In august of last year I met this amazing girl. She realy turnd my life around almost instantly! We realy connected, she told me she was realy comfortable talking to me and that she felt she could tell me anything. I fell in love with her, I found feelings for her I had never felt for anyone and there is nothing that i wouldnt do for her. Now for the problem, She has been in a relationship with another guy for almost two years now. She tells me how bad he treats her and she is always unhappy because of him. She has tried to end it with him several times but he will not except it. Recently we had a conversation, she told me that she knew that I was better for her and that I would give her everything she wanted. She said she couldn't tell him that she loved him anymore but she couldn't let go for some reason. She has a realy big heart and doesn't want to hurt anyone, but she is putting herself through the most hurt trying not to hurt him. I told her that I would leave her alone for a while, and give her time to figure things out in her life.

I have been in many realstionships where problems come about and I was able to walk away without ever looking back. It is different with her, I cant let her go! I am constantly thinking about her and realy want to be with her. It kills me to see her hurting because of him and I just hate to sit back and watch what he is doing to her. Isn't there anything I can do, other than wait and hope things turn out for the best?

Wow - this is Deja Vu for me.

Your story hits home because I had the same exact situation when I was in college. My second year in college I met this girl in my raquet ball class and became friends with her. Over time we clicked perfectly but she did have a long time bf so I honored that fact and never tried to "steal" her away or anything. Over time as we became closer she really started confiding in my the troubles she was having with this guy. He was constantly picking on her, calling her names, accusing her of cheating on him, etc. Over time this escalated into her getting pushed out of a moving vehicle and stuff like that. Every time she would have an event she would come crying to me with this junk and I would do my best to counsil her. Everytime she would tell me she was going to break it off with him but he would always come back with flowers and promises (as most abusers do) and she would take him back. Fast forward one year she showed up at my doorstep one night in tears after he roughed her up again and she finally broke it off with him. I figured this was the break I was looking for and we started dating and it was like we were perfect for each other. Fast forward a couple of months she comes to me and tells me she need to "evaluate" her situation and needs some space - no problem on my part. Couple of weeks go by and she calls me telling me she is engaged to the bum. I was completly floored and depressed. This really hit me hard because I had no doubt that this was the woman I was to marry and wasted two years of my life patiently waiting around for her to ditch the bum for good but it never happened.

So what did I learn from this is that some people are wired a bit funny when it comes to relationships. My logical thinking the whole time was that she would certainly see the light sooner or later that I was a much better choice for her than the bum. I mean I was better looking, smarter, more mature, etc etc than this bum so I figured that it was a no brainer that she would eventually dump this jerk and come to me with open arms and go into the sunset happlily ever after. But no - for some reason she just couldn't let this guy go.

So if I were you I wouldn't get too fixed on the idea that this girl of your dreams will wake up one morning and "smell the coffee". She is continuously showing you that she can't get this turkey out of her system and I bet the trend will continue. She is showing no signs that she is strong enough to control the situation so good luck.

Oh and by the way I guess I can say I can have the last laugh as I did meet my beutiful bride a few years later. We have been happily married for 14 yrs now and have 3 wonderful kids. As for the girl that married the bum - well she is divorced 3 times now and I understand she is engaged to be married for her 4th time. What a train wreck she turned out to be!