OK so I know that guys don't like to express emotion and everything like that, but I feel I am making excuses for him and I shouldn't be so blind - please give me your opinion:

I was the first to ask him out and then to say I love you, but he did return the I love you right away. He has no problem telling me he loves me and does nice things for me just because.
That seems great and everything, but he always downplays our relationship to his friends(not that we aren't together, but that we aren't talking about marriage, which we are). He refuses to have our parents meet after 2 years of dating and they are only an hour away from each other. He won't tell me I love you if there are other people around, but he will be slightly affectionate(neither of us are a fan of PDA).
Whenever I bring it up, he tells me he doesn't want to involve others in OUR relationship and that I should need him to tell others as long as he tells me and means it. That seems logical, I just don't want to be mislead.
Are these warning signs that he isn't as committed to the relationship as I think he is or does he just not want to share his feelings with other people?

Half the stuff you mentioned are no big deal and others are reason for concern.

The part where you asked him out first, said I love you first, etc are not big problems. He just doesn't sound like someone who likes to take charge and probably is a bid reserved or embarrased to do these things.

Now the bad news - if you two are talking marriage and he still doesn't want the parents to meet? Man that is bad. And he wanting to downplay your relationship to friends is not good. If he really is in love with you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you he should be shouting out to the world how much he loves you. In marriage the main point is to gather friends and family so everyone can hear the committment made to one another. So what is he planning on doing for his wedding since he doesn't want people to know he loves you? I guess he might be planning on taking you to Vegas where only Elvis will hear he loves you. I would hold on any serious discussions of engagements with him until he grows up a bit and uderstands what relationships are all about.

my husband is always choosing the bars over me. Is that a problem? Should I be worried. He will spend so much money at the bar even if we do not have the money.

My boyfriend is the same exact way, we have been dating for almost 3 years now and he isnt the kind of person who expresses his feelings infront of his friends. I did meet his parents and he met mines, after a year. I regret meeting his parents because i dont get along with them.
To me, these might be some major warning signs especially if your talking about marriage. Ive tried to discuss the topic to my bf about marriage and he just tells me that he doesnt wanna talk about the future yet. Girls have a feeling of pushing committment to fast because we always need to know our life will be stable and to know our bf wont go doing something stupid. Ive pushed my bf over the limit once and i just stopped talking about it and just wait till hes ready. If you really feel suspicious, then maybe you should try to take a step up and find things out. Sure it sounds like your gonna manipulate him, but nobody should have to deal with it.