My boyfriend of 13 months keeps breaking up with me... and it's seriously always over really stupid, silly things. For example, the last time he broke up with me, it was because I wanted us to have sex, but he was too tired... so I got upset and took it personally, but because I was upset he got irritated with me, and refused to talk to me. Which inevitably led to him ignoring me for 2 days, and saying he "couldn't deal" with "it" anymore.

The last few times he's dumped me (over much less important arguments), he's told me how he doesn't know what he wants... which gives me the impression it's not me... only to text me a couple days later telling me how much of a mess he is without me, and a few more days later to show up at my house and tell me he loves me, how I'm the one for him. I trust him when he tells me both that he loves me and that he misses me once he breaks up with me, but I don't understand why he does in the first place? He's terrible with communication, it seems every time he gets upset he runs away from the problem... but I can't even dare bring that up in conversation, for fear of him dumping me!? Will this go away? Can I condition this out of him, or am I just being naive... I don't want to walk away, he's my life... I just don't know what to do.

You bf has a long way to go to mature into a very understanding and well balanced partner for you. There is no quick fix to his problem or anything you can say to straighten him out. Over time (I mean years here) he certainly can move in the right direction given the right direction and him wanting to change himself.

So really this boils down to what you need in your life. If you are ok with the present situation to last much much longer and you are committed to helping him improve then stay the course. From what you wrote it sounds like you are tired of the games this guy plays and you want to get on with life so if that is the case cut your losses and move on.