I have known this guy for almost 4 years now. Now I am 22. We randomly hooked up when I was getting out of a relationship. We would keep randomly hooking up over the next 2.5 years. More recently over the past year and a half we have been getting a lot closer. We are able to talk more comfortably about sex, fixing problems with our relationship, etc. However, I don't even know what are relationship is. I have tried so many times that I can't play this game anymore but he somehow finds ways to keep me around. We are not officially dating, hes not my boyfriend, he acknowledges me as "his friend". I do the same thing but it makes me feel really bad. He is always concerned with making me happy, he shows me PDA but its never like hand holding or anything, its just like sneaking a few kisses or has his arms around my shoulders and stuff.
I guess it doesnt help that his sister is my closest and best friend. which made things so awkward, but more recently I have talked to her and she is very supportive about us dating. And I told him this and he seemed super excited about it but never mentioned it again.
I've tried so hard to not seem so pushy, but heck, i've invested a solid year and a half into this relationship and I cant just waste my time anymore, especially if its never going to evolve.
One time when I told him I couldn't do it anymore. he actually like cried and told me how much he liked me, but jeez that was about 2 years ago now.
Can anyone give me advice? I love this guy, but I can't keep doing this...
This message has been edited. Last edited by: mod_kelly,
I realize I'm a couple of months late here and I hope you are still monitoring your post for replys. I see no one else has responded so here goes. First off I think that if this guy was trully interested in a fully committed relationship it would have happened by now. So obviously he is not. For whatever reason something is keeping this guy from putting his unavailable stamp on you for everyone else to see. There is something about you (or the situation) that he likes, but not quite enough to take the relationship to the next level. There could be any number of reasons for this, now you'll just need to figure out what that is. For instance, could he be dating somebody else? Could he be worried about what friends might think? Is he secretly gay? Or is he just liking the attention he gets from having somebody after him but not really interested in that person romanticaly. I had a similar situation happen to me in high school. I was a junior and had a freshman girl after me big time. I was not physicaly attracted to her at all but was liking the fact that I had this gal after me so heavey. Sort of an ego booster. So my opinion would be that this isn't going anywhere so if you are interested in landing a serious relationship you might want to look elsewhere. You've heard the old saying, "It's time to sh*t or get off the pot" Hope this helps.
ok i know this may have nothing to do with your topic but im new to this forum thing and i didnt know how to right my own so im just replying to yuors my problem is a bit odd so hold on... im 24 my husbans 52 yeah i know i told you it was odd any ways thats not the problem. the problem is i met my husband while i was preganat with my first daughter and i told him i really didnt want the relationship in the first place because of the age differance but he kept pushing till i gave in so time passed and decieded he wanted to get married but again i didnt want to so he again he pushed the issue until i caved and well you guessed we got married and by the time my daughter was 6 months old i found out iwas pregnant again so now we have 2 girls and works ALL the time and i stay home with the 2 girls cooking and cleaning laundry you name it i do it we almost divorced 3 times in the year so we agrue all the time i get very little help with the house or the kids and im not sure what to do so appreciate some input from ANYONE HEEELLLPPP...
Your message is a bit confusing but I think I pieced it all together. Essentially your problem is you feel overwhelmed with having 2 small children, hubby works all of the time, you were pressured into marriage and he doesn't help all that much around the house.
This is how a lot of young mothers feel since taking care of youngsters is a major change in their life. I am assuming your hubby feels that since he is working all of the time to allow you to be a stay at home mom that you should handle the house duties. I do agree with him to a point in that he does work hard all day and when he comes home he should have some down time. So it is reasonable for him to expect the house is in reasonable shape, laundry is under control and you have the evening meal under control. However, he shouldn't just eat and plop himself down on the couch for the rest of the evening either. He should help with the dishes, help get the girls ready for bed, help with homework or read them a book, etc. He needs to recognize that you need some downtime also and him taking the kids off your hands for an hour or two is a necessary thing for you to maintain a good healthy attitude.
I have found that it really is beneficial for me to help out when I get home from work. I do the dishes every night, bath the little ones and always ask if I am needed to help with homework. During this time my wife will go and take a nice hot bath and catch up on her reading. Once the kids are in bed she is re-energized and can come spend some quality time with me which is a great thing for me.
So sit down with your man and talk about balancing chores and come to an agreement who will do what on a daily basis. Then promise him you will make it work his wile (wink wink) if he follows through.
Little Luv Bug.... I felt like I should've posted that topic. I'm in a pretty similar situation. I've been hooking up with this guy a few times since I broke up with my boyfriend of six years. He was my roomate before we started hooking up which makes it a little hard sometimes. I'm 22 by the way. Anyway, we started to get closer and since I just got out of a relationship, I'm not ready for another one. He feels the same way so our agreement is that we're not in a relationship (we're wonderful friends), we can't get jelous if the other flirts or decideds to hook up with someone else (which hasn't happened for either of us), and we try to keep it under wraps although everyone around us assumes we're doing something. We flirt a lot. We don't hold hands either but he does show PDA like your guy. We cuddle and caress each other after sex so I know there's some connection there. And, on top of all that, my other roomate (he's the closest I have to family here) is best friends with my guy.
Unlike you, I don't want to push for a relationship but I do understand where you're soming from. My advice to you is to talk to him. Tell him that you don't want to play games anymore and if you can't be b/f g/f then the sex needs to end so you can more on with your life. I ended my 6 yr. relationship because I didn't see it evolving anymore. I didn't waste the whole six years, only the last 7 months of it and that was too long. If he cries, tell him the ball is in his court. You gave him a decision. He has to make the choice. I hope you get this!! Hit me up when you do. I'd be more than interested to talk to you about this crazy situation.
