Hey my name is Jazmyne and my boyfriend makes me mad but, well I hate it when he says something he is gonna do and don't do it ...today he said he was coming over to see me today and he never came and he was wondering why I was mad at him because he always says stuff and not do it. It makes me so mad and he usually is doing something that he can do at home... well he lost track of time playing basketball with his freind...Could someone tell me what i should do to try not to get mad so much??

~Jazmyne~

At one time, I was in a relationship like yours. I finally had enough and when he told me he was going to do something, I popped off and said "yeah, right, like you said you were going to _______...you know, I'm tired of this...If you're going to do something, do it. Don't say you are and not." then I walked off. In this relationship, I didn't see or talk to him again, BUT, in a second relationship like this one, I did the same thing and after I told him this a couple of times, I guess he finally figured it out and he changed his ways. I think if he really cares for you and you do or say something like I did, he'll change. If not, I say "Oh well" and move on. I myself can not stand liars and that's what he sounds like. Sometimes you have to play little games to get your point across. Some guys are just little kids in grown-up bodies, therefore the game playing. Your choice. If you want to play the little games, you might try doing the same thing back to him. Tell him you're going to do something and don't do it. Try it out for a week or two and see how it goes. But if you don't want to play games....forget him, move on.

Well I think if you tell him you will be home and then just leave. He will be mad. Tell him you did it to make a point. That you dont like to be told something that is not going to happen. See what he says. Offer him if he is not sure say that he might come over but he will call before he does to make sure you are home. You shouldnt have to sit around waiting for him..

Is this behavior something I could live happily and/or comfortably with for the rest of my life?

If the answer is "No" then leave him.

I remember hearing a quote once: "Women go into relationships thinking that men will change. Men go into relationships thinking that women will never change. Neigher is correct."

If you're going into a relationship wanting a person to change, then you are wanting to control him. Wanting to control a person is not fair to them and it isn't fair to you, especially since most people never change unless they decide for themselves that they would like to change (and even people who are able to change represent a minority).

If you choose to stay with him indefinately, you might also want to ask yourself, "Would I enjoy getting angry for the rest of my life if he doesn't behave the way I want him to?"

[This message was edited by ajuliagulia on 02-03-04 at 12:59 AM.]

I dated a couple of these types... it gets annoying very fast but when you're so infatuated with the guy you tend to overlook it, which is not good! Don't be blinded... give him some of his own medicine and don't run after him. That's what I regret doing... but I learned