Two young citizens, Jerry and Sly meet on the street.
Sly: Hey man, weren’t you gonna to get a new tattoo?
Jerry: Yeah, I’m saving up. I want to make sure it’s right.
Sly: Aw, don’t worry about that. Come on over to my Uncle Scratcher’s house. He did mine for ten bucks!
He pulls up his sleeve. The new tattoo is messy, swollen and oozing.
Jerry: I dunno, man, it looks a little...
Sly: No, come on, it’ll be fine.
Jerry reluctantly follows his friend.
Meanwhile, at Uncle Scratcher’s house, the boys come into the kitchen. Jerry gasps. It’s a mess! Amid the piles of dirty towels, rusting tubes and feasting roaches sits a man, his skin jaundiced, his eyes rheumy, his hands shaky. He is Uncle Scratcher!
Jerry: Good heavens, he’s like Oscar the Grouch! Why is his skin yellow?
Sly: Oh, that’s just the Hepatitis B. No big deal.
Uncle Scratcher: Come, sssssssit. Make yoursssself (haaaaach-ptooey) comfortable.
He waves a dried-ink encrusted tattoo gun toward Jerry.
Jerry: There’s no way he’s touching me with that thing.
Sly quietly slips his arm around Jerry’s shoulder.
Sly: It’s cool, man, it’s cool, just sit back and relax.
Uncle Scratcher: Trussssssssst me, you’ll be jusssssst fine.
The tattoo gun buzzes menacingly.
Jerry: No... no I’m going.
Sly grabs him and slams him down into a chair.
Uncle Scratcher: You’re not going anywhere until I’m through with you!
Suddenly, from the street comes a high pitched whine, like the sound of a tattoo machine but ten times louder. It’s the Ink Mobile! Ink Man and Tatboy burst through the door.
Ink Man: Unhand that citizen!
Uncle Scratcher: Well, if it isn’t Oinkman and Gnatboy!
Jerry: If that ain’t the pot calling the kettle black...
Tatboy: Wait a minute, didn’t we arrest you in episode two?
Uncle Scratcher: Illegal ssssssearch and sssssseizure, baby!
Tatboy: Holy Miranda rights, Ink Man!
Uncle Scratcher: Now I’ve set up a home base, and with my little helper Ssssssly here, you’ll never ssssssstop me! Never! MWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ink Man: There’ll be no technicalities this time!
Ink Man and Tatboy spring into action. What follows is the use of justifiable force, well within the bounds of the law! It’s over in moments. Uncle Scratcher and Sly lie vanquished on the floor, half buried in their own garbage.
Uncle Scratcher: Curssssssse you, Ink Man!
Jerry: Thanks, Ink Man! That was a close one!
Ink Man: Just remember, it’s always worth it to use a reputable, licensed artist, even if it’s more expensive!
This message has been edited. Last edited by: smarti22,
How about one where Ink Man lets Tatboy take the lead? You know, he isn't just the sidekick/apprentice anymore.
Or one where Ink Man and Tatboy help someone decide to do a cover-up on an old tattoo?
Or one where Mr. Satisfaction and Tatboy go out and save ink virgins? I am an Ink Man fan from way back but why should he get all the glory? Why can't Mr. Satisfaction be the hero once in a while?
A young woman sits outside a tattoo shop, wracked with sobs. Mascara laced tears run in rivulets down her cheeks.
A handsome, erudite and kindly young man, Brian, steps out of the shop, humming with satisfaction at his new half sleeve. He spies the young woman.
Brian: Hey, are you okay?
Woman: I... *sniff* I can’t go on. I just can’t take it!
She lifts her pants leg to reveal a half finished tattoo on her ankle.
Brian: Wow, that looks great! Or at least it will when it’s done.
Woman: I can’t! It hurts too much.
Brian: Well, sure it hurts. But it’ll be worth it in the end, trust me.
She abruptly stands.
Woman: I can’t. I’m going home.
Brian: No! You can’t leave it half done! Look, the worst is over...
Woman: Don’t try to stop me!
She starts to walk away.
Brian: You can’t just leave! You’ll regret it for the rest of your life!
But his words fall on deaf ears. She keeps walking.
Brian: Ink Man! Help!
Suddenly, a high pitched whine, like the sound of a tattoo machine but ten times louder, fills the air. It’s the Ink Mobile! Ink Man and Tatboy jump out.
Ink Man: You called, citizen?
Brian points to the retreating young woman.
Brian: She’s running away! Her tat’s only half done!
Ink Man reaches the woman in a few confident strides.
Ink Man: It’s all right, Miss, we’re here to help.
The girl breaks down into tears again.
Woman: Oh, Ink Man, I don’t know what I was thinking. I just can’t take it!
Ink Man: Tell me, is this tattoo something you really want?
Woman: Yes. *sniff* It has very deep and significant meaning to me. Plus it looks really cool. It just hurts.
Ink Man: I know, I know. But the pain is part of the process. You have to ask yourself one question. Is the pain you feel for a brief time now worth the enjoyment you’ll have for the rest of your life?
Woman: Well...
Ink Man: Or is forgoing the pain worth having a half finished, life-long reminder of failure?
Woman: Um... when you put it that way... But I just don’t know if I can go on.
Tatboy: She’s wavering, Ink Man!
Ink Man: Tell me, Miss, what have you eaten today.
Woman: Not much, just a piece of toast and a cup of coffee.
Ink Man: Aha!
He leaps to the Ink Mobile. In one seamless motion, he reaches into the back and pulls out... an ice chest! He whips off the lid to reveal a nicely chilled selection of tasty treats.
Ink Man: You need a sandwich.
She takes the proffered comestibles, and digs in. In mere moments, she starts to brighten.
Woman: This is delicious. I feel better already! Thanks, Ink Man!
Ink Man: Just remember, you need sustenance to keep up your stamina.
Ink Man returns to Brian. He places an appreciative hand on Brian’s shoulder.
Ink Man: Citizen, you did the right thing.
Brian: Thanks, Ink Man! I knew I could count on you.
Ink Man: Come Tatboy! Crime never takes a coffee break!
They leap into the Ink Mobile and drive away.
The woman finishes her sandwich and turns to Brian.
Woman: Wow, you’re really cute!
She grabs him and kisses him, then strides confidently back into the shop.
I been away from this site way to long....I love that one best of all. And I know "B"...is smiling ear to ear knowing he's a part of Inkman & Tatboy. Bravo Smarti...you are the talented one!
~LadyTat2~ I swear I'm not following you! It's just that... it's been a while since I've returned to this side!
~Smarti~ Once again... a most brilliant read! I really love how you put Brian into the ~Ink Man~ series. I'm going to have to watch what I type from now on! LOL (kidding)
TQ...you can follow me anywhere...I think you're the coolest woman ever. Do you know if the server or something is messed up on the other site tonight. I can't get into it....says page can't be found and then something about the server.
~LadyTat2~ I too can't get over into the darkside... I'm getting the same message as you! Oh! Cotton Candy! Guess I'm going to have to sit down and watch the television. Double Yucker!!!
I'm actually Relieved TQ...I was ready to drop kick my computer out the back door....thinking it was my dinosaur of a computer messin' with me.
At least we can get on here right....hopefully the guys will have it worked out soon. I feel so clothed over here though...and you know me...Less is always better....LOL
~LadyTat2~ I am so lost without my ~avatar~ LOL It feels a though our little ~Ink~ family has been scattered to the four winds! We will have to play thread tag until we can get back in! LOL
TQ...I was thinking of posting a new thread here just for all of us. I do believe I will and maybe right after I do it...we'll be able to go back home...LOL
Tapping my fingers, waiting patiently, trying not to bug the creative genius behind the series, wanting more Inkman & Tatboy, sighing deeply...uuuuhhhh! Softly spoken..."More please"...
In a busy yet humble tattoo shop in South Beach, three humble artists work on their clients. The first station, however, stands empty.
Suddenly, the door flings open. A lone figure stalks inside. His eyes are ringed with dark circles. His skin is pale and clammy. He slightly shakes from excessive caffeine intake. The first artist looks up.
Artist #1: Good heavens! It’s the R.A.!
B.A.: I was the R.A., but I graduated. Now I’m the B.A.! And I’ve come to seek my revenge! Where is he?
Artist #1: Um… who?
The B.A. points to the empty station.
B.A.: HIM! The owner of the shop! Where is he?
Artist #1: He went out for bagels. What’d he ever do to you?
B.A.: He nearly ruined my academic career. HE’S INK MAN!
All three artists just stare blankly at him.
Artist #2: Right. And I’m Tatboy.
B.A.: He IS Ink Man, I know it!
Artist #1: Dude, you should seriously cut out the caffeine. I’ve known this guy for years. There’s no way he’s Ink Man.
B.A.: HE IS! Is is is is is! I’ve done my research on this!
The artists now start chuckling mildly.
Artist #1: No, actually, I’m Ink Man!
Artist #2: No, I’m Ink Man!
Artist #3: I’m Ink Man, and so is my wife!
They laugh loudly. The B.A. grabs a bottle of black ink.
B.A.: Oh yeah? We’ll just see about that!
He pulls a small vial from his pocket and pours it into the ink bottle.
Suddenly, a high pitched whine, like the sound of a tattoo machine but ten times louder, floats in from the street. It's the Ink Mobile! Ink Man and Tatboy fling the front door open.
Ink Man: Drop it, B.A.!
B.A.: Well, if it isn’t Pinkman and Dratboy! I’ll drop it, all right!
He rushes over to a shelf where ink bottles are stored. He thrusts the tainted bottle in amongst the new bottles of black ink.
B.A. You’ll never find it, never! MWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Tatboy: Holy switcheroo, Ink Man! What are we going to do!
The artists all roll their eyes. Ink Man turns to Tatboy.
Ink Man: Tatboy, think about it. Those bottles are new. They’re sealed. The tainted bottle has been opened.
Tatboy: Right!
He rushes over to the shelf and retrieves the tainted bottle. In one swift motion, Ink Man removes the cap and pours it down the sink.
B.A.: Curse you Ink Man!
He falls to the floor in a sobbing heap. The first artist turns to Ink Man.
Artist #1: Thanks, Ink Man.
Ink Man: Just remember, book smarts don’t always equal street smarts. But stay in school nonetheless.
Ink Man and Tatboy rush out and and jump into the Ink Mobile.
The second artist goes over to the still sobbing B.A.
Artist #2: Look buddy, maybe you should just go home.
Just then the door opens again. The shop’s owner and his apprentice humbly come in, carrying bags full of bagels and schmears.
Artist #3: Hey, you missed all the action! This loser just tried to poison some ink. But Ink Man stopped him.
Owner: Yeah, I just saw Ink Man down on the corner. He told me all about it.
The B.A. suddenly leaps to his feet. He points an accusing finger at the owner.
B.A.: I’ll prove it! Somehow I’ll prove it, and the whole world will know you’re Ink Man!
Owner: Dude, you’ve had way too much coffee.
The B.A. storms out. The owner turns to the other artists.
A tattoo shop is shackled closed. The windows are papered over, the door is padlocked, and plastered with angry notes. A woman stands on the sidewalk, pounding on the unforgiving portal.
Woman: This totally s----!
She pounds and pounds. Finally, she gives up.
Woman: If only Ink Man were here!
Suddenly, a high pitched whine, like the sound of a tattoo machine but ten times louder, drifts down the street. It’s the Ink Mobile! The highly colorful vehicle screeches to a halt as Ink Man and Tatboy jump out.
Ink Man: What seems to be the problem, citizen?
Woman: Ink Man, thank heavens you're here! I had an appointment to get a tattoo here today, but the guy disappeared! I even gave him a hefty deposit, and now I have nothing!
Tatboy: Who would do such a dastardly thing?
Ink Man: I have a pretty good idea.
Just then, a shadowy figure creeps around from the back of the shop. He's wearing... a suit.
Ink Man: Stop right there!
Ink Man strides to him and whips him around.
Woman: That's him! He took my money!
Tatboy: Holy Bottom Line, Ink Man! It's Standard O'Conduct, the number two man of the Corporate Mind Set!
Standard O'Conduct: Well, if it isn't Mink Man and Ratboy!
Ink Man: You left this woman in the lurch?
Standard O'Conduct: That's right! Just because you put Judge Mental behind bars doesn't mean the rest of us are idle. Soon, every person in the city who wants a tattoo will be penniless! MWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ink Man: We're about to rearrange your schedule.
Ink Man and Tatboy spring into action. FOLD! SPINDLE! MUTILATE!
It's over in moments. Standard O'Conduct lies vanquished on the sidewalk, wrapped up in his own quarterly reports.
Standard O'Conduct: Curse you, Ink Man!
Ink Man reaches into Standard O'Conduct's pocket. He pulls out a wad of bills, handing some of it to the woman.
Ink Man: That should cover your deposit. And here's the name of a reputable shop with talented artists who will be able to give you whatever tattoo you want.
Woman: Thanks, Ink Man, you're a life saver!
Ink Man: Just remember, don't let anybody jerk you around!
This message has been edited. Last edited by: kim g,
Hi *waves*, I'm new here and just wanted to say "hi".
And I read smarti's "Adventures of Ink Man and Tatboy" and they're pretty sweet. Somebody should send them to the guys of Miami Ink, they'd probably get a kick outta them.
Anyway, just wanted to say hi and that smarti's series is cool.
Guess I'm going to have to sit down and watch the television. Double Yucker!!!
We will have to play thread tag until we can get back in! LOL
