I've always been a pretty savvy shopper, and have a reputation for being well-dressed, but I'm finding middle age tricky.
I recently turned 45(still have good skin, though), wear a size XL-2X, and am in a wheelchair from a massive cerebral hemorrhage several years ago.
The very last impression in the world that I want to give off is that of a woman whose attitude is "Woe is me; I'm not young anymore, I'm overweight and in a wheelchair, so I don't care about my appearance any more. Who's going to look at me, anyway?"
That's not at all the way I feel. I look good, though I don't look like I did when I was 25.
And I'm very glad to still be here, and I love getting "dolled up."
I have no problem whatsoever with makeup; my look is very modern(with touches of shimmer, but I've abandoned the glitter), and I wear it well.
Clothes, though, are a bit trickier.
I'm a fairly conservative person, though not radically so, and I find myself drawn to styles like simple tailored blazers and cardigans.
So I feel like I sometimes risk looking "old lady," though I'm not an old lady.
At the same time, I don't want to fall into the "If-I-wear-the-same-styles-as-the-teenagers-I'll-look-young" trap.
Advice, anyone?
How can one reliably judge what looks "too old?"

A lot of ladies I know wear tailored blazers - and the biggest difference *I* can tell between the ones the "older" ladies are wearing and what the "ladies under 50" wear seems to be color (what is it with older ladies & peach/pale aqua?) - and length. It seems that the older you are, the longer the blazers are supposed to fall. Oh, and tailoring... you seem to lose your license for wearing a blazer with any side-seaming once you turn 60.

So at least from what I've observed, a nice neutral or deep-colored blazer with actual tailoring that ends anywhere higher than the widest part of your hips would be "younger."

Oh yes - and notched collars... I don't see those on any of the "under 50" group either.

Would this help you any? Clothes that are appropriate for a 35 year old are usually appropriate for anyone 35 and up.

The issues are fit, flattering shapes, and wearing the right clothes for the activity, not the age of the wearer. That inappropriate stuff that the teens wear is inappropriate for them, too. No one wants to see their chubby tummies.

Don't confuse "conservative" with "dead as a doornail stuff from CC." A Chanel suit is conservative; a denim jumper over a red turtle is DAsaADSfCC.

Many folks have to deal with their old wardrobes due to uneducated shopping, but you are buying new things, I see. Don't buy old style things. No matter what your age.

Fashion is an art form that anyone can practice.
Educate your eye by looking over fashion sites like Elle Magazine, WHMB, JCrew, and Neiman. Then, find the new things that flatter you in your own price range and size.

I'm with Pres on this. whatever current style you want for a woman our age and/or plus size is out there being worn succesfully and sold in stores.
I am conservative but modern. they don't have to be terms that fight with each other. if i wear a knee length or slightly above skirt i pair it with a buttonfront or if i wear a strapless i make sure the skirt is long enough. these are not our grandparents or even our parents' time. 'conservative' is a very broad term and means different things to different people.
i love makeup and i apply it liberally. i am 'a Mystery wrapped in an Enigma' and i'm ok with that~for me i'm still within the definition of how i want to express myself.
here are some of my top picks for designers/lines that do plus size beautifully:
michael kors
rachel pally
maggy london
donna ricco
ralph lauren
semantinks by Nordstrom
kiyonna

quote:

Originally posted by pres10514:
Would this help you any? Clothes that are appropriate for a 35 year old are usually appropriate for anyone 35 and up.

The issues are fit, flattering shapes, and wearing the right clothes for the activity, not the age of the wearer. That inappropriate stuff that the teens wear is inappropriate for them, too. No one wants to see their chubby tummies.

Don't confuse "conservative" with "dead as a doornail stuff from CC." A Chanel suit is conservative; a denim jumper over a red turtle is DAsaADSfCC.

Many folks have to deal with their old wardrobes due to uneducated shopping, but you are buying new things, I see. Don't buy old style things. No matter what your age.

Fashion is an art form that anyone can practice.
Educate your eye by looking over fashion sites like Elle Magazine, WHMB, JCrew, and Neiman. Then, find the new things that flatter you in your own price range and size.

All of this does help considerably, thank you.
I feel a little bit better, because I despise pale peach, and while aqua can be a good color on me, since I have green eyes, I hate that "powdery" pale aqua. I tend toward a more saturated bluegreen or even teal.
And the thought of a denim jumper with a red turtleneck makes me shudder.
So maybe I'm not hopeless, after all.
I rather think that I'm trying to shop at an awkward between seasons time, when selection is less than optimal.
But maybe I can at least do my "homework," and can figure out what to look for in a few weeks, when the fall stuff really starts appearing.
Of course, here in Texas, it will probably be 90+ until November or so, but that's another thread ...

Back in the 1990s I discovered several clothing catalogues, including Coldwater Creek, LL Bean, Orvis and Lands End, and I thought that the clothes were great. Now, when I look at their websites, it appears as if they are carrying the same clothes they did 10 or 15 years ago. Even the models on the LL Bean site look frumpy — and they are models. I can only imagine how frumpy the rest of us would look.

I believe that these stores did well back in the day because there were so few choices for mail-order shopping. And many of the customers from back then have stayed loyal, relying on these retailers to provide them with age-appropriate styles. As a result, they don't look elsewhere or they assume that anything different is too trendy. These stores feel safe because there is no risk of buying something too young.

But I have to assume that anyone who comes to this forum wants to look modern, so I concur with the others in saying that Coldwater Creek is not the way to go. If you want safe (no risk of looking too young or too trendy), there are other choices. For example, Chadwicks have kept most of their clothing up to date even though they are still very conservative. Others, like j.jill, have some modern clothes and some frumpy. But they both carry women's sizes.

quote:

Originally posted by buffycan:


If you want safe (no risk of looking too young or too trendy), there are other choices. For example, Chadwicks have kept most of their clothing up to date even though they are still very conservative. Others, like j.jill, have some modern clothes and some frumpy. But they both carry women's sizes.

It's funny that you should mention Chadwick's and J. Jill, because I like both of those sites, and have ordered from them.
My main trouble with both of them is seeing something I really like, clicking on it, and discovering that it doesn't come in my size.
And, I giggled when you mentioned Land's End and L. L. Bean, since I used to order from them all the blessed time!
I still, every great once in a while, buy a layer-friendly basic, like a solid-color jewelneck sweater, from Land's End.
However, for the most part, their selection just doesn't appeal to me anymore.
I guess I can file that away under "What was I thinking?"

There are certain cultural sub-groups that prefer the LL Bean, Lands End and/or Orvis "look". If you belong to one of those subgroups, you know who you are. If you don't, you will find better choices for most items elsewhere.

quote:

There are certain cultural sub-groups that prefer the LL Bean, Lands End and/or Orvis "look". If you belong to one of those subgroups, you know who you are.

well said, donya. if that's what people like, they should enjoy their clothes/styles! we can't all shop at the same stores, we're all different and have different styles. if CC calls your name again and again maybe that's just your style~ or jcrew, or nordies, or BR!

As with anything else, one has to cherry pick what is on offer. Those of us with fit challenges should grab what works for us wherever we find it, as long as it works with the budget. Coldwater Creek clearly isn't afraid of color and that is very attractive to those looking for color. They were also the first place to offer flat pricing as a policy - many stores charge both petites and plus sizes more. The shapes tend to be boxy but may work well for apple shaped women. Their faux wrap tops and occasional t shirt work well for me, but I don't buy anything else there now. In the past, I have purchased a couple of dresses and taken them in at the waist.

There was a time when LL Bean was "in"; all the kids in school had their backpacks and duckboots. My parents have been long-standing customers of both Bean and Lands End. Both have offered sturdy clothing and products that are well constructed of quality materials, and superb customer service and return policies / guarantees. Not sure how Lands End may have changed since it was bought out by Sears. Both seem to have been the kind of company I would trust and want to do business with, but sadly far from fashion forward. LL Bean says I'm either retired or teach school and live in New England while Lands End screams I am Midwestern and happy to be comfy and frumpy. No offense to any demographics mentioned.

quote:

Originally posted by donyap:
As with anything else, one has to cherry pick what is on offer. Those of us with fit challenges should grab what works for us wherever we find it, as long as it works with the budget. Coldwater Creek clearly isn't afraid of color and that is very attractive to those looking for color.

You hit upon one of the primary reasons Coldwater Creek appeals to me: COLOR!
Since my body is pretty much a wreck, I try to play up other elements of my appearance, like my pretty face and lovely coloring.
Since I have "high-contrast" coloring ( pinkish ivory skin, dark brown hair, bright green eyes) I crave strong, saturated color, and I consistently find that at Coldwater Creek.
I have no plans to stop shopping Coldwater Creek altogether, but I do plan to be more careful when I shop there, and I'll browse other stores as well.
Going gently into the good(?) night of dumpiness is just not for me.

I have found the quality at Chadwicks to have gone dramatically downhill in the few years, so I returned the last three orders, and toss their catalogs.

Anyone have any experience with Chicos, a new store in my city?

My take on Chico's:
Colors - great
Sizing - wierd
Quality - meh

Found 2 cool pieces on sale but won't expect them to last more than one season.

To me, Chico's screams old lady. The flowy, wide-leg palazzo pants and long tunic tops with no structure. It is comfortable, I'm sure, but I think we all reach a certain point when we need more structure and not less in our wardrobes.

Even though it *does* have a notch collar, I rather like this jacket in "marine Blue."
I think even the "Taupe" could work on me, with maybe a teal or berry blouse underneath.
Speaking of jackets, something I'm seeing a lot of lately is the "boyfriend" jacket. In a lot of the incarnations I've seen, this type of jacket is unstructured almost to the point of looking sloppy. Should I avoid this style, in spite of the fact that isn't very "now"?

quote:

Originally posted by CNo64:
Should I avoid this style, in spite of the fact that isn't very "now"?

I'm not allowed to edit, so I'll quote myself.
I meant, of course, "Should I avoid this style, in spite of the fact that it IS very 'now'?"
SHEESH!

It depends on what the other elements of the ensemble are like. The Boyfriend jacket is long, and the position of the stance (where the buttons are) is low. They look really good with the sleeves rolled up to just below the elbow, especially if a silk lining with a menswear pattern is showing at the roll.

If you have a structured shirt, with a crisp collar, and some neat, small vertical ruffles, and you add a very narrow scarf (not filmy or poufy) looped around the back of the neck and visible on either side of the vee of the jacket, creating good crisp structure, it might work for you.

Another terrific trick is to drape a "hand tied" men's bow tie around the collar, but not tie it. The shirt can be striped, and the tie a dark plaid or solid. This is a very smoky menswear look.

I'm still looking for the right "boyfriend" jacket, but I like this jacket from Talbot's.
I'd have to budget a bit for it, but I can do that, especially since it isn't dry clean.

Oops; I don't think that link worked!
Try this one.

Oh, blast it!
If this one won't work, forget it!
If anyone's sufficiently interested, which I wouldn't be by now, it's the dot jacket in "rouge" at Talbots.com.

I already own this top in "jewel purple."

I really like it, but because its sleeves are very short, and my upper arms unattractive, I prefer to wear something over it.
Anyone have any suggestions about the type of jacket or cardigan that would look best with this?

Soft & fuzzy - cashmere maybe? Like... This in rain or black, maybe. Oh, or what about This one?

Not over, under. Wear a black, or midnight navy, long sleeved knit under the jewel top. It shouldn't show at the neckline.

About the dot jacket, don't buy it; for many reasons. It will be difficult to support. Find a BF jacket in a more traditional fabric, like a fine pinstripe, menswear blend.

PS, those JJill things are unstructured, boxy loose sweaters. Look for something with more visible seaming. They could work (barely) with a very structured underlayer, and some knife sharp pants; high heels.

quote:

Originally posted by pres10514:


About the dot jacket, don't buy it; for many reasons.

It won't be a difficult "pass."
This one from Macy's is *somewhat* similar, and I can do that color as long as I wear the right makeup.
Sheesh; when I wasn't especially looking for a boyfriend jacket, it seemed like they were all over the place, but now I can't seem to find the right one.

quote:

Originally posted by pres10514:
Not over, under. Wear a black, or midnight navy, long sleeved knit under the jewel top. It shouldn't show at the neckline.

I must confess, I had not thought of wearing something *under,* but that sounds great, especially since then I wouldn't need to feel self-conscious about the slight low-ness of the neckline of the top.
Cool, thanks!

quote:

Originally posted by CNo64:

quote:

Originally posted by pres10514:


About the dot jacket, don't buy it; for many reasons.

It won't be a difficult "pass."
This one from Macy's is *somewhat* similar, and I can do that color as long as I wear the right makeup.
Sheesh; when I wasn't especially looking for a boyfriend jacket, it seemed like they were all over the place, but now I can't seem to find the right one.

Very nice alternative. Add a bright color under, or a scarf draped high on the neck to change the reflectivity on your skin. The good, neutral print of the jacket will support many printed shirts or scarves.

quote:

Originally posted by pres10514:



Very nice alternative. Add a bright color under, or a scarf draped high on the neck to change the reflectivity on your skin. The good, neutral print of the jacket will support many printed shirts or scarves.

I'm thinking maybe red underneath, since red with black and white is a classic combination, and red is one of my very best colors.
And black on bottom?

Okay, I guess I've jumped on the Cardigan Bandwagon, because today I bought this one, in the grey color, from Ann Taylor Loft.
Since it's cotton (I live in Texas), machine washable, and a terrific neutral color, I expect to get lots of wear out of it.
I'd been looking for a grey cardigan that doesn't look like something Granny Clampett would wear, for the past couple of seasons. I wanted grey because it works better with my coloring than some other neutrals like ivory, tan or brown. Oatmeal, particularly, is the Kiss of Death on me.

Cute!

In looking back through this thread I noticed some references to Coldwater Creek. With the exception of my favorite Aspenwood and Willow fit pants, now discontinued , I haven't ordered from there in a long time because of fit and quality issues. But recently I had the occasion to be near one of their stores so I went in to have a look around. What I found were some really nice things! I agree that their offerings fell short for a while, but I think they have stepped up their game a bit.

Using some discounts I had accumulated, I got two blouses and a vest that are very nicely fitted, and also a pair of the softest corduroy pants. All of these are in my favorite winter palette of black and gray, unembellished and classically styled. I don't think they look at all "old" or "old-fashioned"...but then I am 58 .

Anyway, if you're a former CC fan who has been disappointed in the past, you may want to give them another try.

quote:

Originally posted by ellyabillion:
Cute!

Thanks; I expect to really enjoy it!
I even have a burgundy top very similar to the one worn by the model in the product photo.
And a long necklace.
I guess I'm set.

quote:

Originally posted by cristalle.1:
In looking back through this thread I noticed some references to Coldwater Creek. I think they have stepped up their game a bit.



Anyway, if you're a former CC fan who has been disappointed in the past, you may want to give them another try.

I'm a CWC customer who has had some less than wonderful experiences with them in the past. I still do browse their site occasionally, and have noticed some changes recently.
It's almost as if someone associated with the company has been reading the remarks on this forum, and caught on to CC's reputation for offering dated and unflattering styles. There's quite a bit of talk in the copy of "new," "updated," "more flattering," etc.
I'm still going to be very selective about what I buy from CC, as well as from any other store.

quote:

Originally posted by CNo64:
Okay, I guess I've jumped on the Cardigan Bandwagon, because today I bought this one, in the grey color, from Ann Taylor Loft.

I love that cardigan - what a great alterative to a jacket.

quote:

Originally posted by buffycan:



I love that cardigan - what a great alterative to a jacket.

That's exactly what I thought when I saw it; thanks!
Though it's a cardigan sweater, it has quite a bit of structure, and looks modern, at least in my opinion.
What a great shade of gray, too!
I can imagine it looking terrific with purple, burgundy, red, royal blue, certain pinks, and teal, all of which are well-represented in my wardrobe.

Look at This One

Ooohhh, Pres, I WANT!!

quote:

Originally posted by pres10514:
Look at This One

I love that one, too!
I noticed it when I was browsing the ATL site, but concluded that the gray one would work best with the rest of my wardrobe.
I'm finding all sorts of goodies on that site! <drools>

CNo64, I really like the ATL cardigan! I've never shopped ATL...but based on what I've been seeing here I may start! Since I'd be shopping online I'm wondering if the size charts are reliable. It would be nice to get it right the first time .

I'm also wondering about Banana Republic as I've seen a belted cardi that could be a great addition to my winter wardrobe!

I think the size chart is accurate if you have a proportional hourglass figure. If that makes any sense.

I have more of a boyish figure in that I don't have much of a waist. I just bought a petal t-shirt from ATL in a size small. If I go by my bust size, a size small fits my measurement, but if I go by my waist measurement, I would need a large, but a large shirt would practically fall off me.

Their sizing is somewhat consistent, but again, this may have to do with the vagaries of my body type. I noticed that if I tried on something more fitted, a small fit me better, but it it was blousy, an xs fit better. I think it has to do with my waist size.

quote:

Originally posted by pres10514:
.

Don't buy old style things. No matter what your age.

.

A difficulty I seem to have sometimes is distinguishing between "old" and "classic."
For example, a sweater set(which I've always considered "classic") in a good cotton knit, would be a useful addition to my autumn wardrobe,considering the coool -mornings-that-warm-to-downright-hot-by-early-afternoon days we often have here in the Dallas area this time of year.
But would the standard jewelneck-cardigan-over-matching-jewelneck-shell version look dated, do you think?
Mine would be in a vibrant color, BTW, since I just don't do pastels.

quote:

Originally posted by cristalle.1:
CNo64, I really like the ATL cardigan! I've never shopped ATL...but based on what I've been seeing here I may start! Since I'd be shopping online I'm wondering if the size charts are reliable. It would be nice to get it right the first time .

I'm also wondering about Banana Republic as I've seen a belted cardi that could be a great addition to my winter wardrobe!

I've had trouble with ATL size charts before, but that was about 4 years ago. According to the size chart I'm a XS/2P around the bust, a M/8 at the waist, and a L/12P around the hips. I usually BUY a small petite top and 6 or 8 regular bottom. I also recently bought the petal t-shirt and was glad I was shopping in a store because I had to go up to a M for the shoulders to fit. I also got a few cotton sweaters, and got the regular size so I had enough room for the sleeves to shrink, as I have had trouble with ATL shrinkage before - especially with jeans!
Bottom line, shop when shipping is free, order a couple sizes, and account for return shipping in your budget

Thanks for your advice Elly and Britt! Since there's an ATL in a nearby town I think I may wait until I can go to the store and try on. In the past I've sometimes spent nearly the equivalent of an item's cost on shipping and returning fees, so I'm being a lot more selective in what I order. However...I saw a BR sweater online that I really love , but there isn't a BR nearby.

LOL CNo64, just when I think I have a classic in my closet I find out that it isn't...it's just old.

quote:

just when I think I have a classic in my closet I find out that it isn't...it's just old.

Preach it! i spent wayyy too much money/time/effort researching 'classic' looks so i could have a wardrobe full of them and not worry about updating unless something ripped/faded, etc. oh yea, don't you know? i was told about this 'book'...
HA! biggest scam/heapin' helpin' of Dumb.
clothes change, styles change, hemlines, shoulders, necklines, colors change and date and one unlucky day you look at your closet and everything went bad at the same time and you have nothing good to wear.
don't try this at home. save yourselves the heartache and the headache. introducing a couple outfits each year per season (cost doesn't have to be exhorbitant, shop sales, everything can be found at any price points) will help against this happening and will introduce some modern fits/color/touches to your existing wardrobe, which will help extend it further.

CNo64, sweater sets are really useful in the South. Pres recently recommended against sets, saying an unmatched pair would look newer. I discovered, last winter, that I could undate a set by belting the underneath sweater with a 3" belt and make it look more up-to-date. I don't care for the belt-over-cardigan look (I would be constantly "fixing" it as it would not stay put) but under the cardigan really looked good.

quote:

Originally posted by gobaygo:
CNo64, sweater sets are really useful in the South. Pres recently recommended against sets, saying an unmatched pair would look newer.

I'm thinking maybe I could pair my gray ATL cardigan (see above) with a rose or berry short sleeve sweater underit, and a loong sparkly necklace. I'm thinking that would function like a sweater set, but look more up to date.

I think that's what Pres meant. Maybe she will tell us.

I like matching "twin sets" (maybe that's my age showing) unless the cardi is a pattern. I prefer the underneath piece to be a solid. I also like the look of the underneath sweater belted. I usually use a narrow belt because of my thick middle. I do belt some of my cardis, and in thinking about it, it seems to be the ones with v-necks that look better (on me) belted. I would like to hear Pres' take on sweater sets. I don't have any matching sets in my closet right now, but I've been thinking of getting one this fall. Should I...or shouldn't I?

quote:

Originally posted by CNo64:



I guess I can file that away under "What was I thinking?"

Okay, be prepared to be appalled, shocked, and revolted, because I used to love this type of sweater.
Notice the past tense. This type of clothing hasn't even been on my "radar" in years.
This type of sweater might be all right for a grandmother to wear while serving cookies to her grandchildren, but for a young(late 20s to mid 30s)woman living in a large metropolitan city, not so much.
No, I really don't know what I was thinking.