What kind of jokes do corn on the cob tell?

Corny jokes

How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

none, it's a hardware problem.

how many hardware engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

none, they can fix it in software.

Yooper Computer knowledge.

LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter.
LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.
MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the wood stove.
DOWNLOAD: Gettin' the farwood off the truck
MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin' the farwood
FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood
RAM: That thing tha splits the farwood
HARD DRIVE: Gettin' home in the winter time
PROMPT: What the mail ain't in the winter time
WINDOWS: What to shut when it's cold outside
SCREEN: What to shut when it's black fly season
BYTE: What them dang flies do
CHIP: Munchies fer the TV
MICRO CHIP: What's in the bottom of the munchie bag
MODEM: Whatcha did to the hay fields
DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife
LAP TOP: Where the kitty sleeps
KEYBOARD: Where ya hang the dang truck keys
SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knives
MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn
MOUSE PAD: That's hippie talk fer the mouse hole
MAIN FRAME: Holds up the barn roof
ENTER: Northerner talk fer "c'mon in, y'all"
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya can't 'member what ya paid fer the rifle

Knock knock.

Whose there?

Interupting cow.

Interup.......

Moooo!!!!!!!!!!!

why is a cat with 3 good legs like adding 8 and 5?

Put down 3 and carry 1.

quote:

Originally posted by adithsubramanian:
the corny-er the better

What did the fish say when it ran in to a concrete wall?

Dam

Curiousponderer!!!
That was hilarious!!

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By the way, I like SmashLab because I think that their ideas are interesting. Please, stop commenting on how bad it is. I like it.

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I know that those exam answers I posted earlier seem kind of sad, bad I honestly can't stop laughing.

Why did the skeleton pick on the other skeleton? He had a bone to pick with.

How many teeth does a shark have? I don’t know. Nobody has enough time to count.

Why did the earthquake get in trouble? It was his fault.

What do you call a fat knight? Sir Eats a Lot

What do you call an old genie? Genie of the Cramp

What do you do when you want your aunt to stop talking? Use auntifreeze.

Boy: Let’s go to unsharpened pencil factory! Other Boy: What’s the point?

How do you fix a broken band? With a Band-aid

Who are the greatest carriers of AIDS?

Old people Rolaids, hearing aids bandaids

BTW, uggae, I have the book, "Panda eats shoots and leaves."

137 lemmings run into a bar. ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.

A butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

I get my large circumference from too much pi.

What do mathematicians do when when it rains?
They coincide.

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are a $1.79 and deer nuts are under a buck.

OK, one more:


One day at the airport, a gate agent stops a buzzard in the line to board a plane and asks to look in the buzzard's bag.

The buzzard opens his bag, and inside are two dead raccoons.

The gate agent says, "You'll have to check one of the raccoons." "Why?", asks the buzzard. "Airline policy", replies the gate agent. "Only one carrion per passenger."

do you know why there are no unicorns??

because one got chuck norris mad so he punched off the unicorn's horn and now they are all horses


33

I know the perfect joke

except that it's borderline inappropriate so I'd beter not say it

Here's a good joke

When Grandma Goes To Court

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, ' Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

did you hear the one about the broken pencil?
never mind it's point less.

33

Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice


33

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What do you call a constipated German -- Farfrompoopin.