I HAVE BEEN DATING A WONDERFUL GUY FOR 4 YEARS THIS MARCH, NON-STOP I AM 30 WITH 2 KIDS HE IS 38 WITH NONE. WE TALK EVERYDAY, SEE EACH OTHER AS MUCH AS WE CAN, AND RECENTLY TOOK OUR FIRST VACATION TOGETHER. THE PROBLEM IS HE HAS NOT PROPOSED AND I AM WONDERING WHEN IS ENOUGH ENOUGH.
If you have a good relationship and everything is working, don't worry about marriage. My last marriage was like what you are going through, the long dating game and then we decided to get married (only because we wanted a baby together). The dynamics of the relationship exceeded the marriage. Once he married me and became the step Dad with his own son, we had major problems which within ten years ended in divorce.
Since that time I have let someone live with me and that too loses the romance. It seems that once they move in, the whole thing changes. They no longer have to try and you lose the dating excitement you once had.
You are young, enjoy just having each other and the time you have together. Marriage is just a piece of paper that can be broken any time. I think you get a lot more from a relationship where you see each other on a regular basis then moving in together and making it a family. He has no children and you have two, this could create problems, I'm waiting now until my 14 year old son is grown up before I even consider letting someone live with me and maybe I'll never do that again. I'm looking forward to my space. I'm currently ending a 5 year relationship because I feel taken advantage of. He moved in for the cooking and cleaning service and we really have lost interest in each other and activities together.
hello ms. crusin...ummm...checked you're replys lately?? as for the question above... as I see it he is quite comfortable with how this is going between the two of you, and is in no hurry to "take the step" but since I'm not aware of how he has endured his past relations I can only surmise with what you have given us here now... and that I dont think that he will pop the question ever, and that he enjoys the relaxed relationship you two have now as being no commitments... but still you two have each other...I feel that he maybe a widower...so if he is or if he's not then you must come to bear the thought that this is all its going to be, unless you go ahead and bring it to the table and see of how you two should carry this further...as in ready to commit, or not. then you will have your answer in how you may handle your own wishes...so good luck.
Hey There, I just had the same situation a couple weeks ago and brought it to this group. I think that first you need to decide what you want out of the relationship. Have a real solid idea, if it's marriage then you have to talk to him about that. I finally broke down and talked to my live in boyfriend of 3 years about where we were headed. It came out during the conversation that he was having a hard time verbalizing his emtions and was on the same level as me. He made me a commitment that in the next year he will propose.
Another person gave me the reminder that if you can't talk to your significant about these problems then something needs to be fixed in your relationship. Just try to be honest with yourself and him.
