The evil Dr. UVB has a poor citizen in his clutches. Sickly rays of light stream from his eyes as the poor man writhes at his feet.

Then, from the distance comes a high pitched whine, like a tattoo machine only ten times stronger. It's the Ink Mobile! The highly colorful vehicle screeches to a halt as Ink Man and Tatboy jump out.

Dr. UVB: “Well, if it isn't Fink Man and Scatboy!”

Tatboy: “Holy PABA, Ink Man! Dr. UVB is burning that citizen to a crisp!”

Ink Man: “Never fear, Tatboy!”

He whips out a tube of SPF 30 and squeezes it liberally into Dr. UVB's eyes.

Dr. UVB: “Aaaarrrrrggghhh! Curse you, Ink Man!”

Ink Man turns and pours Aloe Vera gel onto the poor, injured citizen.

Citizen: “Thank you, Ink Man. I don't know what you would have done without you!”

Ink Man: “Just remember to always use a sunscreen with zinc oxide.”

Tatboy: “But what about Dr. UVB?”

Ink Man: “Oh, there won't be any tanning beds where he's going!”

smarti,

Your a novel goddess of ink! That was brilliant!
Soooo when does your next issue come out? Thinking you'll have to type a sequel!

smarti,

That is absolutly hilarious! Like tatqueen, I'd like to know when the next issue is coming out?

S,

What does Ink Man do when he's not a super hero? You know, kind of like Superman working at the newpaper.

Well duh, b, he has a little shop in South Beach! I'll have to see what inspiration hits at 4am tomorrow morning...

I'll be waiting.....

In a busy yet humble tattoo shop in South Beach, one artist humbly sits to the side, drawing. A younger man, his apprentice, humbly sweeps the floor. Suddenly, the door flings open and a police officer runs in.

Police Officer: Everybody, stay inside! There's a gang of scratchers on the loose!

The entire crowd gasps. The artist and his apprentice share a knowing look.

Police Officer: You're safe here, just don't leave!

He rushes out. In the ensuing hubbub, nobody notices the artist and apprentice are gone.

Meanwhile, downtown, a rabid gang of scratchers unleashes havoc on the city, breaking windows and kicking puppies. One spots a young woman cowering in a doorway. He grabs her and pulls her bodily into the street.

Scratcher: What'll it be sweetheart? Butterfly or fairy? MWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Suddenly, a high pitched whine, like the sound of a tattoo machine but ten times louder, splits the night. It's the Ink Mobile! The highly colorful vehicle screeches to a halt and Ink Man and Tatboy jump out.

Scratcher: Well, if it isn't Blinkman and Pratboy!

Ink Man: Unhand that woman!

Scratcher: Not until I scar her... for LIFE!

Ink Man and Tatboy spring into action. POW! WHAM! OUCH!

It's over in moments. The scratchers lie vanquished on the street, tied up with their own power cords.

Scratcher: Curse you, Ink Man!

Young Woman: Ink Man, how can I ever repay you?

Ink Man: Just remember always to check your artist's portfolio carefully.

A ringing sound comes from the Ink Mobile. Tatboy reaches in and grabs the Ink Phone.

Tatboy: Holy pigskin, Ink Man! There's trouble at the university. The whole starting line of the football team is being evicted from their dorm, just because they got their team mascot tattooed on their arms!

Young Woman: Who would do such a dastardly thing?

Ink Man: This can only be the work of one evil villain.

Tatboy: You don't mean...

Ink Man: Yes. The R.A.! Come Tatboy, we have work to do!

Smarti

()()()()() clapping hands ()()()()()

That was fantastic!! Another well writen ink story. I really hope that the boys from "Miami Ink" get to read this!

Loved how you put in a cliff hanger with the "R. A." bit.

smarti-thanks for the change and a great start today.can i have some of what you had for breakfast!

We can but try to please.

One hopes to see it illustrated someday!

wow the mod erased my post once again, love the censorship

We still love you, vinnie!

vinniedonuts,

earlier, they censored a phrase about "b$ngs" (in regards to what tommy chong was arrested for). And i had written it in code like that... Oh well. It's nice to know we're so edgy...

smarti

You ARE awesome. i see these pieces being acted out by the guys on the show (in costume of course) in between tattoos. It would add a lot to the show.

Inkman is Ami, and Tatboy is Yogi...obviously.

quote:

Originally posted by vinniedonuts:
wow the mod erased my post once again, love the censorship

Yup, mine too, but I saw that coming.

Keep it coming smarti22! you just made me hate my job a little less!

Wow, I'm glad you guys like it, I was just goofing around! (And I can't sell a screenplay... go figure...)

Misha - you KNOW those costumes will not include shirts...

quote:

Originally posted by smarti22:
Wow, I'm glad you guys like it, I was just goofing around! (And I can't sell a screenplay... go figure...)

Misha - you KNOW those costumes will not include shirts...

I've got 12 bucks on me!

But do you have a distribution deal, b?

quote:

Originally posted by smarti22:
But do you have a distribution deal, b?

Hang on, let me check.

No ma'am, I do not.

I just finished reading your brilliant short stories. No I don't have a distribution deal either, but if it helps I'll try to support you anyway I can.

***sniff*** You like me! You really like me!

Episode 3 is brewing.

Smarti,

----- as I'm passing a kleenex -----

Posting without you just wouldn't be the same.

Meanwhile, on the campus of the local university, a group of burly young men in matching jerseys, each with a small cartoon mascot freshly tattooed on his arm, huddle outside a dorm. The door is blocked by a lone figure.

His eyes are ringed with dark circles. His skin is pale and clammy. He slightly shakes from excessive caffeine intake. He is...THE R.A.!

The quarterback steps forward.

Quarterback: Dude, this is seriously uncool!

The R.A.: One more step and you’ll all be on academic probation! That’ll end your NFL hopes real quick! MWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Suddenly, a high pitched whine, like the sound of a tattoo machine but ten times louder, fills the air. It's the Ink Mobile! The highly colorful vehicle screeches to a halt and Ink Man and Tatboy jump out.

The R.A.: Well, if it isn’t Stinkman and Flatboy!

Inkman: Step aside, R.A., you can’t keep these boys out of housing they’ve rightfully paid for.

The R.A.: This institution has a reputation to uphold. You can’t have open bottles in the hall, and you can’t have any tattoos!

Tatboy: Holy First Amendment, Ink Man! What do we do now?

Ink Man: Never fear, Tatboy, I came prepared.

Ink Man whips out a copy of the United States Constitution, the Brown vs. Board of Education decision, and the 1964 Civil Rights act.

Ink Man: Shall I start reading?

The R. A. claps his hands over his ears and runs screaming into the night.

The R.A.: Curse you, Ink Man!

The football team lets loose a hearty cheer.

Quarterback: Thanks, Ink Man, you totally rock!

Ink Man: Just remember, nobody can legally discriminate against you because of what you do with your skin, even if it is a bit cheesy.