself, told him we were going for a ride and took him down to the Greyhound station and bought him a one way ticket to his mothers home town. He went without any argument. He knew it is the best thing. After all, this was a guy who worked two jobs, 7 days a week, when I was pregnant. Although it is sad and I am very lonely at times, our lives have been wonderful this last month. We just saw him this last weekend (I had to drive to him for he still does not have a car) and my daughter had a good visit with him ~ although I noticed that he is still drinking. This was most likely the best move I have ever made and thought I would share my story. I am disabled and cannot work, but how I figure it, God will take care of us. I have an court date for SS on the 20th of next month, wish me luck.. if I win I can pay off all my bills, get into a different house/apt and my daughter and I can start brand new. Feel free to answer this post, I would like to see what others have to say about my decision. Thanks, cashewed
first we need to define a quote goodman unquote,not many of us left. he won't have drinking or drug problem. he absolutely will hold a job. his very presence will make a difference. he will be his wifes greatest fan. there will be no question as to who the protector of the house hold is. he will seek to fulfill his wifes emotional needs.he will listen to her problems and allow her to express herself with out fear of it being used against her later on.and when he makes love to her,she will feel like a warped door hanging by one hinge,with stars in her eyes.that's a good man.i don't care how much money a gal makes she wants a man like that.a quote goodman unquote.
I don't care who the bread winner in the relationship is as long as both contribute.
msgotcha: I don't understand why your still there. He does nothing, contribute nothing. He's there everyday taking up space. He could have been going to school while your child is in school. The sex can't be that great and even if it was you could get that anywhere. I wouldn't put up w/ it. I wish I had the opportunity to not work while all my bills were being paid for. I would be going for my Masters so that I could better myself and OUR HOUSEHOLD.
cashewed: I think you made a good choice, you can do bad by your self.
me my self I have a wonderful partner who pays most of the bills and my job affords me to pay some too, buy grocerries, do things for the house, car, kids, take him out and I don't have to ask him for money to go to lunch w/ the girls. I can go buy him a pair of pants I saw (while buying me some shoes.. ssshh) or a pair of panty hose ect. It's nice for couples to do things for each other finanically and bottom line is love don't pay the bills. Keep the harmoney going and do for each other.
first we need to define
