Hi I'm new here. My problem is this: I'm recently separated (from a husband who cheated on me) and have a bf of 8 months. Things are going great except that his "friend" (we'll call her Tina)who is a complete skank. She barely speaks to me and when she does, she's so negative and derogatory of everyone and anyone, including handicapped people (totally insensitive). I have nothing in common with her and I really don't like to be around her. Here's the problem though, when we were all out with a group of people she waits till I leave the room to go over sit in my seat and hang and I mean hang all over my bf whispering in his ear and giggling. So when I come back into the room I see this, wait for her to move (which she DOESN'T!). So I think ok, now what do I do? So I sat down beside her and fumed inside. He did not do anything to discourage her and actually enjoyed it (from my perspective). So she leaves, I say are you ready to go? He says I guess, but the group was going out somewhere else after and wanted us to go. I said you can go I'm going home. So he said ok. We went home. Later we had a huge fight about it. HE does not see that she was only doing this to get to me, to cause problem with us. He just kept saying she's a friend that's all. But if she is a friend, would a friend try to cause trouble? He just doesn't see it. So finally he agreed not to see or talk to her anymore which you would think would make me feel better but somehow it doesn't. So confused, this dating thing is new to me, I was married close to 20 years and never once felt this way. Help any advice?

Well, I feel that he wasn't respecting you. What has happend since then? Is he still talking to her ?

[This message was edited by mod_kelly on 03-04-05 at 01:36 PM.]

Thank you for validating my feelings Jenn. That is exactly how I felt. As far as I know he has not talked to her or seen her since our argument. However, "Tina" is a friend of his sister's also so she is over there all the time and they could be "bumping" into each other there. But as far as I know, no he has not. He tells me I am insecure. Well I challenge you to find a woman whose husband cheated on her not to feel a little once bitten twice shy. The way I'm feeling about this situation is that I should cut my losses and move on.

Hi Skyes of Balloo, well I trully think that it's always good to tell your boyfriend how you feel, usually it helps solve problems. Now in general men loove attention, my boyfriend and I have spoken about it millions of times.

If your boyfriend really loves you then he'll show it by things he does, even if it's little things (mine buys me lunch and tells me I'm beautiful basically every day; he holds my hand or looks lovingly at me). Whenever you feel insecure about your relationship, think back to the things he did. Write them down if you can it'll help

I think a big problem we women have is that we think to much about things, instead of enjoying our time. Usually if you are happy, if you are playful or inventive every once in a while, a guy gets smitten. Do it with your boyfriend, act sexy, surprise him everyonce in a while. Also spend time by yourself enjoying yourself, give him some time to miss you. And hehehehe just out of spite, lol I would flirt with him when she's there.

Friends are very important to everyone, and usually we accept them with their faults when we really care. If he was willing to stop seeing her (and he is in fact doing it) then it means he really does care for you. If you are worried that he's cheating, again I recommend, flirt with him, keep the spark going, show him you care and want him (men go crazy if you show them you want them).

Most of all enjoy yourself. If you just got out of your marrige, enjoy life. Do things for you, so next time you are in a relationship you will display it to your partner. If you're happy with yourself and sure of yourself you will automatically draw men in. Pamper yourself, being with someone is wonderful, but enjoying yourself and spending time with your friends is also good medicine.