When my husband and I first got married I thought everything was perfect. Then I got pregnant and noticed that we weren't making love as often. We'd sometimes go a whole 2 weeks without making love. Then i discovered he was watching porn on pay per view. Then I discovered he was watching porn on the internet. Then I discovered he was calling sex chat line! Each time I discovered something new my esteem went down and down and I felt and still feel, worthless as if I don't compare to those porn actresses. My son is now one month and my husband says he had stopped ever since I broke down and approached him. I haven't found any porn activity except for Late night HBO, but I can't help but want to go through his bank statements, check his cell phone, and check the computer. It's kind of taking over my thoughts and esteem and I want to be the confident young woman I once was. I just feel like I'm not special to him anymore and am very depressed! I thought maybe i was over reacting becuase of pregnancy hormones but it still hurts post partum. It hurts my husbands feelings that I don't trust him and that I keep on asking him why he did these things behind my back. I need help getting through this I can't seem to shake it off.

This is a common problem with couples. One thing that you must understand is that men are very visually stimulated and are attracted to porn much more than women. The other thing you must understand is that men usually don't seek out porn because they are displeased with their wife - they are drawn to the sexual stimulation they get by looking at the sexual actions. Also porn is very addicting and not easy to stop so it's kind of like a drug addict going cold turkey - not easy to shut off the tap.

The good news here is he stopped the activity once you made it clear that it was not acceptable for him to do these things. So he very much cares about you and knows he needs to stay away from these activities.

Last - sex lives are always impacted by pregnancy and childbirth. So the drop off in activitiy probably had little to do with his porn activity. Give it time - it usually takes at least 6 months to a year to get the sex life back to normal (believe me I have 3 kids so know the routine). Your checking his records and being paranoid that he is doing something behind your back is normal and will fade over time as long as you don't catch him in the act again.

I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I discovered my husbands use of porn when our daughter was 7 months old. I expressed my disgust and only had one other incident after that that I am aware of (that was 8 years ago). My husband was also the 'hands off' type when I was pregnant. I learned the hard way that some men like a pregnant body and some just freak and back off. I suggest losing any additional baby fat you may have for you..not for him or anyone else. Treat yourself to some new clothes and remind yourself that you are the one he married, you are the one he chose to spend the rest of his life with. Then take action- do something for his pleasure that may be completely out of your character. You would be suprised at how that can open his eyes.

porn is distroying my marriage.my husband goes on a porn site, and every time i walk in the room he drops the pages. he tels me it's entertainment,but i feel if he has to look at another woman, i am not what he wants anymore. since going on this website, our sex life went from 5-7 times a week to not having sex in over two months! i feel like i am about to give up. any suggestions

Hate to say it but your husband is addicted to porn. He has all the classic symptoms. Don't feel he is doing this because he is more attracted to other women as many times it has nothing to do with that. He gets a rush by looking at this garbage kind of like drug adicts get when they take their drugs. Your only hope is for him to agree that he has a problem and he sees the damage it is doing to his life and marriage. Doesn't sound like he will do this on his own as the status quo is fine for him so you will need to create this crises for him. Sit him down and lay down the law. Tell him you will not accept him looking at this junk anymore. Agree to get him professional help if he needs it as many addicts cannot stop on their own. Tell him you are at your wits end and if he doesn't come around then he might be single real soon.