Please give me some pointers. My friend introduced me to a guy and we are in different states. We met about a month ago and he calls every evening and we talk. I also call. We are in the begining stages. This type of relationship is new for me. In fact, relationships in general are new for me since I have been divorced for several years and have not dated much. I know patience is a virtue however are there any questions or topics that I should focus on?
I have a bit of experience with a long distance relationship but not quite like yours. I grew up in Texas and went to college at the Naval Academy which is in Maryland. My highschool sweetheart and I hoped to keep our relationship going and we tried to maintain a long distance relationship. It was difficult being apart and I missed her in a terrible way. But we did ok and really loved the times when I could come back home on leave to visit. It eventually broke apart as she started seeing another guy but it was not really because of the long distance relationship. It broke apart because we really were not totally meant for each other.
So where does this leave you? Well it is great you met someone who is exciting and enjoys speaking with you. Now if he really is the man for you then the long distance thing will work itself out over time and shouldn't be a giant barrier. If you two fall in love one of you will end up moving to the other's location to be together. Now the hard part about your situation is you really don't know each other very well now. As you know when two persons start to date at first everything is great kind of like a fairy tale. Then as time goes on you learn the persons habbits and find their not so great things. Then as you have knowledge of everthing there is not know about the person you finally make a decision either to move on or go for marriage.
Now for a long distance relationship you will have a tough time learning all the "bad habbits" and not so great things about each other. This is because when you speak on the phone or chat online everything is great. Then to make things worse if you visit him or he visits you for a weekend it will be fairytale time and all will be wonderful. This is not a bad thing but you do need to be extra careful not to make a committment to move or to marry until you are sure you know each other inside and out.
Thanks, that is realistic. I appreciate your candor. It will be an uphill battle but again when people are committed anything is doable and possible. If you can think of other pointers please let me know.
Long distance relationships are difficult...I had the most amazing man in my life, but when he left for months on end, I couldnt do it. Sometimes you just have to choose weather to let go and see if it comes back or if you are able to handle the long distance thing thats great. But what would happen if you two decided to move in together someday...would you feel weird because you werent able to get that closeness?? Good Luck....AE
I split up with a man I'd been seeing when he moved to another continent. We had grown very close during our months together and the "I love you" moment happened just before he left. It tore me apart to see him leave, we both began seeing other people in our respective locations, and we tried to remain on only friendly terms. This didn't last very long. Since then, we've maintained an intensely long-distance relationship for nearly a year. He's finally moving home and I'll be able to see him again. Neither of us has been happier. It's been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but I know he's been worth the wait.
Since you two are in the early stages of a relationship, where spending time together is crucial, I'd spend as much time together as possible, but remember other methods of communication. You can learn a lot about someone through letters and phone conversations. But don't get swept away by the idea of perfection. There are some things you just can't know until you spend time with someone, even if they seem amazing in written word.
There are a lot of cautionary tales out there, but don't lose hope. It can work.
I understand your dilemma as I have been divorced for nearly 20 years and am just now getting into the dating game. I met a wonderful man online about 7 months ago and we live 3 hours apart. He has his own business and works nearly every Saturday. He is very old fashioned and thinks it's his place to come see me...but it has only happened twice so far. I've invited him to a couple of things, but he had to work. it's very frustrating. But he is a wonderful man with the qualities I want.
I don't really have any advice except to follow your heart. Good luck and remain true to yourself.
I can understand where you are coming from....I too just started a long distance relationship, we met on the net 6 months ago. everything started out blissfull we talked all night and texted all day every hour or so, but then things got rocky after a month or so and then we reconnected.
The problem we had was after only knowing eachother for less than a month we decided to officaly become a couple...which in the long run wasnt good b/c even if you live in the same city and can be around someone everyday its kinda soon.
We really didnt know eachother well enough to commit so soon. We're trying it out again just being "friends" and seeing where time will take us, I will be moving to his state b/c i accepted a job position there.
I guess what I would really advise is to WAIT before you make any major commintments or decisions. You have to know someone before you establish a relationship. Just hold off and things should work out fine.
