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Junior Member
Registered: 01-17-08
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I am currently engaged to a wonderful man. I have decided to postpone our engagement because some things are becoming apparent in our relationship. We have nothing in common. We agree on all the important big issues like religion, family, children, ect, but we don't like doing any of the same things, watching the same movies, or really even eating a lot of the same foods. We got together because we are both from the same area and have mutual friends and had our backgrounds and what not to talk about. We were always so busy in our own lifes that we didn't realize how different we were. I love tennis, volleyball, bike riding, swimming, horseback riding, video games, ect. He hates all those kind of things. The only thing we can even do together to have any sort of fun is to play board games together or hang out with friends together. His only interest seem to be cars, motorcycles (I absolutely hate motorcycles), electronics (not video games) and that sort of thing. I love him and I want to be with him but, are we compatable? Hes everything I've ever wanted in a guy, except we have nothing we can do to really have fun together. I'm really outgoing and well, he isn't. We can't even really go out on dates together besides eating out. I'm giving it time and postponing the wedding. I don't believe in divorce and this is a big concern of mine.

We've ran out of ideas of thing to try to do together. To maybe develop something we enjoy doing together. We want something mutual we can do together often without spending much money. Any ideas?
Senior Member
Registered: 04-07-04
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Confused

Kudos to you for putting on hold the wedding plans to ensure everything is ok before making the huge committment of marriage. Too many people ignore warning signs and go ahead and tie the know expecting things will just all work out - of which they usually don't. That's why we have a high divorce rate.

The good news here is that the biggest problem areas are usually around money, religion, children, etc. So knowing you are compatable in these areas is good. However I do agree that if you don't have much in common otherwise it will creat tension. I think you are doing the right things in stepping back and evaluating the situation and then trying to work together to gain common interests. If it doesn't work out then just move on. But you might be surprised that you can find areas that you both can find interest.
Member
Registered: 04-05-07
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Hey, I know one free online dating site called www.vertigosex.com there you can search, contact and talk to single person for free and it’s true that you don’t need to pay to meet girls online. It’s really a best site among of all. Hope this will help you.
Good luck!
Member
Registered: 12-27-07
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Good advice everyone. They are right, every relationship takes compromise. No matter how much two prople say they have in common there will always be instances where the two of you won't see eye to eye. As misfit pointed out you have the foundation of a good strong relationship here it just needs some tweeking. Compromise is the key here. The two of you have to both realize that not everything is going to go your way, thats pretty selfish. You both will have to do things you don't really care to do simply because your mate would like it. A relationship is not all about yourself it is about your significant other. But this must go both ways. As previously suggested sit down and talk about the things you each consider very important and then agree to try each others activity. As someone that you are so in love with and is so important to you, wouldn't you want to know more about what they are into? Even to just show your love and support for them. Here's a personal example. My girlfriends family owns lake front property about 1 1/2 hours north of where we live. She practically grew up spending her summers there. I never had an opportunity to do anything like that. At first I couldn't even see what the big deal was with that. I would rather have stayed home with all my modern comforts. But I gave it a try (because it is so important to her) and now I find that I like it. I have even brought my 3 and 6 year old sons there and they can't wait to go back this summer. Try something new maybe you'll like it. Again it has to go both ways though. Good luck.
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