I now have a great looking, hot guy living with me now....*BUT* he is just renting a room in my condo. I have known him for many years. HOW he moved in went like this.....I was walking my dogs and he see's me and walks right up to me and says (literally)"Hi....can I move in with you?" (I have been living alone for quite awhile....I said "Sure".
You can have the master bedroom"....I'm collecting rent of $500.00 per month....(which he is late paying I must add) In his room he's got everything...like a small microwave a small fridge...etc. So when he gets home from work he just says "HI!" goes up stairs to his room & closes the door. I *WOULD* like to 'know him better' Do any of y'all know how I should go about this? He's about 38...and lets just say I'm older then him. I need a refresher course on how to flirt...any ideas?? P.S. my 4 dogs love him too!!!

Sounds like a dead-beat honey ----- throw him to the curb. Any involvement you start up with him will only lead to him using you. From what you've said it sounds like he has no intention of forming lasting friendships (keeps walking past you)

Forget it.

I wouldnt make a move unless you are prepaired for the consequences, such as when you cross the line from buisness to pleasure then he will feel welcome to pay no further rent, and you will be instantly propelled into a relationship. and he sees you as no further than a place to live anyway, it smells that he must have been needing a place to live when he aproached you and I wonder of where he came, or what he has left behind...since you have been alone for awhile [Im assuming] and now you have a man in the house has sparked your desires of intamacy, so go with it but outside of the home and look to fulfill your desires where single men go ok?

Don't let him know. Don't mix business with pleasure. Make sure you get your money or throw his #$% out. If you make a foolish move, you're gonna be played a fool.

Welllllll.....guess what??? I got my phone bill today and it was for $674.99 He has been phoning a LOT of 900 numbers. there is a phone jack in the room he rents....but without even *ASKING* he makes these call's. Usually my phone bill at most is $15.00....I just am SOOOOOO MAD HE DID THIS WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST!!!!!!!!! I REALLY lit into him and he said..."I'm sorry Anne....I'll never do it again!" Also when he first moved in & again without asking me he was paying rent to a storage company....but he canceled the service and moved it *ALL* in my family room....WITHOUT ASKING!! He *HAS* been paying the rent right on time. And I *NEED* that money bad. BEFORE my mother passed away she left me our home and a trust fund that hopefully I can live out my life here....so my mothers lawyer pays all my bills....and his secratary phone me this morning and asks ME why the phone bill is so high....(this was before I knew he was using my phone line)
I told Janet (the secratary) "Anne?? Have you been calling 900 numbers?" I said no....I rarely even USE the phone!!! So she's going to phone the phone company to find out if it was a mistake......then a few hours later Michael came in the front door & I just lost it.....he SAYS he'll never do it again....but I don't know if I can trust him....I'm on a small S.S DISABILITY check
which just squeaks me by from month to month.....If someone finds out I have a house mate I will lose my home and literally would be living on the streets So I'm between a rock & a hard place about this all......I'd *REALLY* appreciate your thoughts on this

I REALLY need your in-put about my 'up-date' above

Kick the guy to the curb! He has nothing to lose. He's running up YOUR phone bill w/o asking if he can even use it to make those calls. I can understand you need the money to help out. Heck it's $500 extra but...you were making it before him weren't you?? I think he needs to be kicked to the curb myself.

since your last post i hope that things are better, if you haven't made him move out yet, i would seriously be looking at finding another roomate to help w/your bills.

good luck!

Anne, you sound like a lovely person with a hard situation. I take it from the concern about losing your home that you are not allowed to have roommates. I know that your intentions were good, but it should be no surprise that you have unpleasant consequences when you do something you know you shouldn't. It is NOT, however your fault that this man has mistreated you and taken advantage of your goodwill. I think you should ask someone you trust (I hope you have someone) to be present with you when you ask this man to move out. I know this may be difficult given your initial feelings for him and financial dependence on him. But no amount of money he provides is worth selling your self-respect by allowing him to continue to take advantage of you. There are good people in the world who would not have done this to you given the same situation. When this person is gone, don't hesitate to try to find some good people to meet your needs. Churches, charities, and social service agencies often have programs to help people with financial and other needs. But also try to find some genuine friends who can help you see the good qualities you have. Good luck!