OK, so this boy is home one holloween watching scary movies, when all of a sudden a coffin bursts through the door coming to get him.
He runs through the house throwing whatever he can at it to try and stop it but it keeps coming.
He gets to the bathroom and is cornered he opened the medicine cabinet and threw whatever he could at it, asprine, bandages. Finally all he had left was a cough drop so he threw it. Guess what happened...the coffin stopped.
How many spies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know what you're talking about.
No, really; how many spies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know why you're asking me....first, you don't know me, and I was never here. Second, I believe there are no lightbulbs, and unless you want me to release these pictures to the press, you believe that, too.
How do you hide an elephant? Paint its toenails red, and make it climb a cherry tree.
Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? Works, doesn't it!
Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.
The final elephant joke is...well...a double entendre, and I'm not looking to get banned.
Q: one A: How many physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
how many discovery channel writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? none, they are too busy making crappy shows that no-one watches (cough cough SMASHLAB! cough cough
Judge Judy decided to assist the police in a prostitution sting. She was to act as the madam in the fake house of ill repute they set up. When the raid went down, one cop did not recognize Judge Judy, and hauled her downtown and booked her. Later, he was called into his captain's office where he was yelled at and berated for half an hour. Finally the captain said give me your badge and gun, you are on suspension for a month. The moral of the story is:
This is awful, but funny. And it reminds me of a true story about a young mans Theoretical physics paper.
Theroetical physics question. Use deductive reasoning to decide whether hell is endothermic and exothermic, explain your reasoning.
Answer: If we are to take the postulate given three years prior to writing by one Mallidan Astin, that postulate being 'It shall be a cold day in hell before I sleep with you.' as a coming from a reliable source, and further we take the fact that the postulated event has yet to occure, then we can reason that hell is endothermic. To further substanciate out claim we can look at similar or identical postulates put forth by six other sources over the past decade (Appendix 1) and also at the lack of any medical record in any establishment for the devil, beelzebub or any other resdient of hell falling victim to the common cold or flu, both viruses which thrive in cold tempratures but not in hot tempratures.
