MythBusters
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Senior Member
Registered: 02-19-07
Posts: 595
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the corny-er the better
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Senior Member
Registered: 06-04-06
Posts: 1217
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OK, you asked for it:
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? "Here come the elephants."
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill while wearing sunglasses and straw hats? Nothing, he didn't recognize them.
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Senior Member
Registered: 11-03-06
Posts: 3728
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Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a corn feild.... Because of all the ears!!!!!!
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Senior Member
Registered: 08-19-05
Posts: 1639
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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree  Because he was dead  |
Senior Member
Registered: 10-26-07
Posts: 1347
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(I got this one from a pastor of a church I went to as a child.)
What did the monkey say as his tail was cut off by the lawnmower?
"It won't be long now."
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Senior Member
Registered: 08-19-05
Posts: 1639
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How many cats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None...cats don't have opposable thumbs, silly.
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Senior Member
Registered: 07-07-07
Posts: 777
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How many idiots does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Ten, one to hold the bulb, and nine to turn the chair. (actually, you can substitute "idiot" for "average junior member")
How many psychics does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but they do it before it goes out.
How many cockroaches does it take to screw in a lightbulb? We may never know; they scatter when the light goes on.
How many jugglers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but the need at least three bulbs.
How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb ? Two. One to screw it in and one to screw it up.
How many pessimists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None; they won't change it 'cause it will just go out again later.
How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb ? None. It turned itself in.
How many Technical Support folks does it take to change a lightbulb ? One, but they do it like this:
"We have an exact copy of the bulb here, and it appears to work fine. Can You tell me what kind af system You have ? Okay, exactly how dark is it ? Okay, there could be four or five things wrong.... Have You tried the light switch ???"
How many magicians does it take to change a lightbulb ? Depends on what you want it to change into.
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Senior Member
Registered: 01-21-07
Posts: 11728
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How many idiots does it take to replace a light bulb? How many people are in Congress again?
(A woman needs to tell this one) Why does it take a woman with PMS to change a light bulb? BECAUSE IT DOES, FOOL!!!
Howmany psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? Onlyone, but it really has to want to change.
How many MythBusters does it take to change a light bulb? Five, one to change it and four to work out a way to do it.
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Senior Member
Registered: 11-02-07
Posts: 3383
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My uncle was a professor in a brewery.
He made BudWeiser.
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Senior Member
Registered: 11-28-07
Posts: 135
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Alright, alright. Here are some of my corny jokes:
Did you here about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
Arrrrgh!
A man is stopped by a policeman, who notices that there are 3 penguins in the back seat. The cop says, "Excuse me, but I need you to take those penguins to the zoo. They don't belong in your car." The man replies, "Okay sir," and drives off.
The next day, that same cop stops the man and gets angry because the penguins are still there. "I thought that I told you to take them to the zoo!" "I did," the man replied, "and they had so much fun there, I've decided that today they're going to the beach!"
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Member
Registered: 02-16-07
Posts: 17
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Here's a good one:
There is a mom tomato, a dad tomato, and a kid tomato taking a walk. The kid tomato is falling behind, so the dad comes back, squishes him and says, "catch up"!
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Senior Member
Registered: 12-09-07
Posts: 1623
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what time is it when the elephant sits on the fence?- Time to get new fence
What's black and white and red all over?-Nothing, that's impossible
What did the gun say when it got fired?-Shoot!
A string walks into a bar; the bartender says, "sorry no strings allowed". So the string leaves. The next day he ties himself into a knot and goes back into the same bar. The bartender says, "hey, aren't you that string I kicked out yesterday?" The strings says, "I'm a frayed Knot!"
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Senior Member
Registered: 08-19-05
Posts: 1639
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A Panda walks angrilly into a bar and grill and sits down at one of the tables. He orders his food and eats it very very fast.
The waiter then comes over to his table to give him the check.
All of a sudden, the Panda whips out a 9mm and shoots the waiter dead.
The angry bear then gets up and heads toward the door.
However, the manager runs over and says "Why did you do that!?"
The Panda says, "I'm a Panda Bear,look it up!" and walks out.
The manager goes back into his office and Google's "Panda Bear" and finds the shocking truth!
It said... "Panda Bear: Eats chutes and leaves."
DUM DUM DUMMMMMM!
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Senior Member
Registered: 02-01-06
Posts: 628
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Once when I was jogging on the beach
I came upon a bottle with a note inside.
Ever since I've wondered:
"Whadya suppose that note said?"
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Senior Member
Registered: 02-01-06
Posts: 628
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Can you imagine being a hypnotist?
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Senior Member
Registered: 11-23-06
Posts: 142
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how do you catch a polar bear?
go to a frozen lake: cut a hole in the ice: set bait around hole: when the polar bear comes to eat the bait, you kick him in the ICEhole
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Member
Registered: 01-04-08
Posts: 6
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quote: Originally posted by nikolas7:
Here's a good one:
There is a mom tomato, a dad tomato, and a kid tomato taking a walk. The kid tomato is falling behind, so the dad comes back, squishes him and says, "catch up"!
pulp fiction : )! |
Senior Member
Registered: 11-28-07
Posts: 232
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quote: Originally posted by awesome_possum:
How many idiots does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Ten, one to hold the bulb, and nine to turn the chair. (actually, you can substitute "idiot" for "average junior member")
How many psychics does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but they do it before it goes out.
How many cockroaches does it take to screw in a lightbulb? We may never know; they scatter when the light goes on.
How many jugglers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but the need at least three bulbs.
How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb ? Two. One to screw it in and one to screw it up.
How many pessimists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None; they won't change it 'cause it will just go out again later.
How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb ? None. It turned itself in.
How many Technical Support folks does it take to change a lightbulb ? One, but they do it like this:
"We have an exact copy of the bulb here, and it appears to work fine. Can You tell me what kind af system You have ? Okay, exactly how dark is it ? Okay, there could be four or five things wrong.... Have You tried the light switch ???"
How many magicians does it take to change a lightbulb ? Depends on what you want it to change into.
Here's another one, awesome_possum. How many cowboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Four, one to hold the lightbulb and three to turn the house. |
Senior Member
Registered: 02-19-07
Posts: 595
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how many moderaters does it take to screw in a light bulb? On second thought i think it'd be better if i didnt finish that one  |
Senior Member
Registered: 12-09-07
Posts: 1623
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Two guys walk into a bar....one of them should have seen it!
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