According to many people, Matt concedes to Amy when it comes to matters of discipline and cleanliness. Why does this not make him a cowardly, indifferent, ineffective parent?

Why is he excused for being a non-involved (on a day-to-day basis) parent? If Amy were beating the kids, would you excuse him for not being involved? What's the difference when, in the end,it boils down to the kids' welfare and the kids aren't well-served?

Hasn't there been much criticism of Matt for his non-involvement? He has not gone unscathed by posters' opinions of his approach which says it's easier to give in than to fight. Perhaps it all started when he was away in the earlier days.

However, taking a longer view, talking about how a couple will raise children is an important part of the pre-marriage discussions, more so than how many people to invite to the wedding or how big the ring should be. That's the way to start out. But I think most people think it will be done by the way they think it should be, not realizing that the partner has totally different opinions. Amy said that she determined early that she didn't want her house to be like her mother's where all was in order. This was an important statement--a bit too late, unfortunately.

It does make him that kind of parent, Sideliner.
It's just a lot easier to talk about parenting than it is to do it. It IS easier to sit idly by, or fiddle with ordering fake snow, than it is to hammer out rules and provide consistent guidance/enforcement to a bunch of willful and moody teenagers. Looks like he took that route.

It's been mentioned that he never has been the type of person to order kids about, and whether that subject came up before the kids arrived or not, I don't know, but it is certainly within Rita's point.

quote:

Originally posted by ritarig:
Hasn't there been much criticism of Matt for his non-involvement?

Interesting that the responses so far are from those who have criticized Matt (and Amy) but not those who have harshly criticized only Amy. I'm waiting for them to answer these questions.

I've been thinking that Matt wants the kids to stay home. I see him turning their home into the Ewing (of Dallas fame) ranch. He'll get to keep building onto the house as the kids come home with spouses. He'll have to drum up a profitable business so that everyone can be gainfully employed, despite their lack of education and skills.

quote:

Originally posted by sideliner:

quote:

Originally posted by ritarig:
Hasn't there been much criticism of Matt for his non-involvement?

Interesting that the responses so far are from those who have criticized Matt (and Amy) but not those who have harshly criticized only Amy. I'm waiting for them to answer these questions.

I've been thinking that Matt wants the kids to stay home. I see him turning their home into the Ewing (of Dallas fame) ranch. He'll get to keep building onto the house as the kids come home with spouses. He'll have to drum up a profitable business so that everyone can be gainfully employed, despite their lack of education and skills.

Yes, but isn't that attitude selfish and short sighted? The kids need to find their own way. Mom and Dad won't be around forever and they need to build their own lives.

quote:

Originally posted by treespryt:

quote:

Originally posted by sideliner:

quote:

Originally posted by ritarig:
Hasn't there been much criticism of Matt for his non-involvement?

Interesting that the responses so far are from those who have criticized Matt (and Amy) but not those who have harshly criticized only Amy. I'm waiting for them to answer these questions.

I've been thinking that Matt wants the kids to stay home. I see him turning their home into the Ewing (of Dallas fame) ranch. He'll get to keep building onto the house as the kids come home with spouses. He'll have to drum up a profitable business so that everyone can be gainfully employed, despite their lack of education and skills.

Yes, but isn't that attitude selfish and short sighted? The kids need to find their own way. Mom and Dad won't be around forever and they need to build their own lives.

Why, yes it is selfish and short-sighted....

Yes, I think the kids need to find their own way. But will they? We'll all stay tuned.

Meanwhile, the Amy detractors remain mute.

Bola?

10001, etc.?

hark16?

Can't defend your opinions?

At this point I feel we're selling some of the kids short. Molly's gonna be fine if she perseveres. Jeremy looks as if he is realizing that they've really screwed up, he may redeem himself yet. Jacob's too young to give up on. Honestly if we'd been having this discussion last year I would have sworn that Zach would be the one in college but not now. He's just not able at this time to prioritize his life in a way that will get him out of the mess he's made.

quote:

Originally posted by treespryt:
At this point I feel we're selling some of the kids short.

Actually, I'm thinking about the twins in the short run. I've a feeling that Jacob won't repeat the mistakes of his brothers (Molly's on cruise control, no worries there). I, too, think that Jeremy is coming around, realizing his mistakes.

For now, I think the twins' maturity is delayed.

quote:

Originally posted by treespryt:
At this point I feel we're selling some of the kids short. Molly's gonna be fine if she perseveres. Jeremy looks as if he is realizing that they've really screwed up, he may redeem himself yet. Jacob's too young to give up on. Honestly if we'd been having this discussion last year I would have sworn that Zach would be the one in college but not now. He's just not able at this time to prioritize his life in a way that will get him out of the mess he's made.

That was well said. Jeremy has matured quite a bit over time, and, at the very least, has learned that it's a social grace to sit quietly and look at the person speaking. He demonstrated that skill while the college admissions gentleman was speaking. Zach,for reasons yet unknown, sees no need to sit up in his chair and not yawn or look at the ceiling no matter what's going on around him. Like you, I would have sworn Zach would pull off the highest grades of the two--a year or so ago.
Molly seems to be academically inclined because she enjoys academics. Jacob..too soon to tell.

I think life is easier for Jeremy. He is good looking and tall (recent studies suggest that tall people do better in life), and has an easy way about him. Imagine how hard it is for Zach to have him not just for a brother, but for a twin. Must be tough. Zach used to have the intelligence edge over J., but now J. appears to have even gone ahead in that category. And other posters have said that Zach has not gotten over the loss of Mike. That's a lot to deal with.

I agree with you...life as Jeremy is much easier than life as Zach. No question.

In spite of that, Zach's life as a LP adult is not likely to be easier without him polishing up his manners a great deal, and, since he is intelligent, I would have thought he would have grasped that by now. Maybe later.

I think Mike treated Zach like anyone else (at least as far as soccer). Which was wonderful but gave Zach an unrealistic idea of his future. Now he's seeing he won't get what he wants (maybe for the first time in his life).
Jacob, to me, is the one who really misses Mike. They used to do everything together. It's like Jake lost a dad.Matt cannot do everything Mike could but he could do some things. Maybe he does, just off camera.

Seems matt is a spendthirft and amy is a slob, hmm what a great family they have!! Dont take alot to be on tv huh!!