Two young citizens, Jerry and Sly meet on the street.
Sly: Hey man, weren’t you gonna to get a new tattoo?
Jerry: Yeah, I’m saving up. I want to make sure it’s right.
Sly: Aw, don’t worry about that. Come on over to my Uncle Scratcher’s house. He did mine for ten bucks!
He pulls up his sleeve. The new tattoo is messy, swollen and oozing.
Jerry: I dunno, man, it looks a little...
Sly: No, come on, it’ll be fine.
Jerry reluctantly follows his friend.
Meanwhile, at Uncle Scratcher’s house, the boys come into the kitchen. Jerry gasps. It’s a mess! Amid the piles of dirty towels, rusting tubes and feasting roaches sits a man, his skin jaundiced, his eyes rheumy, his hands shaky. He is Uncle Scratcher!
Jerry: Good heavens, he’s like Oscar the Grouch! Why is his skin yellow?
Sly: Oh, that’s just the Hepatitis B. No big deal.
Uncle Scratcher: Come, sssssssit. Make yoursssself (haaaaach-ptooey) comfortable.
He waves a dried-ink encrusted tattoo gun toward Jerry.
Jerry: There’s no way he’s touching me with that thing.
Sly quietly slips his arm around Jerry’s shoulder.
Sly: It’s cool, man, it’s cool, just sit back and relax.
Uncle Scratcher: Trussssssssst me, you’ll be jusssssst fine.
The tattoo gun buzzes menacingly.
Jerry: No... no I’m going.
Sly grabs him and slams him down into a chair.
Uncle Scratcher: You’re not going anywhere until I’m through with you!
Suddenly, from the street comes a high pitched whine, like the sound of a tattoo machine but ten times louder. It’s the Ink Mobile! Ink Man and Tatboy burst through the door.
Ink Man: Unhand that citizen!
Uncle Scratcher: Well, if it isn’t Oinkman and Gnatboy!
Jerry: If that ain’t the pot calling the kettle black...
Tatboy: Wait a minute, didn’t we arrest you in episode two?
Uncle Scratcher: Illegal ssssssearch and sssssseizure, baby!
Tatboy: Holy Miranda rights, Ink Man!
Uncle Scratcher: Now I’ve set up a home base, and with my little helper Ssssssly here, you’ll never ssssssstop me! Never! MWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ink Man: There’ll be no technicalities this time!
Ink Man and Tatboy spring into action. What follows is the use of justifiable force, well within the bounds of the law! It’s over in moments. Uncle Scratcher and Sly lie vanquished on the floor, half buried in their own garbage.
Uncle Scratcher: Curssssssse you, Ink Man!
Jerry: Thanks, Ink Man! That was a close one!
Ink Man: Just remember, it’s always worth it to use a reputable, licensed artist, even if it’s more expensive!
This message has been edited. Last edited by: smarti22,
How about one where Ink Man lets Tatboy take the lead? You know, he isn't just the sidekick/apprentice anymore.
Or one where Ink Man and Tatboy help someone decide to do a cover-up on an old tattoo?
Or one where Mr. Satisfaction and Tatboy go out and save ink virgins? I am an Ink Man fan from way back but why should he get all the glory? Why can't Mr. Satisfaction be the hero once in a while?
A young woman sits outside a tattoo shop, wracked with sobs. Mascara laced tears run in rivulets down her cheeks.
A handsome, erudite and kindly young man, Brian, steps out of the shop, humming with satisfaction at his new half sleeve. He spies the young woman.
Brian: Hey, are you okay?
Woman: I... *sniff* I can’t go on. I just can’t take it!
She lifts her pants leg to reveal a half finished tattoo on her ankle.
Brian: Wow, that looks great! Or at least it will when it’s done.
Woman: I can’t! It hurts too much.
Brian: Well, sure it hurts. But it’ll be worth it in the end, trust me.
She abruptly stands.
Woman: I can’t. I’m going home.
Brian: No! You can’t leave it half done! Look, the worst is over...
Woman: Don’t try to stop me!
She starts to walk away.
Brian: You can’t just leave! You’ll regret it for the rest of your life!
But his words fall on deaf ears. She keeps walking.
Brian: Ink Man! Help!
Suddenly, a high pitched whine, like the sound of a tattoo machine but ten times louder, fills the air. It’s the Ink Mobile! Ink Man and Tatboy jump out.
Ink Man: You called, citizen?
Brian points to the retreating young woman.
Brian: She’s running away! Her tat’s only half done!
Ink Man reaches the woman in a few confident strides.
Ink Man: It’s all right, Miss, we’re here to help.
The girl breaks down into tears again.
Woman: Oh, Ink Man, I don’t know what I was thinking. I just can’t take it!
Ink Man: Tell me, is this tattoo something you really want?
Woman: Yes. *sniff* It has very deep and significant meaning to me. Plus it looks really cool. It just hurts.
Ink Man: I know, I know. But the pain is part of the process. You have to ask yourself one question. Is the pain you feel for a brief time now worth the enjoyment you’ll have for the rest of your life?
Woman: Well...
Ink Man: Or is forgoing the pain worth having a half finished, life-long reminder of failure?
Woman: Um... when you put it that way... But I just don’t know if I can go on.
Tatboy: She’s wavering, Ink Man!
Ink Man: Tell me, Miss, what have you eaten today.
Woman: Not much, just a piece of toast and a cup of coffee.
Ink Man: Aha!
He leaps to the Ink Mobile. In one seamless motion, he reaches into the back and pulls out... an ice chest! He whips off the lid to reveal a nicely chilled selection of tasty treats.
Ink Man: You need a sandwich.
She takes the proffered comestibles, and digs in. In mere moments, she starts to brighten.
Woman: This is delicious. I feel better already! Thanks, Ink Man!
Ink Man: Just remember, you need sustenance to keep up your stamina.
Ink Man returns to Brian. He places an appreciative hand on Brian’s shoulder.
Ink Man: Citizen, you did the right thing.
Brian: Thanks, Ink Man! I knew I could count on you.
Ink Man: Come Tatboy! Crime never takes a coffee break!
They leap into the Ink Mobile and drive away.
The woman finishes her sandwich and turns to Brian.
Woman: Wow, you’re really cute!
She grabs him and kisses him, then strides confidently back into the shop.
I been away from this site way to long....I love that one best of all. And I know "B"...is smiling ear to ear knowing he's a part of Inkman & Tatboy. Bravo Smarti...you are the talented one!
