Is there any truth to happy endings? The man I was dating for approx 4-5 months is currently seperated and heading down the path to a divorce. Well needless to say, he turned into something I could not quite recognize. One day he wanted to hold me and never let go, the next day he would not want to really talk to me, the day after he would drive across the city to just give me a hug and a kind word because I had a bad day and then two days after this he calls it quits with us - tells me he wants me to be his friend and No Touching - no hugging, holding hands, etc. I took a step back and thought" Who are you?" ..where is the man I was dating?? So then - we are just friends - and it was suppose to be only once a month we contact each other and then it is once a week - only by phone for 10 minutes....It keeps changing...
So I have a few questions -but should first let you know that I have never been married and I have no children so I have nothing in my life to equate to the end of a marriage and the guilt of it all(not seeing children everyday, etc) (his wife ended it not him and No he does not want her back)....
My questions: why is he acting this way? like a yo/yo - up and down , up and down?? Can someone who has been through this shed some light on it for me. How long does this craziness on average last? Why does he dote on his daughter so much (she is 8)..he wants to spend every waking second with her and I find this quite unsual behaviour? Can anyone shed some light on that as well? Why did he think that being with me was preventing him from healing and moving on (as in building his new life)? I never stopped him from doing anything. For the record..I do NOT want him back as is...it was awful and it was like my heart was in my stomach dating him. He would say that he did not want a relationship but then would stay in it. Very, very strange ..Anyhow ...I know he is a great guy (honest, compassionate, loyal, ethical, etc)when he is healthy..he is just way too messed up to be good for anyone right now. So my BIG question is: Once these guys get better is there any chance that they come calling again. Has it worked out for anyone out there? and NO I was not the transitional woman..there was one before me who he dated for awhile. I am leaning to not being his friend right now -as I am not sure I could be - it would be too difficult on me. So when I told him this..he said" That was not one of his options" (as in never seeing me again)...I said" I know it is not, But it is my option"..I do like the guy - want nothing to do with him right now - but would sure like to date him once he is healthy -he would indeed be a good catch. Thanks everyone. Look forward to your replies. I hope someday there is a happy ending to this one.
Suggest you just move on and get him out of your system. He is obviously going through a difficult time in his life and will be preoccupied with this mess for a long time. And yes his number one girl in his life is his daughter - it should be and will be his priority so anyone he dates will have to recognize that.
1st of all my dear you are way too naive. You obviously do want this guy. To write a 1000 word essay on him this man means alot to you. You shouldn't even be dating this guy if he is going through a divorce that means that he is still married and his wife is still in his life and at this point you don't know whether they are still together or not. It sounds to me like they are, and they have more of a connection then just their eight year old daughter. It's like he is out playing the field although he is married. High School games. How old is this man. You also will never understand the whole marrigage and children concept until you are married and have children of your own. The very best advice to you is if you want to be happy in your life move on and stay as far away from this man as possible he obviously isn't a very good catch if his marriage isn't working out whether she ended it or he did it still doesn't sound right. He is more than likely this same wishy washy way in his marriage and you are the 2nd women he's dated throughout this divorce how long is he going to be getting a divorce? Did you ever think that yes you and the other woman are rebound girls. This man obviously is still in love with his wife. Until he is fully ready to let go of that relationship this man is NO GOOD for any woman. Move on girlfriend you sound young and I'm sure you have a fresh look on life so move on with your fresh look in another direction go for the GUSTO another man and DON'T LOOK BACK.....DROP HIM
