Senior Member
Registered: 05-26-03
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My boyfriend and I have been together 10 months on the 30th. I have my own apartment and he has a semi-apartment in the basement of his parents home. What I mean by semi is that he doesn't have a bathroom or full kitchen yet. Just a stove and refridgerator. He has a bedroom really with a kitchen table also plus his computer desk. Now, he is 39 and I am 34. I feel at his age he should be completely on his own by now. There really isn't any reason why he shouldn't be. He is a special needs school teacher and make 2 1/2 times of what I make. Yet we've been on cross country trips and I payed half the way most of the time. He's polish and he keeps joking that he's cheap. But his mom and me have been talking a lot lately. And like she says, he treats himself well but is cheap with other people. Some people tell me that they would've payed for everything and not let me pay for anything. Which I think he should have. These trips were all his idea, not mine. But I thought I'd be nice and offer to share the expenses. He's also in credit card debt right now, 2 grand. I have more money in the bank then he does. So something's not right there. Sometimes he does spend money foolishly instead of lookig for sales. Or even buying things he doesn't really need. And he does help his parents out with the bills a lot and paying the house taxes on the 2 houses they own. And he doesn't have to pay them rent. But most of the time he is here at my place. But he doesn't give me money towards anything, and I don't ask. My rent went up a couple of months ago, along with some other stuff. He said if I needed his help he would be there for me. But he never offers regularly. He does once and while buy a little bit of groceries and that's it.
When we first met, I thought we were so different, it wouldn't work. He's an avid hunter and outdoors man. I like the outdoors and stuff. But I'm not hunter. His mom thinks he's afraid of commiting into marriage or anything because he thinks he won't be able to hunt anymore. Which wouldn't happen. though his idea of taking 3 or more weeks in the summer and going away hunting, I'm not too fond of. That's a long time. And I can only get 2 weeks out at a time at my job. He gets the whole summer off. I think he's afraid of marriage. I told his mom that I'm not going to stay in the situation we are in forever. I can see it being a little too early yet for marriage, it's only 10 months. He did tell her that he doesn't think you should get serious until after a year. But what the hell does that mean? And I don't think he wants children. But I'm not so sure I do either. But since we've gone out I wonder what it would be like if we had one. Sometimes I feel his hunting is more important than anything else. He hasn't had many girlfriends in the past. And the ones he did have, he got hurt really bad. He's been alone for so long, plus he's an only child who was somewhat spoiled. I think he's so set in his ways and doing what he wants he's afraid to get married. We've never even talked about it. And when his mom teases him about it, he ignores it like he doesn't want to hear it. But he's said before he can picture us being old together.
Now, the house next door is his, and we could move in there, but he doesn't want too. He wants to sell it. His dream is to move to NH and have a lot of property to hunt on when he retires. But I'm not about to live like this for 20 years! He said he doesn't believe in sex or living together before marriage. He's a good ole catholic boy. But that's what we are doing now. And if we did get married we could live in that house. Then when he retires move to NH. But he tends to think of himself and what he wants. And he doesn't want to buy land or a house around here. So where are we suppose to live, our apartments are too small. There was talk of making his apartment downstairs bigger and his parents moving down there. Because they want to spend winters in Florida anyway. And I think we would have the upstairs. But I don't know where that will lead. I was thinking about just waiting until the anniversary of our meeting and see what happens. Maybe he will surprise me. I don't know.
He's not a bad guy, everyone I know likes him a lot. He just has some faults, like we all do. And we know we love each other a lot. I just don't know where this will lead. We have a great sex life and great communication, in the bedroom anyway. He has taken me to a lot of places I have never been before or doen before. And I'm greatful for that. He's always telling me how beautiful I am and how lucky he is to have me.
So I am thinking about talking to him and telling him what I think. I think we should stop sleeping at each others houses and maybe see a little less of each other for awhile. Then I wouldn't have to put up with some of the messes he leaves me when I come home from work. LOL Plus I seen a side of him thst kind of scared me last night. His mom and him kinda got in an arguement and he yelled at her. I felt kinda bad for his mom. And I thought, is he going to be that way with me someday. He doesn't like to be interupted and gets aggreviated. He's never yelled at me, or tried to hit me, he's not like that. He's very gentle, with me anyway. And affectionate. But not so much in front of his parents, I think he gets embarrassed. He won't tell me he loves me in front of his parents either. Like any man, he does have some bad habits, we all do. Maybe because I've been alone so long too, it aggreviates me. And sometimes I feel like I compromise more than he does. I tend to do what he wants a lot. I'm wondering if this relationship will work out in the end. I know when he's away, like last weekend. We missed each other terribly. What do you all think?
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