I agree with doubleh on the lather rinse repeat bit. Like all the rest, funny as ...heck.

smarti,if anyone has earned a tattoo on miami-ink its definetly you!you deserve the garver treatment!!
COME ON TLC- PUT THE GIRL ON !!!!!!!!!
SOMEONE EITHER AT THE SHOP OR FROM TLC NEEDS TO READ THIS!!!!! KEEP THIS THREAD ALIVE PEOPLE !! GARVER1 WERE ARE YOU?

vic, that's an EXCELLENT idea!

smarti,

Those stories are awsome, you should do a comic book with miami-ink, I hope the guys read them, your very talented! Keep up the awsome work! Can't wait til the next one!!!

Hailing all ink pots,

If you enjoy reading smarti's "Ink Man and Tat Boy" short stories. Then jump up to my thread "Attention TLC Director or Mod Ivy". Let's save those stories and voice our thoughts!

We owe it to smarti for making us laugh a little more!

I always check this thread to see what's up in the daily lives of Ink Man and Tat Boy. Keep it up smarti!

Egad, I've created a monster!

The chief of police strides up to three women deep in a heated argument.

Chief: Ladies, ladies, what’s the trouble?

Woman: Look! We all ended up with exactly the same tattoo!

The women present their identical tattoos.

Woman: He told me it was custom. I paid extra!

Chief: Who would commit such a dastardly deed?

A blindingly bright flash washes over the helpless citizens. A man in a long overcoat appears, a camera dangling around his neck. The women point.

Women: It’s him!

Chief: Good heavens, it’s The Flasher!

Flasher: That’s right, Chief.

The Chief draws his gun.

Chief: Hands up, Flasher!

The Flasher whips open his overcoat. 50,000 watts hit the Chief right in the face.

Chief: I’m blind!

Suddenly, from the darkness comes a high pitched whine, like a tattoo machine only ten times stronger. It's the Ink Mobile! The highly colorful vehicle screeches to a halt as Ink Man and Tatboy jump out.

Flasher: Well, if it isn’t Winkman and Matteboy! (Get it? Matte?)

Ink Man: Put that thing away, Flasher!

Flasher: You’ll never stop me, Ink Man! Soon, every citizen in town will have the EXACT SAME TATTOO! MWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Tatboy: Holy Xerox, Ink Man! It’ll be the end of individuality!

Ink Man: Come, Tatboy, let’s make sure he doesn’t duplicate his mistake!

Ink Man and Tatboy spring into action. POINT! CLICK! WIND!

It's over in moments. The Flasher lies vanquished in the street, bundled up in his own overcoat.

Flasher: Curse you, Ink Man!

Ink Man takes the Chief’s blindly flailing arm.

Ink Man: Chief, we’ll take you to the ophthalmologist on the way to the jail.

Woman: But what about our identical tattoos?

Ink Man: Do you like them?

Woman: Well... yes.

Woman #2: Actually, it’s exactly what I wanted.

Woman #3: No way, I’m getting mine pimped.

Ink Man: Just remember, it’s up to you to decide what’s the right tattoo for you!

quote:

Flasher: Well, if it isn’t Winkman and Matteboy! (Get it? Matte?)

smarti... I really loved that part!
"Ink Gal" you could give Marvel a run for his money! LOL

ps... "Ink Gal" is a perfect nickname for you.

I think Garver, Nunez and Darren need to make an appearance

Working on it, b.

quote:

Originally posted by smarti22:
Working on it, b.

Shibby

The crowd roars in approval and jumps to their feet, shouting:

"Bravo! Bravo! Encore! Encore!"

... well, at least this member of the crowd does.

Bravo! Your work should be published. I'm serious too. I would buy it. For 100 bucks you can get your work published. Do it!!!

smarti... What else can I add to that!

gee, i'm falling behind on my reading here, smarti. i guess i don't come to this part of the forum enough. In any event, i should. I need the laughs! keep up the good work.

quote:

Originally posted by vic21:
you deserve the garver treatment!! GARVER1 WERE ARE YOU?

i agree. you deserve -ahem- the garver treatment.

quote:

i agree. you deserve -ahem- the garver treatment.

Garver1... come on drop the girl a line.

the saga continuesnce again brilliant!!

quote:

Originally posted by page28:

quote:

"Bravo! Bravo! Encore! Encore!"

*Stands up and adds her voice and her clapping hands to the others*()()()()()()()()

You go girl!

Oh my, I just checked into this thread, I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard! Plus I'm at work and people are now passing strange glances t me (I'm supposed to be reviewing financial statements). Thank you that provided a much needed break from the monotonous.

I aim to please!

I will take a heaping helping of that "Garver treatment" though...

quote:

Originally posted by smarti22:
I aim to please!

I will take a heaping helping of that "Garver treatment" though...

oh i love them so much...i was away from the site for a week and i immediately returned to read the ones i had missed!

Smarti,

You are so creative! I love your stories!

Okay, you asked for it...

A young girl runs up to Ink Man and Tatboy on the street.

Girl: Ink Man! Ink Man, help me! I wanna tattoo, but my mom won’t let me! It’s not fair!

Tatboy: Holy temper tantrum, Ink Man! She can’t be more than 14!

Girl: I’m 15! And I want it! I want it! I want it!

Ink Man: Settle down there, young citizen. It is legal in some states for people under 18 to get tattoos, but they must have parental consent. What exactly did your mother say?

Girl: She said I should wait until I’m 18, and if I still want it then, it’ll be okay. But I want it NOW! IwantitIwantitIwantit!

Tatboy: She’s not settling down!

Ink Man: We’ll have to call in reinforcements.

Ink man hits a button on his belt. It buzzes. From out of the darkness, three heroic figures appear! From the north comes The Enscriptor! From the south comes El Graphito! From the west comes Mr. Satisfaction!

Mr. Satisfaction: Dude, this better be important. I was napping on the beach.

Ink Man: Gentlemen, this young lady wants a tattoo, but her mother wants her to wait.

El Graphito: What are you, 12?

Girl: I’m 15! And IwantitIwantitIwantit!

Our heroes exchange a knowing look. The Enscriptor steps forward.

The Enscriptor: What exactly is it you want?

The girl produces a drawing of a hummingbird.

El Graphito: That’s actually a pretty cool drawing.

Ink Man: Ahem!

El Graphito: Um, but, yeah, are you absolutely sure this is what you want? Forever?

Girl: Yes, hummingbirds are my favorite thing in the world!

The Enscriptor: Think of it this way. Did you like hummingbirds this much two years ago?

Girl: Well... no... I was kinda into horses then... But IwantitIwantitIwantit!

Tatboy: It’s not working, Ink Man!

Ink Man turns to Mr. Satisfaction.

Ink Man: Do your worst.

Mr. Satisfaction: Okay, look. In ten years, when you want this hummingbird covered, I’ll take your money. But maybe you should think about why you want it so much.

Girl: I just want to show everybody that I can make the right decision for myself.

Mr. Satisfaction: Yes, but can you? Really?

Girl: Well... what if I got something more about me, like my birth date, or zodiac sign, or the word “peace” in Chinese characters?

Mr. Satisfaction: Now you’re talkin’.

The girl gives a heavy sigh.

Girl: I guess you’re right. I should wait. But the day I turn 18, I’ll be ready!

She walks off, smiling.

Tatboy: Wow, Mr. Satisfaction, you’re like a bartender. You can get anyone to admit anything!

Mr. Satisfaction: Well, you know, whatever.

Ink Man: Gentlemen, thank you for your help. We’ve successfully kept the streets safe for the citizens.

The Enscriptor: Anything for the art, Ink Man.

El Graphito: I got your back, amigo.

Mr. Satisfaction: Is there a beach near here?

Smarti you are brilliant! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

I laughed so hard I scared my cat. The names you chose are so perfect. And you captured their characters and everything.

Was that annoying young lady anyone we know?

Holy poop, just when I thought it couldn't get any better, you pop out with this! Amazing I tell ya

B are you sneaking up behind me? What did I say about that!

quote:

Was that annoying young lady anyone we know?

doubleh... I was thinking the same thing!

smarti... You "Script Goddess" you!

I take my inspiration from the current topics of discussion on the boards. That's all I'm sayin'.

ROFLMAO! Smarti, that was awesome! Everything was sheer perfection ... from the names you chose to the dialogue and ... and ... EVERYTHING! Got to say, the lines that had me laughing the most were Mr. Satisfaction's ... "well, you know, whatever" and "is there a beach near here?" Perfect way to end the story! I wait in breathless anticipation for the next chapter.

doubleh and tatqueen - I was thinking the same thing, too.

quote:

Originally posted by tatqueen:
Garver1... come on drop the girl a line.

yeah, come on, throw the girl a bone.
(cough, sputter...gasp...)

"IwantitIwantitIwantit," wails your character. Hmm. Interesting catch phrase. Some say that all the characters that we write are in fact, in some way, ourselves...

sorry, Smarti! this is what happens when they erase CGEB part 5 and close down part 4. Trouble focussing... need brigade...fading fast...keep up good wor--

quote:

Originally posted by doubleh:
B are you sneaking up behind me? What did I say about that!

Sorry about that

good story, not as funny as the rest, but still theres a lesseon to be learned for all those youngins who think they know it all. Good jos smarti.

quote:

Originally posted by misha7:
Some say that all the characters that we write are in fact, in some way, ourselves...

You have NO idea...

Pretty funny.....I love it~

A citizen happily walks down the street, whistling to himself. His brand new tattoo shines brightly on his arm.

A voluptuous woman slinks out of the shadows and approaches the citizen.

Woman: Hey, big boy, is that a new tattoo?

Citizen: Yeah, I just got it. It came out perfect.

Woman: Tell me, what kind of ointment are you using?

Citizen: Well, the guy gave me this stuff...

He trails off. The woman’s seductive smile and glimmering eyes seem to be weaving a hypnotic spell. Suddenly, she sprouts an extra arm! And another! And another! And yet another! Each hand holds a different tube of ointment or lotion.

She is The Unguenator!

Unguenator: Why don’t you try this? Or this? Or this?

Her arms sinuously entwine the poor enraptured citizen. He manages one feeble cry.

Citizen: Ink Man! Help!

Suddenly, a high pitched whine, like a tattoo machine only ten times stronger, splits the night. It's the Ink Mobile! The highly colorful vehicle screeches to a halt as Ink Man and Tatboy jump out.

Tatboy: Holy Kali, Ink Man, she’s got six arms!

Ink Man: Hands off, Unguenator!

Unguenator: Well, if it isn’t Dankman and Zitboy!

Tatboy: Oooh, switching vowels, that’s a new one.

Unguenator: That’s not the only trick I have up my sleeve. I aim to spread infection to every new tattoo in this city! MWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ink Man: Come Tatboy, it’s time to give evil a shot in the arm!

Ink Man and Tatboy spring into action. PARRY! THRUST! DODGE!

It’s over in moments. The Unguenator lies vanquished on the ground, her several hands cuffed behind her back.

Unguenator: Curse you, Ink Man!

The citizen shakes his head, recovering from his stupor.

Citizen: Thanks, Ink Man. I thought I was a gonner for a minute.

Ink Man: Just remember to follow the aftercare instructions given by your artist. He’s an experienced professional and knows what he’s talking about!

Ten points to whoever spots the Daffy Duck reference.

Smarti, I love it!

I have no idea about the Daffy Duck reference, but I'm going to take a guess. Is it, "I thought I was a gonner for a minute?"

quote:

Originally posted by smarti22:
PARRY! THRUST! DODGE!

Would that be it by any chance?

Ding ding ding! You win coyote! From the one where he was trying to be Robin Hood.

ROFLMAO! Smarti, you've done it again! That was awesome! The bit that got me laughing the most was:

quote:

He manages one feeble cry.

Citizen: Ink Man! Help!

I could hear / see it in my head, and the image was just too cute! Caught the Daffy Duck reference, too. Keep up the amazing work ... and you really should bring these stories to Garver.

Man - I can never keep up with these stories!

lol omg that was hilarious!!

I don't know what to say. Really, I'm speechless.


Pure excellence!

You had me at "Hey, big boy." I wonder if it's possible to say that without laughing. You've featured Daffy Duck stuff and Kali; are you going to feature any Asian influences later on? Or possibly Martha Stewart?
P>S> i never would have got the daffy duck reference in a million years. hide some more!References, that is, not nec. daffy duck ones...

Smarti...you're talented....thank you for making me laugh.....keep it up

I watch a lot of public television.

Smarti....you should really copyright the Title "The Adventures of Ink Man and Tatboy"....submit a strip into All of the Ink Magazines....they'd be stupid not to run it...

It might not make you rich but who knows...it just might!!!