When we suffer loss it is natural for us to grieve. The most difficult loss is the loss of a spouse, parent, or a child, or another relative. Loosing a close friend is also upsetting. Yet loosing a beloved pet can be even more stressful than loosings other. Loosing an animal you've never met can be too.

As you go down that list, from the beginning toward the last listed, other people who have not experienced the loss have more difficulty in understanding why the death has effectied you so.

Also, losing a hope or an expectation is also stressful. To complicate things there are also more feelings such as guilt, shame, fear, and anger. These feelings are confusing and make recovery from loss more lengthy and difficult.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross has written extensively about her experience working with terminally ill patients and with survivors of Nazi concentration camps in her book, “on Death and Dying.” She writes five psychological stages of grieving. It is her feeling that any kind of loss from the death of a loved one, the loss of a special relationship, failing an exam, or losing ones wallet triggers the same type of responses that all people go through.

1. DENIAL: At this stage of the process we are unwilling to accept the truth of the situation. This is also a stage of shock and we may feel like we are in a dream and will soon awaken to find the problem isn’t there.

2. ANGER: It is common for persons experiencing loss to feel angry and feel the need to blame themselves or others for their situation. It is not uncommon to feel that God is punishing you.

3. BARGAINING: This phase is brief but important. We tell ourselves if this problem goes away we will be a better person and will try to make up for mistakes in the past.

4. DEPRESSION: We feel depressed as we anticipate various kinds of changes in our living situations or even the loss of our own lives if we are suffering from a serious illness.

5. ACCEPTANCE: After moving through the previous steps we can finally accept what cannot change. We may no like the experience but we can accept it and move on with our lives.

Moving through these five stages is necessary to complete the grieving process successfully. Sadly, some people never reach the final stage. And sometimes it is necessary to go back and repeat some of the stages before we can finally reach inner peace of the acceptance stage.

Which stage are you in?

This site has been great for four of the stages. But really rotten for the necessary stage of anger. Anyone who has expressed any form of anger here has been punished in one way or the other.

True healing requires all five stages. Which one are you in?

im in the 1st stage

*PreciousFlower hugs flower_and_friends.

I didn't want to believe it either. It was .. sur-real. Not real to me but the reality was banging on my mind forcing me to re watch the episode Journey's End. I watched it several times, hoping what I had heard and seen was just a dream.

But the episode ended the same way every time. I went to the other forums to protect myself against future shocks and found out the real truth of Flower's death.

Which brought on the stage of Anger. I still think the producers owe all Merkat Manor watchers a huge applogy.

I've seen the Bargaining stage on this memorial countless times. Never reply to those threads. My anger stage overshawdowed that stage. My bargaining stage was very brief. It was mixed in with the Denial stage.

The Depression stage began with the denial stage. For months I could not keep a dry eye whenever I thought of Flower. The Depression stage ran deep during the huge Anger stage. Depression is anger turned inward. It happens when the expression of Anger is NOT considered to be acceptable. I've already stated this site is horrid in terms of expressing anger in grief. This site made both worse.

I think the producers of Meerkat Manor have wisen up. It is good they are not bringing the show back on until the summer of 2008. They need to allow healing to progress and bringing the show on sooner than that will just re-open old wounds.

I left this site for over 6 months because it was causing the anger and depression to only worsen.

The Acceptance stage for me began in the mixture of the Anger and Depression stages. It began when I adopted my puppy Flower, who is now 9 months old, whom I named after Flower Whiskers.

Those of my friends who did not watch Meerkat Manor thought I named my puppy after Flower in the movie Bambi. That Flower was a skunk. Bambi had named the skunk Flower because he found Flower in a Flower patch.

But I had named her after Flower Whiskers and have told them so. And my puppy Flower has lived up to her name.

She has protected me from a gang of dogs: 3 pitbulls and 1 german shepard who had surrounded us with growling, barred teeth. Flower attacked them. It was over in less than a minute. The other dogs were fleeing away and Flower, my then 7 month old puppy, was barking at them, as if telling them off, "YEAH!! RUN AWAY!! FEAR ME!! "

Flower wanted to complete chasing them off, but I told her we needed to Go Home. My shoulder was in a lot of pain from the quick movements she had made in defending me. The lease was still on my wrist. I've since have had to have shoulder surgery to repair the damage, but I'm safe, and so is my Heroic Flower.

I believe I've come to the stage of Acceptance. And my puppy Flower helped me to get there.

May all of you reach the Acceptance stage. I shall always miss Flower Whiskers. She holds a place in my heart like all the other pets I've had through my life and who have died in the past.

Yo precious

This is a wonderful helpful post. Thank you.

I am glad your Flower has lived up to her namesake and has helped your healing process.

I have long past the acceptance stage and now think of Flower, fondly. She is a treasure to me that I will never forget and she lives on in my mind and heart.

One of the things that helped me the most was gaining knowledge and understanding of the typical meerkat lifecycle. There is a section about the lifecycle of the meerkat under Life History on the FKMP site now.

http://friends.kalahari-meerkats.com/index.php?id=lifecycle

Hopefully many will move forward when Season 4 airs and viewers see just how much Flower left us all.

Though life will never be the same without the Flower of the Kalahari, her daughters are doing her proud. She has left us many hidden treasures to dig up, discover, learn about and love.

She will reign as the Queen of Meerkats in my heart forever.

Pronker

I have accepted Flower's death as I have my Mother's death and a brother's death.

I will always remember Flower as a strong and couragous leader. Her determinination to make sure her family survived the Kalahari desert is one of the many memories I have of her.
Along with Pronker, Flower will always live in my heart!

Eruth

I am in stage 4....I've been in it for a looooooooooooong time.

Definitely acceptance. Denial only lasted for a couple hours. Anger... I was a little irritable for a couple of days. I don't remember the bargaining stage. Depression went along with the anger. It lasted about two days. And, acceptance came rather quickly.

Hope you all in the earlier stages feel better soon. It always helped me to think of Flower frolicing with Len, Squiggy, and everyone else that passed before her.

Preciousflower, this is a wonderfull topic. I'am in the Acceptance stage now. Reading the book, Meerkat Manor by Tim clutton-Brock, has helped me understand Meerkat society alot better.

I think I was in Denial throughout much of season three. I was in shock and in a daze through much of it. So many bad things happend and we lost so many kats. Then of coarse our precious Flower. So the book helped me come to terms with it. Pronker is also right, the life cycle of meerkats on the FKMP site is a great help too.

Flower will always be in my heart, along with Mozart, and Kinkajou and De la Soul, and Len and poor precious Sguiggy. So many of them. I love them all, and now I understand just how hard it is for them. I look forward to seeing Flowers daughters, she did leave a huge legacy for us to follow. Hugs.

Good morning everyone. I have come to be in the Acceptance stage. Even though I cannot watch season 3 again yet, I know that the life cycle can be cruel. I miss our precious Flower, along with Mozart and the others.

Hello everyone,


I thought i was over greiving but i have reasantly gone through the hole process again i cant seem to exept the fact that flower is gone.I have been blocking out all things to do with meerkats including this site. I to miss here so much i seem to often mistake rocketdog for her and think i am seeeing flower rather the RD.

Hi ever1 nice topic

Well for myself I am at stage 1-2-3 and 4 and now just see that Wilson is dead now not helping with those stages wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (sorry for those who didn't know sure hope its not true....snifff)

Tomorrow nite will be Mozart last day with Wilson... Omg so nervous and sad already and it's not friday yet....tomorrow show will be my day of crying I guess.....

I'm working on another tribute for Mozart.... Will keep you posted when its done in my topic...

Take care everyone♥♥♥

♥Natalka♥

Even though it has been more then a year, I am still at the "shock" stage with Flower's death. Every time I see her name I can't believe that she is gone. I feel the same way with Mozart and Carlos, also. I feel sad about the deaths of the other meerkats, but am not as shocked with it as I am with these three because I have known them from the first two seasons of the show.

This is such a great thread. I love Elizabeth Kubler Ross; what she did to bring the knowledge and acceptance of grieving to a large part of America back in the 1960's and 1970's was phenomenal.

I am in the acceptance stage of her death; although I still am sad whenever I think of Meerkat Manor: she should be there and on the show. For me she was the nucleus and now I look forward in a bittersweet way to see her offspring flourish in the Kalahari. Nature can be so cruel.
The information that Pronker gave is so right on...when you read about the typical meerkat life cycle it puts their life history into perspective. With Flower; one can see that she truly had a great life and served her family well. I will miss her dearly and when the season starts and I see RD's name in the intro, I know I will feel this deep pit in my stomach. But life does go on.

again- thanks for the post

I am well beond the first state. I cry every time I think of Flower, and I can't explain how much I miss her...... I just can't let her go..........

Oops, I thought it was only about Flower. But whenever a meerkat dies, I am beond the first state. I never let the meerakt that dies go..........

I guess I’m on stage 4 I would like someday to be on stage 5. I still think of her a lot. I don't know what stage I will be in when season 4 will air and flowers name will not be announced.

It's okay to still cry. It's the missing of someone special which can still bring on the tears. It's been over a year since Flower died and not quite a year since I found out about it because the episode was not aired in the united states until the end of september.

The fact that you still shed a tear is testimony to the greatness of the little meerkat and to the humaness of your soul.

I never say the eposdie of her death my rents did. They got me hooked the don't wacth any more but I can't stay away from the T.V. I have gotten over her death but she still in my heart.

I stopped watching for awhile after the last season ended. I would like to start again but i dont really know what time its on. I still cant believe Flower is gone.